Does anyone still know anything about "Blissium" or where to get it

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At last my chance for immortality.

As Lynskey so rightly remarks, we cannot and should not ignore this burning question - it must surely deserve a thread of its very own.

Answers on a postcard please.

― StillSimon (StillSimon), Thursday, 31 October 2002 21:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Blissium is an unstable trans-uranic element with a half life of only 25.3 picoseconds (0.0000000000253s). It can only be created artificially, through the input of huge amounts of energy to its semi-stable parent isotope, Dystopia.
Dystopia itself will eventually decay, over a period of many years, to the stable isotope Malaisium, giving off large quantities of negative radiation and Scru-uon particles in the process.

Blissium does not exist in nature.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 31 October 2002 21:46 (twenty-three years ago)

not wanting to be picky, but I am gradually coming to the conclusion that if enough people believe in it, maybe Blissium does exist. If a tree might not be there when nobody is looking at, so looking at it makes it exist, so believing in Blissium makes it exist...

In which case the obvious question is WHERE CAN I GET SOME BLISSIUM?, since it's clearly good stuff.

Nice wine this

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Saturday, 2 November 2002 14:11 (twenty-three years ago)

If "Blissium does not exist in nature.", what is that stuff growing in the bottom of my refrigerator? I ate some on a cracker. It tasted like blissium and I thought I saw Jesus leaving the bathroom. Now I'm worried. Should I have my teeth cleaned?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 3 November 2002 02:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes and no.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 4 November 2002 16:03 (twenty-three years ago)

http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=blissium

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 6 November 2002 00:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Zen: Are you still worrying about having your teeth cleaned?
If the answer is yes, then it wasn't genuine Blissium, and you can stop worrying, if it was, then you, errr, shouldn't be capable of worrying anyway. Ummm, I guess this message was a bit redundant.

*Saunters off, pretending to notice something far more interesting on the ceiling over there.....*
Tum te tum.

― Pete Andrews, Thursday, 7 November 2002 17:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Sue? (He wanders around the house looking under pillows) Sue? (He incessantly opens the front door and looks outside) Sue? (He wanders around, looking up at the trees) Sue? The 'Clown, without his beloved Sue...her hatpins...her derogatory remarks...is lost. The thread was blissium but he is lost...He wants to pay attention but...He can't. Even the bliss of blissium cannot distract him from his insane attraction to her. Who is she? A name (probably not her real name) on the 'net. A name...Sue. With hatpins. What could be more erotic than that? Where are you? Where are you Sue? I'll wander these threads forever in search of you. Off topic? I don't care. I'm almost healed now, and like Oliver Twist, I want more.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 8 November 2002 06:34 (twenty-three years ago)

If Blissium was dead, would we have to invent it? QED

― maryann, Sunday, 10 November 2002 00:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Blissium isn't dead, it's just sleeping.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 10 November 2002 02:53 (twenty-three years ago)

and I wish it wouldn't snore so loudly

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Sunday, 10 November 2002 10:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Googlism for: blissium

blissium is not the omnipotent panacea that you all clearly wish it to be
blissium is happy metal
blissium is heavily advertised on the radio in utah

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Sunday, 10 November 2002 20:49 (twenty-three years ago)

does blissium decline? and if so, how?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Sunday, 10 November 2002 22:13 (twenty-three years ago)

It has a half-life of about half the average human lifetime.

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 10 November 2002 22:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Blissium (irr. nom neuter); Blissium, Blissia, Blissiae, Blissiamus, Blissiatis, Blissmysole, Blissthishouse, Ablissonallyourhouses, Blissoff.

― Pete Andrews, Monday, 11 November 2002 16:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Can anyone think of similarities between blissium and the late Jimmy "Schnozzle" Durante?

― Rex (Rex), Monday, 11 November 2002 20:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Is this a sniffing question?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Monday, 11 November 2002 21:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Where the hell IS Mrs. Calabash, and did she ever have a "good night"?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 11 November 2002 23:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Will ever other post on this thread be a question?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 12 November 2002 03:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Did I mean "every" instead of "ever"?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 12 November 2002 03:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Well did you?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 12 November 2002 10:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Was that just an ungrammatical way of saying "well done, you"?

