Sleep: Classic or Dud?

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The last time I awoke to find I had been sleeping, the bedclothes were twisted about my neck and the pillow was on top of my face. I suspect the cat.

Aimless, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

If you had slept for just a few moments longer, you would have slept forever. And the cat would have hired in a new tin-opening slave

Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

If you had slaved for a while longer, you could have saved up enough for a tin-opening cat.

Matt (Matt), Thursday, 29 January 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Go without it for a while too long and you will wish you were descended from Rip Van Winkle. Get the cat some catnip. Very useful. After their high wears off, they sleep like babies. I hear you can substitute the stuff for oregano, too, or am I thinking of something else?

jim wentworth (wench), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

not......Blissium?

Weebleman (StillSimon), Sunday, 8 February 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

By Joe! THAT'S wut's wrong with this bloody forum...NO BLISSIUM!

No mention of Ormskirk. No grebes. No mandrills. No antelopes. And, alas, no hatpins. I've tears in me eyes.

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 9 February 2004 06:34 (twenty-one years ago)

You have touched muy heart Marty, I feel an appeal coming on.

ROLL UP! ROLL UP!

Ladies and gentleman, young and old, one and all, I invite you to LOOK into your hearts, REACH into your wallets and DONATE DONATE DONATE to "Marty's Meme fund" soon we will have enough to buy him scale models of all those things he truly loves including a TO SCALE, FULLY FUNCTIONING ORMSKIRK.

Matt (Matt), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

not.... not.... not....

Ormskirk II

The massivley anticipated sequel to the worlds favorite market town come boxing ring come toilet come ARENA OF DEATH.

Question is who will play the role of Ormskirks newest hippest DEADLIEST resident, the Ormskirk Ripper?

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought the matter was settled, it's Steve Harley out of Cockney Rebel.

Matt (Matt), Monday, 9 February 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

or perhaps Les McKeown out of the Bay City Rollers?
How deadly do they have to be?
If just dead will do, how about a Marc Bolan zombie?

Weebleman (StillSimon), Monday, 9 February 2004 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"Get in on / Eat some brains" etc.

Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 00:06 (twenty-one years ago)

(How are those donations coming along?)

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 16 February 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

does a man in porn sopose to have sex with a man to become a porn star?or be straight?please let me know

toby richard terry (toby richard terry), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

does a man have to have sex before being porn star or be staright.please let me know i want to become a porn star

toby richard terry (toby richard terry), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, Toby, you have come to the right place to have your questions answered.

You see, in the porn industry, it doesn't matter who you are. What matters is what you appear to be. I, Zen Clown, used to star in porn films and my penis is only, at best, three inches long. It was the magic of cinamatography that made my co-stars appear to be gasping in the throes of orgasm when they were actually trying to controll their giggles.

(Zen? You are drunk and your spelling is terrible.)

((So? What's your point?))

(The point is, Mr. Clown, you are a horribly boring person.)

((Oh yeah? Well i happen to know that you wanted to use the word "atrotious" but couldn't spell it.))

(Neither can you.)

Now, where was I? Oh, yes, my penis. No. Toby's penis.

Toby? Submit a picture of yourself naked in an aroused state and I'm sure the members of this forum will have some constructive advice for you.

Don't feel weird about it. Almost everyone on this forum has displayed themselves naked. Even CJ, who claims that she really was stark naked on the other side of that mountain in the picture she sent in.

(Zen? Shut the fuck up.)

OK


Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 19 February 2004 03:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Does anyone else find Zen Clowns internal dialogue arousing?


no?

Just him then.

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 19 February 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I must thank you, Jim, for your very proper chastisement.

I really am a drunk and sometimes the synergetic effect of alcohol and idiocy overwhelms me.

I really should quit drinking and exit this forum. I find myself, lately, dreaming of grebes....

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 19 February 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

By the way, Sir. Should we ever meet...I'm buying.

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 20 February 2004 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Funny how I manage to show up just as you offer to buy......that's not my usual swill, but gift horse and all, ya know.

еdë §téè£, Friday, 20 February 2004 04:06 (twenty-one years ago)

You drink horses?

Matt (Matt), Friday, 20 February 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

He has a very large blender.

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Mine has a hoof crushin blade.

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 26 February 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)


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