I was pondering the story of the Three Kings (aka 'Wise Men of the East') who gave the infant Jesus a set of mostly inappropriate gifts, thereby starting the Christmas custom of milling about in shopping malls. It seems to me that a better set of gifts might have been grebes, blissium and hatpins, thereby providing the baby Jesus with the boons of companionship, enlightenment and cheap entertainment, respectively.
What other improvments to the Christmas story should be contemplated?
― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 24 December 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)
I should think that uselful gifts would be of more use than symbolic ones and what Joe and Mary and son really needed that night was a goddamn hotel room. Wise men, my foot! Additionally, since Giuseppe hadn't really 'got any' from his beloved, and since she was out of commission anyway, they could have brought him some courtesans to take some of the sting out of being God's only begotten's stepfather.
― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 27 December 2004 03:41 (twenty-one years ago)
You're becoming as corrupt as Aimless or I or that really, really horrible person...Dude Steel.
It's not too late for salvation!
Get on your knees! Pray!
"Dear Lord. Could I have a young whore to pleasure me for a week or two before I meet you? Could I bring her to heaven with me? Will Michael White be there? Will there be cat hair on my pancakes? Was Jesus really a bastard or is that just bullshit? Help me, Lord. Give me guidence. Show me the way. (Where did I put those nettles, I simply MUST whip myself more often) I guess you know, Lord, I'm just kidding. Satan stopped by the other day and we got roaring drunk. We talked about you. Really. He called you "pompous". He's a riot! He sat there, reeking of brimstone, and bitched at me for smoking cigarettes!
Well...Thank you Lord. Thank you for all the pussy and booze and all that stuff that has made my life so worthwhile.
Ahmen"
― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 27 December 2004 05:23 (twenty-one years ago)
Sue, my love, where are you?
― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 27 December 2004 05:37 (twenty-one years ago)
― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 27 December 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)
When we moved from Lusenet to here, Sue fell off of the wagon and I think the wolves ate her.
Speaking of missing persons...I think Matt's dead. If he's not dead, he really, really needs a bath.
Rex is dead, you know. Before he died, he became a Muslim and he's in heaven with those virgin whores (is that an oxymoron?) and wishing that he had sinned more often.
Dude Steel is still alive. His wife beats him...mercylessley...and he enjoys it!
Jeeze...I whish I cud spel.
― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 28 December 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)