Planned Outrage

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Committing an outrage takes careful planning - or a natural gift. What outrages do you plan to commit in the coming days?

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 16 July 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I plan on mixing stripes and spots, whiskey and gin, cats and dogs, vituperative animus with lackadaisical whimsy, wearing a black dress to a friend's wedding and a white, piped collar tuxedo with ruffled shirt to his subsequent funeral where I will expound at great length on the subject of brevity being the soul of wit.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 16 July 2004 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I plan on being Unruly. This will occur next Monday at around 7pm, for approximately 10 minutes.

I don't want to overdo it.

― C J (C J), Friday, 16 July 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I intend to take seriously one of my Uncle Struan’s opinions. That should suffice to tear apart the very structure of reality.

Afterwards I shall relax by drinking malt stout from a sherry schooner, if such acts are still physically possible.

― Rex (Rex), Saturday, 17 July 2004 07:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I shall be muttering very rude words inder my breath. The words I shall be muttering to be determined via a series of charts. But still very rude.

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 17 July 2004 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I may well serve both Stilton and Brie on the same platter with sweet crackers (buttered, of course).
My place, 6 o'clock next Friday. RSVP, and please bring a bottle.

― The Cheesemeister, Wednesday, 21 July 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

El Marqueso! I do not find your selection an outrage except that Brie is an inferior cheese. Try, say, Explorateur, instead, or Brillat-Savarin. And add some complexity by adding a sheep's milk cheese, please.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i will be farting several hundred hospice patients. i only count the ones where my buttocks are actually pressed up against the patient's body, perhaps separated by a thin institutional sheet, but otherwise really hard by. it is scary how easy it is to get away with this. i could just as easily be feeding them the gaspipe, which in a very real sense i am.

out of pity, i sometimes brush their teeth, but too hard.

― hurley (hurley), Thursday, 22 July 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

also, i will begin pronouncing the word "menus" as if it rhymed with "penis." absurd waiters just take it.

― hurley (hurley), Thursday, 22 July 2004 03:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i will be farting several hundred hospice patients

This sounds painful. How do you transmogrify them all into gas?

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

chew well my son, chew well.

― hurley (hurley), Thursday, 22 July 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Father? Is that you?

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 22 July 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

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