Why 2004 has to be better than 2003 was.

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What reasons do you have for why 2004 has to be better than 2003.

All wines are now 1 year older and therefore 1 year better.

Same for whisky and scotch.

The Olsen twins are closer to being legal and appearing in Playboy.

― Ðµdë §téè£, Friday, 2 January 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

you asked the same question next year!! as someone who has been moving backward through time since you were an old man sucking kreteks through a 2 meter length of surgical tubing, i can only tell you that your best years almost certainly are behind you. much devastation. many lesions and goiters. on the bright side, the salad days are ahead of me. you should have jumped into the pod when you had your chance. good beer and all.

― hurley (hurley), Friday, 2 January 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

2004 is an even number. I find that comforting. Odd numbers make me feel, well, odd.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 2 January 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

And it is a Leap Year. Leaping is fun.

― C J (C J), Friday, 2 January 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

until someone loses an eye.

― hurley (hurley), Friday, 2 January 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

That is precisely why one should always *look* first.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 2 January 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

You're just no fun, are you?

― C J (C J), Saturday, 3 January 2004 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Some things ain't funny.

They don't call me "Cyclops" for no reason.

"Leaping" can be dangerous for normal people. Try it with no parallax.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 4 January 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Before my Doctor put me on Parallax, I was completely unable to leap.

Matter of fact I could barely skip and very rarely was able to hop.

But since I started taking the "Little Paisley Pill" my lifestyle has improved greatly!

ASK YOUR DR. FOR THE LITTLE PAISLEY PILL!

Side affects include insomnia, narcolepsy, necrophelia, vomiting, explosive rectal discharge, loss of limbs, blindness, and coughing, are minor in less than 1% of users and completely debillitating in the other 99%.

― Ðµdë §téè£, Sunday, 4 January 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Does the "Little Paisley Pill" make you shout in an Irish accent as well?

― C J (C J), Monday, 5 January 2004 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Not that I have noticed.

But then again while under the influence of "The Little Paisley Pill" all of the other voices in my head seem to drown out my voice. That and the fact that I am in no condition to try and figure out how to setup a microphone and a tape recorder to see err hear what I do sound like.

Sorry about shouting like that but it is part of my contract that I must shout at the top of my lungs whenever I first extoll the virtues of said pills.

Gotta go, my elephant needs a shave.

― Ðµdë §téè£, Monday, 5 January 2004 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

KINETY DINE!

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 5 January 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

FAIR DINKUM!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 5 January 2004 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

It is time to set the record straight. Both 2003 and 2004 have vanished without a trace and no teams of searchers, with bloodhounds baying upon their leashes, are scouring the countryside looking for their shallow graves. No one pines away for 2004. No one weeps for 2003. They are not missed, except in that rather tenuous way that one misses the Muzak after walking from the mall to the parking lot.

― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:31 (eighteen years ago)

Like Grandpa always used to tell me...

"When the cornrows seek scampi Eli coddles the hound dog."

He drank cough syrup all day long every day of the week.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 02:19 (eighteen years ago)

Eternal recurrence might actually happen but I can't see how there won't be a vast number of almost recurrences; everything's just like it was in the past save for small, or even quite large differences. A leaf falls to the left instead of the right, a flea survives, a man is or isn't elected President of a large, newish republic. Given the butterfly effect, the fact that the flea survives might change everything. You might show up to work one morning only to find that you not only don't work there, but you don't live at your home, are not married, have a different and, perhaps even, unpronounceable name, and drink a whole array of cocktails which you once would have shunned. It's enough to drive a man to, to, to something but I can't remember what.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 14:31 (eighteen years ago)

As a neighbor's bumper sticker says, "Is it 2008 yet?"

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 14:51 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

It is getting closer and closer EVERY day.....

― Ðµdë §téè£, Friday, 21 September 2007 01:57 (seventeen years ago)

As is the heat death of the universe. I am knitting a sweater in anticipation and I hope it will be done in time.

― Aimless, Friday, 21 September 2007 02:10 (seventeen years ago)

All that is required is a switch from chilled beverages to mulled wine to view the approaching heat death with equanimity.

― Matt, Friday, 21 September 2007 10:25 (seventeen years ago)

.... view the approaching heat death with equanimity.
-- Matt

equanimity.... is that the fear of horses?

― Ðµdë §téè£, Tuesday, 25 September 2007 02:04 (seventeen years ago)

neigh

― Matt, Tuesday, 25 September 2007 08:04 (seventeen years ago)

Horsefeathers!

― Michael White, Tuesday, 25 September 2007 17:27 (seventeen years ago)

This seems as reasonable a time as any to mention my screenplay set in the murky world of 24 Scouse House dance contests They do shoot horses though don't they though? As you were.

― Matt, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 23:02 (seventeen years ago)

I you are looking for someone to play the loud mouthed out of towner I am willing to relocate if the funding permits.

― Ðµdë §téè£, Thursday, 27 September 2007 03:25 (seventeen years ago)

I don't know what a 24 Scouse House dance contest consists of but it sounds like a louche place to kop a feel.

― Michael White, Thursday, 27 September 2007 15:42 (seventeen years ago)

Scouse

kop

Your prose is athrong with cultural awareness and nonchalant intertextuality. Consider this young marmot impressed.

― Just got offed, Thursday, 27 September 2007 16:09 (seventeen years ago)

My great uncle was impressed once. He awoke to find himself on board a ship of the Grey Funnel Line (aka Royal Navy) outbound from Portsmouth. He stayed on because he loved the blouses.

― Aimless, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:59 (seventeen years ago)

Jgo, my intertextuality was totally chalant when I wrote that! Why do you think they threatened me with a constant escort?

― Michael White, Thursday, 27 September 2007 18:52 (seventeen years ago)

Given that I reside but a lobbed scally's brick from the borders of merseyside it was more <i>verite</i> than anything else.

― Matt, Thursday, 27 September 2007 19:17 (seventeen years ago)

I'd take a constant escort over the constant tundra.

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 27 September 2007 19:21 (seventeen years ago)

<i>with a constant escort</i>, Tom, here refers to the famous football chant 'You'll never wall Cologne!'.

― Michael White, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:17 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.channel4.com/4car/media/100-greatest/03-large/41-ford-escort.jpg

― Heave Ho, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:21 (seventeen years ago)

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