Silly Questions

i have a good chum who's taken the same tack with explosives. first he'd bang caps off in his ear with a flint splint and spark hammer. from there he moved steadily through pixi-pops, block-busters, and M80s. He's now at the point where he can take full sticks of TNT in both ears at the same time (synched detonation with a bite action IR master/slave unit).

and then there were those girls in ho chi minh city. they had ears of steel by god. 9000 GIs a day. really makes you stop and think.

MASTER!

*Kneels, places forehead on ground.*

I foolishly thought I had an imagination but I see now that I am an insignificant piece of shit. Somewhat like a rat's fart in the infinity of outer space.

From now on, hur, I'll set 'em up...you knock 'em down.

Humiliation, obviously, is nothing new to me.

I can tolerate pain too. I've been married three times.

I can report that this procedure was partially successful, but not in the way I expected; rather than unlock my mind in some sort of psychedelic sense, it's actually done nothing but reduce my hearing. Now, that might sound bad, but the reduction in audio distractions has allowed me to think so clearly as to not perform the procedure on the second ear. Therefore, it was a net gain.

Damn freeloaders.

My ex-husband used to scratch deep into his ears with his car keys. Until that fateful day when, despite years of warnings, he harvested the worst ear infection doctors here had ever seen. Finally, after months of testing, one of our hospital labs nailed a diagnosis: The cause? A mould, so rare as to only be found in a remote town in Africa, called 'Aspergillus Niger'. Many more months of medication + tests were launched against the 'A.N.' Finally it began to turn around. Taken together, did these events deter the A.N. Man? Nada. Nope. Zilch. No cigar. To this day he refuses to exercise even the most vapor-like hint of discipline against this most disgusting of habits (visualization: 400+ lbs of quivering flesh cranking his left arm in a clockwise rotation til the tip of his elbow caresses that side's earlobe). In an attempt to rid my fertile mind of such buff memories, I'd be willing to consider cashing in a pile of his I.O.Me's for first dibs on his next crop of black gold. If you're looking for a good trophy-catcher's bait, lemme know...

Oh, my...showing my age...

I once stuck my car key into my front door and it started up and before I could catch it, my house was two blocks away.

My advice, K8, is to let the ugly slob indulge in his filthy habit and perhaps he will someday engage his ignition switch and find himself in Timbuktu and you will be free of him.