― Pete Andrews, Tuesday, 12 November 2002 10:40 (twenty-three years ago)

What, do you think i'm stupid?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 12 November 2002 11:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Isn't this all a bit reminiscent of that scene from Rozencrantz and Guildenstern?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 12 November 2002 14:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Which particular scene was that?

And was that the RSC stage production, or the film version that you had in mind?

― Pete Andrews@bham.ac.uk, Tuesday, 12 November 2002 15:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Is there a difference between the stage version and the film version?

― Celeste (Celeste), Tuesday, 12 November 2002 19:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Are you talking about a change to the dialogue or a more fundamental structural difference?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 12 November 2002 20:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Or both?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 12 November 2002 21:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Does anyone else think that she's talking about neither?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 02:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I admit to being a stupid American but it is obvious, even to me, that there is a difference between stage and film. One can watch film at home, in privacy. In a theater, one cannot sit naked, fondling a grebe. (Or is Ormskirk less Puritan these days?)

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 06:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Does that last post count as a question or has the whole thing been blown?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 13:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Celeste. Isn't the difference between the stage production and the film version obvious?

Lynskey. In what way could that last post of Zen's not count as a question?

Jarlr'mai. Would I impugn your intelligence?

― Pete Andrews, Wednesday, 13 November 2002 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I haven't seen a stage production of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, how is it different?

― Celeste (Celeste), Wednesday, 13 November 2002 22:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Its on a stage for one, does that count?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 14 November 2002 11:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Are you taking the piss?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 14 November 2002 13:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Who? Me?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 14 November 2002 14:18 (twenty-three years ago)

What on earth are you on about?

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 14 November 2002 14:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Isn't that a question you could have posed on any thread here?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Thursday, 14 November 2002 21:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Pete, are you trying to impose some sort of order to Ask A Drunk?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 14 November 2002 23:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Won't somebody please think of the children?

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 15 November 2002 00:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Whose children?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 15 November 2002 11:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Would I ever attempt to do that?

― Pete Andrews, Friday, 15 November 2002 12:31 (twenty-three years ago)

This thread is losing coherence, what would you never attempt to do, Pete?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 15 November 2002 13:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Dont you think its about time i joined the discussion?

― Robin (RJM), Friday, 15 November 2002 14:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Impose some order on AAD Lynskey, isn't that what you asked him about?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 15 November 2002 14:15 (twenty-three years ago)

When did you ask that?

― Robin (RJM), Friday, 15 November 2002 14:24 (twenty-three years ago)

A few lines above, I'd count exactly how many but can I be arsed?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 15 November 2002 15:39 (twenty-three years ago)

No?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 15 November 2002 16:10 (twenty-three years ago)

No what?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 15 November 2002 19:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Is anyone gonna put a stop to this silly, silly game?

― Robin (RJM), Friday, 15 November 2002 19:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 23 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Love in the Drew / Libby sense or love in the Nigel Kennedy / Aston Villa sense?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 14:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I apologize most sincerely and profusely as it seems it is I that has miss read your post……so does anyone want to call me a cock?

― Robin (RJM), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 14:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Did Nigel Kennedy play for Villa, how did he fiddle that one then?

― Robin (RJM), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 14:21 (twenty-three years ago)

He was mates with Gianluca Viola, I think he strung him along untill bowed to the pressure, takes the pizzicato really.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Aren't we doing the questions anymore?

― Celeste (Celeste), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 20:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Is it doomed to be an on-again off-again sort of an affair?

― Aimless, Tuesday, 19 November 2002 20:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Aren't the yall?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 21:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Or even, aren't they all?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 21:54 (twenty-three years ago)

If a tree falls on in the forest and kills a grebe, do I hear it? DO I? DO I?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 01:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I find it disheartning that the death of a grebe would be the subject of humor. Most grebes have an IQ that exceeds most humans.
Most planaria have IQs that exceed most humans. The participants of this list are smarter than planaria. The participants of this list are smarter than most humans. Therefore: LEAVE THE FUCKING GREBES ALONE!!!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 01:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Do people only ever read the last message before posting again?
Are we going to have any continuity in this thread?

