Ham Tyler is the Dude

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I'm trying to use this huge Jet Engine to propel my Segway and it says I've only got one gear (called "death") that I can select. I've looked around on the web for help, but to my astonishment not a lot of people have tried this before.

Does anyone know what's wrong?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, you are so the magic.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone see Neighbours today? The mafia bit was fantastic.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a bit like Americans- you think that they are talking the same language, but they aren't ( and I will leave the satire aside, confident in the knowlege that someone else won't be able to resist the word Americans as their starter for 10).

Gentlemen, what the fuck are you on about?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Contrary to Linky's astonishment, several people have sucessfully attached jet engines to their Segways. They are now seen as "murals" on the sides of buildings here and there.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 13 November 2003 02:39 (twenty-two years ago)

that's not a jet vagine by any means. believe it or not, that's the cup holder. everything is "super-size" over there now, especially the bevvies. heck, the ladies limp around like new equestrians. everything.

as for the so-called "death" setting. that's actually "de 'ath," which is hebrew for both circumcision and bling. everything over there is also in hebrew at the moment.

anyway, try the de 'ath thing and let us watch. the webcam's still working fine -- if a little smeary with raisin cream and skittle water. there is some static when you do that jumping thing as you hitch your drawers. but actually thank god for that.

― hurley (hurley), Friday, 14 November 2003 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

four months pass...

i think u guys are huge queers if you want to fight, my name is JAY HAMILTON. my phone number is 402-489-7321. if you call i'll probably answere the phone w/ a big HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMILTONS. I'm a man of stature. i enjoy steak, sweatpants, whity tighties, and ann. give me a holla u fuckin losers.

― The Wooden Dowel, Tuesday, 23 March 2004 07:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Jay Hamilton of 3322 Longview Ct, Lincoln, NE 68506?

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I say we kill all Jay Hamilton's enemies. Then he'll be alone in the world. That would fix his wagon.

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

First you fix the Applause Sign now 'Crazy Jay's Wagon. I am worried and perplexed. With you 104.32% on the Jay Hamilton Friend Genocide project though. Nebraska in the springtime. Blood on the tracks. Is there anything lovelier?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Aimless is bloodthirsty.

He's been known to put a fresh-grilled steak in the yard and set steel-jaw traps around it.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Which is why Saullie, Pooster, Robin Makenzee, Woodbine and Wouldn’t You Like To Know don’t contribute to Ask A Drunk any more.

The weirdest thing is that Saullie was a vegan. I suppose that steak did vaguely resemble a nut cutlet, in a poor light.

― Rex (Rex), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

My name is not nor never has been Ham. But enough about that!

I don't quite understand the sudden outbreak of violence on this board, so many people fighting, hacking each other up into bite sized pieces, chewing ears off, etc, etc etc.

Not to sound namby pamby but his post makes him sound all big and brutish and he probably would whip us 6 at a time with no prblem at all.

I say we send Zen over to his house to apologize in person for our misdeeds.

(while he's there he is sure to transmit some type of deadly disease)... problem solved, no one but Zen at risk, the mpegs could be sold online to pay for beer!

HEY ZEN! C'mear a minute, I got a shiny ball of aluminum foil for ya!

Good Zen, nice Zen, Sic him!

― Ðµdë §téè£, Wednesday, 24 March 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

BTW...

Ask A Drunk is #2 on Google for Ham Tyler, need to work on that!

― Ðµdë §téè£, Wednesday, 24 March 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

GRRRRR!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Hot XXX Ham Tyler pics!!!!!!!!!!!!

who' Ham Tyler?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

He's Michael Ironside's character in V.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Ham Tyler,

Ham Tyler and Ham Tyler were Ham Tyler ing at the mall when they passed Ham Tyler shoes and more store featuring the new Ham Tyler edition of Ham Tyler 's newest signature series of shoes.

Ham Tyler said to Ham Tyler, "Ham Tyler, Why dont we hook up some of those new Ham Tyler shoes?" Ham Tyler of an Idea if I, Ham Tyler may say so......

There.... I did my part :) but we're never gonna hit #1 at this rate!

― Ðµdë §téè£, Friday, 26 March 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm glad to see that blissim is still around.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I left that letter out of that word in the previous post because I have a whole box of Qs but I am short of that letter that Qs need to manifest themselves properly. I'm not the sort to waste letters on silly for*ms.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Saturday, 27 March 2004 01:34 (twenty-one years ago)

good recovery

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Saturday, 27 March 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Coming from a man who wobbles but doesn't fall down, I'd take that as high praise.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 29 March 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Does Weeb really have an implanted gyroscope or is that just a rumor?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 29 March 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I saw Weeb on a web page featuring the implanted gynoscope.... http://www.naughtynurses.com or something like that.

― Ðµdë §téè£, Tuesday, 30 March 2004 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, well, you naughty boy. My system seems to think that your link is infected. BUGS! We hates 'em we does. Microsoft loves them.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I regret to advise all that my gyroscope has failed and I do in fact fall down

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I speak slightly metaphorically- "I do in fact get pissed as a rat" would be technically more accurate.
Though actually, thinking about that, why would a rat be pissed anyway? Some sort of OD on Warfarin?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 30 March 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

The consequences of OD-ing on Warfarin are too horrible to contemplate

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Bleeding nipples. How iconic.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

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