Where do I start, where should I go?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Hello there, I’m a full-time/lifestyle pre-op Transsexual escort, living here in London England; awfully damp and cold this time of year, yuk! Anyway, I've been writing my memoirs for less than a year now, about the wonderful and amusing adventures I encounter, along with the end of the days navel fluff reflections and observations, (not that I have any blue navel fluff mind) I'm aiming for 250,000 words for the memoirs. I’m now also entertaining the idea of writing a daily ‘blog,’ and so would like to ask you all out there, what might be the most appropriate ’blog site’ to write on? I’m new to this whole thing, so please be gentle with me, and go slowly. Thank you.

www.Fransexual.com

Frances.

― Frances, Monday, 15 March 2004 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Frances?

Before I can seriously communicate with you I need to know your bra size and...do you shave? Everything?

I think transexuals are incredibly erotic. In all honesty, though, I must say that I've never been able to maintain a relationship with a transexual. It's all my fault, of course. A shortcomming on my part. I just can't stand having a girlfriend who has a dick bigger than mine.

What was your question?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 15 March 2004 04:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Woof!

I went to her website. She's cute! I sent her an email!

(of course if it turns out that her dick is bigger than mine this will go nowhere.)

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 15 March 2004 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

or maybe somewhere new, sensuous and exciting?

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 07:49 (twenty-one years ago)

cotton eyed joe don't like no copycats.

― hurley (hurley), Thursday, 18 March 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Breaking the habit of a lifetime, and the cardinal rule of the Ask A Drunk forum, and thus turning myself into an irretrievable cyber-leper, may I steer this thread back on topic? – or ‘address the motion’, as we used to say, back in the days when we thought we were all going to be Chancellor of the Exchequer (I do keep a small exchequer in my airing cupboard, and every so often I chancel it, just to keep my spirits up, but it’s no compensation for my broken dreams. Mind you, a tenner would be ample compensation, why thank you sir, you’re a gent and no mistake).

Now, where was I?

Ah, yes: Frances, hi, and I wish I knew enough about blogging to give you some up-to-date advice. Most of the bloggers I come across seem unhappy about whichever site they’re using, so that isn’t a lot of help. But the regular contributors to Ask A Drunk write at least five blogs between them, so surely someone can offer a spot of guidance on this?

― Rex (Rex), Friday, 19 March 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

But,

trannys DO have dicks, don't they?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 19 March 2004 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Zen, your penis fixation is soooo refreshing. I share it, of a sorts, 'though mostly directed to my one, and occasionally to my kitties' paramours.

Frances, I can not agree more with Rex. They all suck. BTW, for a chick with a dick, your a beaut. Best of luck. Let us know where you blog.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 19 March 2004 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I concur entirely, and think I speak for the gout-ridden entirety of AAD when I say that whatever it was thatI was about to say was an uplifting message of hope for YOU, whoever and whenever you are, and don't you forget it, you ungrateful bastards. We own you, etc.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 19 March 2004 03:42 (twenty-one years ago)

*grovels*

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 19 March 2004 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

These past few days, I have been thinking of navel fluff. If I somehow would have had the foresight to save that through the years, it could be fashoned, with proper tailoring, into a comforter.

BTW, I've seen Francis' navel...It's CUTE!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 19 March 2004 10:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Frances sent me a response to my email today. She's so cute! She said "Back off, you bloody, perverted colonist sonofabitch or I'll tear your balls off and shove them down your bloody throat!" In England, that's "flirting" isn't it? I am experiencing, if not love, some serious infatuation here. I'm going to recycle my beer cans until I have enough money to travel to London to meet her. I'll be there Tuesday.
We haven't discussed hatpins yet...I don't want to rush things.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Saturday, 20 March 2004 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Hello boys girls, and to all those other folk out there, who perhaps fill, mentally/physically/otherwise, that void space between what seems to be confined to either male or female, like it matters? Sometimes, don't you find it all so limiting?. My 'Blog' is now up and running, though it's a bit rough right now, as in the template/layout, don’t knock it, last I heard, some people like a bit of rough, well, so they tell me downstairs. Give me some time, and I'll work on making it a bit more pleasing to the eye, the template that is, as I can't do much about the human look element, that’s about as good as it gets, but boy, you wanna see my mind....killer!!!.

www.Fransexual.blogspot.com

Be kind to yourself

Frances

― Frances, Saturday, 20 March 2004 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

What the hell is a "blog"?

I'll just google it up and...

Oh! My! That's quite graphic! I'm beginning to be aroused and...

LOOK! IT'S A HOOVER CRAFT! IT'S SCARING THE GREBES...!

*pant, pant, pant.* Ok. I'm ok now...