― Celeste (Celeste), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 02:02 (twenty-three years ago)

I have been designated as keeper of the Grebes and you bloody well better understand that I take a job seriously. If any of you have a problem with Grebes, I suggest that you take it up with me, personaly. I'm waiting.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 02:03 (twenty-three years ago)

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 02:05 (twenty-three years ago)

"If a tree falls on in the forest and kills a grebe, do I hear it? DO I? DO I?" Lynskey
GOD!! You people piss me off!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 02:26 (twenty-three years ago)

"If a tree falls on in the forest and kills a grebe, do I hear it? DO I? DO I?" Lynskey
GOD!! You people piss me off! Completely corrupt syntax and no respect for Grebes.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 02:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Pardon me. I stutter when I'm drunk.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 02:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I was worrying about the mandrill in the tree, which you seem to be ignoring

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 08:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Do bears shit in the woods? Is the pope a catholic?

― Pete Andrews, Wednesday, 20 November 2002 09:21 (twenty-three years ago)

When bears fuck up - Hilarious new home video show featuring never seen before footage of everyones favorite 500lb omniverous mammals in embearassing situations. Ever seen a Grizzly walk into a tree? A Kodiak fall over at whilst dancing at a wedding? Polar bears that just can't stand up? Pandas (yes I know they're not bears) getting hit in the groin by kids playing cricket? All this and more on "When bears fuck up" - available on VHS, DVD (NTSC only), and encoded using a bizzare russian video codec on 20,000 Vinyl LPs.

When popes fuck up - see above replace bear references with papal ones

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 10:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Is it avaliable on DVD?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 14:25 (twenty-three years ago)

No, I was lying.

DVD (NTSC only)

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 14:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Right. We're settling this once and for all. We set up recordng equipment and wait for a tree to fall over. If needs must to do it we'll blow up the entire fucking forest.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 16:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I isn't easy, being green.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 19:23 (twenty-three years ago)

It isn't easy, being green.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 19:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, fuck it.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 19:30 (twenty-three years ago)

And whilst Mr. Clown fornicates with the concept of the colour green . . . .

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 21 November 2002 03:09 (twenty-two years ago)

It's better than nothing! (Oh, God, I can't believe I said that)

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 21 November 2002 04:16 (twenty-two years ago)

But Matt the recording equipment means there's something around to hear the tree falling.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 21 November 2002 09:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you planning a video in the series called "When fuckwits bare all"?

― Pete Andrews, Thursday, 21 November 2002 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Will the tree be drunk? What will be it's reason for falling down? Someone is sure to ask.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 21 November 2002 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

If a fuckwit falls over in a forest, is it available on DVD? Does the Pope shit in the woods? Do people actually read the title of the thread before fucking a grebe? I don't know! But guys!!! There's only a dozen of us here! If we can't keep from squabbling now, what's it gonna be like when the mandrills arrive?

― Pooster (pooster), Friday, 22 November 2002 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

If Lynskey falls down in the forest, do bears and other scavengers avoid the area?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 22 November 2002 08:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn right.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 22 November 2002 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

No, because the recording equpiment isn't sentient, and therefore not placed to comment on philosophical. It's only connection to consciousness is the potential of an audience, not the hard fact of one.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 25 November 2002 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

If a Buddhist falls in the forest, do the bears give a shit? And what is the sound of one buttock crapping?

― Pete Andrews, Monday, 25 November 2002 09:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm…I feel I must comment.

If a solitary deaf man screams, does he make a sound?

Well, he is sentient to the action, and he sentient to the fact that a consequence should occur. However, he is not sentient to the actual consequence, so does the consequence occur?

