Is Cheese Smuggling the Answer?

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The hateful regime is cracking down. Soon we won't have any more except by breaking the law. Is this what it's come to?

― Otto Didakt (Hereward), Thursday, 25 March 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I call you out cheesemeister.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 25 March 2004 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry to say but.....

Sex is not the answer, Yes is the answer,

Sex is the question!

― Ðµdë §téè£, Thursday, 25 March 2004 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Bloody nation of wussies, scared of unpasteurized cheese. What next? Banning my annual live monkey brain gala? Limits on indoor fireworks displays? Infringing on my rights to drive naked? Damned children!

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 25 March 2004 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Cheese smuggling is never the answer. Cheese smuggling is illegal and therefore deeply, wholly, purely and perversely wrong.

Arguably, such illegal activities could lead to one's arrest, and consequently a loss of one's good reputation and of one's high standing in the community and create an irrevocable blot on the family escutcheon, making your parent's ill with shame and your sister flash her eyes at you in an accusatory manner as she shepards their broken-spirited, ashen-faced remnants from the courtroom, just after the judge has sternly pronounced sentence on your head and the bailiff has seized you up in chains and is about to lead you to your new life of ignominy and lack of middle class privilege and quite indifferent food.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 26 March 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Ðµdë §téè£ smuggles cheese...

IN HIS SHORTS!

HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha, HAH!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 26 March 2004 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Zen,

That should be sNuggles.

― Ðµdë §téè£, Friday, 26 March 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

sNuggles from the Care Bears porno?

― Michael White (Hereward), Sunday, 28 March 2004 05:27 (twenty-one years ago)

(Got some in my trunk. Who's up? Uhhm, mostly Edam, Brie and guaranteed Caerphilly. Hmm?)

― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

What you need is some Stilton, some Epoisses, and that charming little 'goat turd', a Crottin or better, a Cabecou.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

This is _guaranteed_ Caerphilly. Real thing, dude.

― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Thursday, 8 April 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Not be confused with the Caerphilly Guarantee and Trust and Dairy Insurance Co., Pontygwindy Road, Caerphilly, Mid Glamorgan,CF83 3SX. Charming, artistic people and you can insure your cows' udders for cheap.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 8 April 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

But that's an udder story.

― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Saturday, 10 April 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, tits another story.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 12 April 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I got done in Singapore for half a pound of extra-mature Stilton in condoms secreted in various bodily orifices. But a bloke in the airport asked me if I could take these through for him. I didn't realise what it was. I was young and naive. If one had burst I could have died.

― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Thursday, 22 April 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

And gone to heaven.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 22 April 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

But instead, here I am, festering in this God-forsaken hole in the ground they laughingly call a "cell" underneath Bedok police-station. Still. At least they allow me internet access. (Embassy swung that one. Gawd bless 'em.)

So, children, if you think cheese-smuggling is the answer, let me say from experience, No. [A big close-up, please.] It isn't.

[How was that take? In the can? Great. Can we check out this Raffles place now? Make-up! I've got lice in my hair. Would you mind.........? Thank you. Anybody got any cheese?]

― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Thursday, 22 April 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Gin Pahit, sir?

― anonymouswallah (Hereward), Thursday, 22 April 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

No, just a straight tonic with it please. And ice. No lemon.

― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Thursday, 22 April 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

See, you too can be a purist. No lemon, eh? It's funny, one of the myriad other things separating the Mother county and her whelps is that we always drink it with a slice of lime.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 22 April 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Dorien, who for the love of all that is holy would bother smuggling Edam?

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 24 April 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

-- Ðµdë §téè£

HAHAHAHAhahaha...HAH!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 25 April 2004 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

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