Paging Celeste to the white courtesy telephone

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Hello? Celeste, is that you? Thank god I reached you.

About those threads from the Orignal By-Gawd Ask A Drunk Forum that you so forethoughfully pinched off the Google server before they disappeared, never to be seen again on this or any other World Wide Web... I have been thinking about the proper inducement to convince you to loosen your fast grip upon these rare and beauteous wonders from the Forgotten World of Greenspun and I seem to have arrived at a conclusion.

Since the old standbys (viz. promises of compliant girls, diet pills and booze galore) do not seem to work in your case, I am prepared to offer you promissary notes, endorsed to my bank in Qatar, for sums in excess of your wildest dreams. Should you not be moved by this princely offer, might I suggest that you re-examine your dream of reformatting the Google pages so as to deuglify them. This dream, while worthy of one so fair and young, so comely and tenderhearted, must be crushed like a cigarette butt in the Ash Tray of Broken Dreams this instant!

I do not care for pretty web pages. I do not care to see you soiling your pretty fingers at the keyboard or knotting your pretty brow over so trivial a pursuit. Release those old AAD threads and let them roam free again, knocking over virtual lamps and puking in virtual alleyways as their Creators intended. It would be a kindness.

Thank you.

Aimless, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Did I mention these promissary notes will be suitable for framing?

Aimless, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

My dear Aimless, what can I say?
I'm rubbish!
I got swept away in a tide of CSS and beads. It's been very pretty, but no use to you at all.

If you look here you will find an alphabetical list of all the prettified pages that are done. Plenty of light reading for you.

I'll go through and link all the unprettified pages to that one later tonight or tomorrow, so you can have the entire lot.

Then I'll carry on prettifying them as the days go by, because I'm a pefectionist, and they make a good excuse to avoid doing numerous things, like cleaning, sleeping and doing webpages for certain musically inclined individuals.

As for the promissary notes, framing them is a good idea, and would uphold a family tradition. Money is far too good to spend in my family, but it does make pretty pictures to hang on the wall.

celeste (Celeste), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Tut! Tut! Take it from one who knows rubbish, my dear; you are not rubbish. For one thing, the consistency is all wrong. Aside from that, you have made me a very, very happy* man. I thank you. Later, perhaps, I shall thank you again.

*No warranty written or implied.

Aimless, Thursday, 20 November 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

why not adopt the style and manner of those TASS hostesses who graciously disrobe as they dispense the latest death tolls and astrological tiddies. that's the only decent way to dole out pretty postings.

or you could type them ten words a time onto slips of paper, pack them into sugared deep-fried wontons, then wedge the lot between the keys and so onto the 'net. we crack them open at our end, and enjoy the drolleries times five by adding the phrase "between the sheets" at the fino of each paper segment.

or you could just ring us up one at a time and give it up over the 'phone.

i feel like the currant approach isn't good for you. too dry and wrinkly.

hurley (hurley), Monday, 24 November 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

two weeks pass...
Celeste, my dear, I have been visiting your delightful web site for over a fortnight, enjoying its contents and eagerly awaiting your capitulation on the prettification vs. completion question. Alas, the site remains as pretty as ever and as incomplete.

I beg you once more: please do a half-arsed job of it and let the buyer beware of the broken links, the putrid banana peelings, the detritus of Google and whatnot. Should begging not turn the trick, I shall resort to more prepotent strategies, such as... um... I haven't any better strategies than begging, truth be known.

Aimless, Monday, 8 December 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

three weeks pass...
wow! why doesn't Mick Andmontmourency post anymore?

«»«»«»«», Friday, 2 January 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...
Is anyone going to complete the archives anytime soon?

Heave Ho, Tuesday, 1 February 2005 04:19 (twenty-one years ago)

tum te tum.

I got distracted again didn't I.

Damn 9-5 getting in the way of life and random internet wibblings.

Have I said sorry yet?
Sorry, sorry, sorry lots, sorry.

bilblio (Celeste), Monday, 7 February 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)


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