Something Lynskey said: don't tell jokes that are past their sell-by date of one month.
(Alright, what was actually said was: don't tell the same joke for a whole month, which I agree with in principal, although I do have to say that this one might go a fair few weeks yet, even though it's a rework of a protojoke that has been around for years...
A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheely bins and emptying them into his dustcart. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back but still can't see it, so he knocks on the door. There's no answer so he knocks again. Eventually a Japanese bloke answers...
"Harro", says the Japanese chap.
"Alright mate, where's your bin?" asks the dustman.
"I bin on toilet" replies the Japanese bloke, looking perplexed.
Realising the Japanese fellow has misunderstood, the binman smiles and says, "No mate, where's ya dust bin?"
"I dust bin on toilet, I told you" says the Japanese man.
"Mate" says the dustman... "you're misunderstanding me... Where's your
Wheely Bin?"
"OK, OK," says the Jap, "I wheely bin having a wank")
Firstly, I'd like to know how one might know if jokes are past their sell-by date, and secondly, where the hell do they come from anyway? I have tried to spawn jokes left, right and centre, and none of them have ever come back to me (okay, you're saying to yourself that they weren't funny in the first place ... but whoah! Some of them were absolutely excellent! Believe me, that French food s***e scandal of a coupla years ago spawned some excellent ones!)
If you would like to help me in my research, please forward the image at www.stackpool.com to whomsoever is on your mailing list. It's not the funniest thing I could possibly have come up with, and therefore it might take a lot longer to get around the Internet than that the "What's wrong with this picture?" gag ... but what the hell. We have to have a scientific analysis of jokes, and academics sure don't seem to have the answers.
Obviously, if you don't think it's remotely amusing, you don't need to forward it to anyone.
Many xxxxs, Jon
― Pooster (pooster), Tuesday, 12 November 2002 03:32 (twenty-three years ago)
OK! OK! Crap! OK!
OK! Shit!
OK! Here is a new joke, a totally new joke that is fresh from the butcher's block straight from me. Like I said before, you don't have to use it, you don't have to like it, but it would be nice if you could let me know, maybe in 20 years' time, if you ever hear it again, in whatever form (I guess it lends itself to improvements!)
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Two guys are discussing male rape, and one of them can't agree that a woman can rape a man.
The other fella is adamant that a woman CAN rape a man:
"Sure they can," he says, "I been raped by a woman! She was a garlic-eating, bald 50-year-old who looked liked Nosferatu, her breasts were like bags of pus, her ginger pussy was like a prolapsed meatloaf, and she was an alcoholic!"
"So what the hell made you fuck her?" says the the other guy...
"Hey, don't YOU always do everything your mother tells you to?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Like I said, take it or leave it: like the stormsuit(R), I don't pretend that it's the funniest thing ever in the world, but I don't see you guys submitting the ultimate experimental control yet ... even though, hey, you have to admit, it's a fun thing to do.... Post your jokes here! (ie jokes you made up yourself ... we could get ourselves a happenin' little joke factory here... maybe get some kind of grant from some university too.)
― Pooster (pooster), Saturday, 16 November 2002 02:58 (twenty-three years ago)