unit of measure for pure gumption

First, forget everything you think you know about pirates. See, that was easy, wasn't it? There's nothing like an ether binge to erase unneeded parts of one's brain, is there? At least, if there is, I can't recall what it might be just now, which amounts to the same thing in the end.

Pirates were much like today's homeless, except they were less likely to be in possession of a shopping cart and more likely to cut your throat upon casual acquaintance. Perhaps a better analog would be soccer hooligans with cutlasses, although few soccer hooligans are nautically-minded, nor do they know a mainbrace from a sheep shank, the louts. You must then imagine a band of slovenly, bloody-minded yachtsmen, dressed in dead men's clothes and reeking of muscatel and old vomit. There! That would describe pirates to a tee.

Of course, that's my answer for everything.

Ah, hello, officer, don’t worry, this is my sister Fallaizia. Mother disowned her two years ago. It was all very sad at the time. Hilarious now, of course.

I sit here, in almost unbearable boredom, wondering if the quality of my life would be improved if I had a hobby.
The idea of"collecting strumpets", somehow, seems to fascinate me. I have 10 or 12 solid brass antique garden hose nozzles but hey, where's the fun in that?
How many strumpets would I need before I could call them a "collection"?
I'm willing to trust you here, Matthew. You are obviously a man of the world and although I wouldn't want to take a shower with you or loan you money, I would welcome any advice you might care to bestow upon me about strumpets.

TIA