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Saturday, 20 March 2004 06:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Frances?

It is obvious to me that you are someone with extensive experience. (Matt told me)

It is also obvious that you and I (and Matt) have some "things in common" (except for Matt) *wink, wink, nod, nod*

I hope you hang around this forum for a while. This place is starting to mildew.

I remember the "Old Days", when the blissium brained boys from Ormskirk were marching across the countryside, mocking; mocking everything we hold dear; Ormskirk, of course; Grebes (God bless them); Antelopes (an antelope,properly tuned,is a joy forever). Mandrills...You name it and this crowd would tear it up like a pit bull with a hard-on.

It's settled down, now, more's the pity. It seems that some of the best (except for Matt, who is so terribly lonely he sits in the park and talks to pigeons) have found that they have lives other than posting to a stupid talk site, and have lost interest.

I hope you hang around, frances. I need someone to fuck with (other than Matt).

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 21 March 2004 07:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I hang around here to give your existence meaning. Beyond me you have no validity. Get used to it.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 22 March 2004 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

*drops trousers*

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 22 March 2004 05:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Ahem! We fixed the Applause sign, Mr. Clown. Three months ago.

― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 22 March 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

If you don't fix them they get terribly territorial. Always pissing 'oohs' and 'aaws' and bits of laugh track all over the place. It's quite tedious, so I'm glad to hear you decided to do the right thing. Plus, as we know there's a glut of them. People stuffing the wee Applause Signets into pillow casings and tossing them off bridges into the cold and lethal waters below. You did the right thing, Aimless.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 22 March 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this where I exit, left of stage?

Frances.

― Frances, Tuesday, 23 March 2004 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"Ahem! We fixed the Applause sign, Mr. Clown. Three months ago."

That particular gesture was not to elicit applause. I was thinking more of a scene from "Braveheart".

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 01:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this where I exit, left of stage?

Ok, Rex. Cue the bear.

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"Is this where I exit, left of stage?"

Why? I've not heard a flubbed line or a catcall...yet.

It's not like I'm your paramour or anything. I just know how it is. You see, whereas you are a woman trapped in a man's body, I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Granted, the facade is easier for me...

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Frances, I know it's un-traditional, but since the stairs on that side are still being cleaned, (after a little ursine 'accident'), I would suggest that, if you must go, you use the stage right exit.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, this is brilliant, this is. On the old Ask A Drunk I got savaged by a tiger, and now here I am, wrenched into a dozen bloodied lumps by an enraged, half-starved bear. Ain’t it enough to make you spit?

― Severed Head (the Cornish beauty spot) (Rex), Wednesday, 24 March 2004 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh OK then, just this once, I'll leave to the right, but only this once mind! As my car is parked right up next to the stage door.

― Frances, Wednesday, 24 March 2004 11:17 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

WS does not specify which way the exit has to be. I was in "A Winter's Tale" in last year's Ludlow Festival, and we did it with sound effects. Always got a laugh.
Have you heard the theory that Shakey wrote that because he had access to a (real) stage-bear from next door and wanted to use it?

― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Monday, 12 April 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Trained bears were a fairly common sight in Elizabethan London. Not only was bear-baiting popular, but dancing bears were a staple of the traveling entertainment circuit. Lo, how we have fallen, fallen from our high estate.

― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 12 April 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Indeed. All we had was SFX.

― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Saturday, 17 April 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I grew up with bears in the Sierras and they are stinky and have terrible table manners. They have been known, in campground raids, to drink beer which redeeems them a little.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 19 April 2004 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Does Yogi drink beer? And....oh, surely not.....not BooBoo?

― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Thursday, 22 April 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do you think they call him Boo Boo. He get's paralytic, bumps into things, falls over, and gives himself boo boos. That and how he makes boo boos on the floor whenever he feels like it. Squlid ursine dipso!

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 22 April 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

eight months pass...

I simply can't bear to see this thread languish so.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 00:20 (twenty years ago)

Alas...

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 02:30 (twenty years ago)

It appears there's only so much to be made of trannys and bears.

(A bear won't attack a naked tranny. They get confused.)

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 02:46 (twenty years ago)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bear&r=f

You sure about that, Zen?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 16:24 (twenty years ago)

Jeeze. It seems everyone knows about gay stuff but me.

Yogi and Boo Boo will never be the same to me now. Next I'll be hearing that Bugs Bunny wore those dresses off-camera.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 18:12 (twenty years ago)

Worse. HE WAS NAKED!!!

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 19:57 (twenty years ago)

I hadn't noticed that. I'm an "ear" man.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 22:36 (twenty years ago)

'ere, 'ere, me good man. Wot're you on about, then?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 23:33 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.