The answer depends on the frame of sentient or non-sentient reference chosen, for the following reasoning. Obviously the consequence (lets call it a) would not appear to occur in his frame of reference because he is deaf, but would appear to occur in the frame of reference of a non-deaf person that might happen to be standing next to him. Is this a paradox as a can both appear to exist and not exist? No, it is simply a linguistic overlap, which forces us into the position of commenting on multiple first persons point of views from the third person. Impossible.

The question being asked is really is “what is occurrence?”, rather than “does it occur?”.

My answer would be:

If a consequence does happen and is realized or observed by its initiator or an observer then the consequence exists

If a consequence does happen but is not realized by its initiator or observer, but is realized from our point of view by an infinity of non-sentient points. Then the consequence exists.

If a consequence does happen but is not realized or obserbed by any sentient or non-sentient point. Then the consequence still exists purely because it is a consequence by its very nature.

Well that’s what I think anyway!

― Robin (RJM), Monday, 25 November 2002 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I would like to, firstly and foremostly, congratulate Robin on his take on life .... and I would like to apologise for my own lacklustre performance over the past few weeks. I would like to congratulate Robin because he found time out to tell it how it is .... I, however, have been chipping in with not-very-worthwhile additions. I hope you will forgive me, but I have had a very heavy deadline hanging over my head for what seems like forever, and the only way I could escape from it was to peck at various threads of AAD, like a hungry and possibly manic peewit. I hope to rise to your amalgamated grandeur at some point soon, but in the meantime, I ask your forgiveness.... using one's brain 24/7 is a sure-fire way to have little to say when you arrive at AAD, expecting mere folderol, and getting serious issues that have to be addressed. I hope the near-miss in the Hawker jets over the village fête didn't piss you off too much. Thankfully, from what I hear, no-one was injured.

xxx Jon

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 25 November 2002 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I heard it killed a grebe, did anyone hear it die?

― Robin (RJM), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I love grebes, me. Great crests.

― Pooster (pooster), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Did anyone salvage the body-parts?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 06:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Hsssst! Mr. Clown. If you can keep mum about it a moment, I think I can answer that question in a most satisfactory way. [Opens front of coat] Feast your saucer eyes, me lad! Grebe parts aplenty and to spare. Only a bit worse for wear. And... back your off there, Mr. Grabbyhands! The gizzard's mine!

― Aimless, Wednesday, 27 November 2002 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the most erotic thing I have ever seen or ever will see

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

You say that about everything.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 28 November 2002 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Just a second! Before you run off with the remains of that grey market Grebe there Aimless. I don't ever remember seeing a Grebe with feet that size, and surely they should be webbed?
Here, since when did a Grebe have an appendix, or a 5 pound sclerotic liver? Or a tattoo on its, well, whatever bit that is.

Now I come to think about it, I've seen a tattoo like that before.
Rex? Rex!!!

Hey! Come back here right now.......

― Pete Andrews, Thursday, 28 November 2002 09:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I think that it is key here that we distinguish betweeen grebes and marshwiggles. The latter are famous of course as the possessors of the sexual secrets of the universe, whilst the former are simply rather dull birds. There are one or two key ways of telling the difference in the dim light of one's chosen night spot...

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Sunday, 1 December 2002 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Grebes are not dull. You are allowing yourself to be misled by their glassy eyes.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 1 December 2002 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought that was just their excitement, or possibly an excess of E ( as I believe they do in young persons' clubs these days)

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 22:29 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

Ahh yes, the memories of your love affair.

― The new Sean M. Hall (Piano Man), Sunday, 19 January 2003 06:40 (twenty-two years ago)

four months pass...

Anyone got any Blissium?

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 22 May 2003 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

If you google the word 'Blissium', you get this interesting information :

'To get Blissium call 800-511-1785, the ordering clerk said it has catnip and passion flower in it and also some other stuff which they will be more than happy to share with you. They offer it on a risk free trial. Would like to know if it has worked for anyone. Sounds to good to be true."

Catnip and passion flower?????

― C J (C J), Friday, 23 May 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

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