CJ: I'm sorry.

Forsake CJ? Were you mad, man (or madman)? Forsake all others, but forsake not CJ. They taught us that in kindergarten. But I suppose we must forgive you, after your making reasonable efforts at atonement, of course - goes without saying.

We shall have to convene a Scythian committee and drink over - no, think over - your penance.

I convene this meeting. First order of business: I'm the chair and I'm not buying the first round. What shall we order?

Shall we put it to a vote? The order that is....

I cast my vote for a very dark beer as a starter round soon followed by something clear with a high alcohol content.

As for who is buying, money is no object in matters such as these and CJ drinks free for the rest of the year at the very least!

Pooster buys. It goes without saying.

Ah, drinks. I knew we'd strayed off topic for too long.

I say we rush headlong into the arms of tequila and get it over with.

Might as well. Right then comrades, on three....

Three.

One tequila,

Two tequila,

Three tequila,

Floor......

How many times do I need to remind you, еdë? You must take the stopper out of your hollow leg when drinking straight tequilla. This creates a sump where it may accumulate in sufficient quantities to extend your bender beyond a mere three fifths - all of which we can charge to Pooster's tab.

еdë... еdë...?

Could one of you lend me a hand? еdë can't seem to roll himself as far as the ditch without some assistance.

Let's roll him out of the hallway, Aimless, so we can bowl these grapefruits at the empty bottles.

On closer inspection these don't seem to be grapefruit.

heee heeee heeee heeeee hic

Thers two aimlessessesssss (giggle) an four michlea... micehalaa, micale....four of that White guy (urp) 'scuse me ladies..... anybody familiar with this place cause I seems to have lost my way.... I was going to ...ummmm..... well I was sorta ummmmmmm..... damn it's thirsty in here......why's this bar so low to the ground and curved on top like a baseboard????? it sure is thirsty in here aint it..... my tongue tastes like someone has been stepping on it with muddy shoes.....is the bartender on break tonight or WHAT!!!!!! I said it sure is awfully thirsty in here, or is it just me me mee mmeeeeee mmmmmeeeeeeeeee hee hee heeeeeeeee yaaaaaaawwwwwnnnnnn

Let's wait a bit, Michael. When he reaches the catatonic stage he'll be easier to roll.

or pose in an undignified manner

it's just a thought

Noted. If his catatonia permits, this would be just the ticket. If he's stiff as a Boston bluestocking, I say fuck it and let's roll him in the ditch. Not grapefruit? I thought they tasted queer.

Zzxxxxxxxnxnxxzzzz, zzzzzzzxxxxxzxzxxxzzzzzzz (phfffft) grumble mumble snorft ixnxiscxx red cannon play zzzzznxxxzxnmxxxzzzzzz, zzzzz, zzzzz ,zzzzz, zzzzz, zzzzz, zzzzz ,zzz, zzzzzzzzzz.......

does the pooster even bother to aim anymore??

Look: I'll buy whatever it is that you need. Just let me know if I'm in, or if I have to look in at your window, Katebushlike, and sober.

I mean, I don't blame you. I've been away for a very long time now. So much so that just one or two cans of Faxe 10% will do me for an entire evening, if not the entire week.

Oh my dearie me. I could tell you some stories. Would you believe that alcohol is a CONTROLLED substance in Nova Scotia!???? Nova Scotia!!! The place where bloody Scots pullulate! (Supposedly - although the 'Scots' over here are very like the 'Irish' in Chicago: pretty much innocent of anything to do with the auld country whatsoever. I was once asked by a Chicagoan 'Irishman' if I was from the "old country". He based his guess on my Frodshamite/Cheltonian accent, obviously. I answered haughtily: I'm from AN old country, but not the one you're thinking of. Ha ha.)

Anyway, back to the evils of the Nova Scotia government: All the offies are not only regulated but OWNED by the province. Which means not only a monopoly, but also unimaginative and bargain-basement point-of-sale promotional displays.

Oh, sod this. I was going to write a huge diatribe... but they might be reading this... and THAT's how they control us. That's why Canadians are so damn nice.

Drink Canada Dry? I don't think so.

What?

I'm going to sign off again and stay drunk. This is too weird.

Grebes, mandrells, blissium, bad spelling...I could handle all of that. This shit is freaking me out.

BTY: I LOVE Canadians. I'd like to fuck one, either sex...No bears though...I'm not a pervert. I might consider a passing relationship with a moose. Of course it would have to have manners. I don't think I could tolerate a rude moose.

Oh. And no lumberjacks either. Anyone who sleeps with a chainesaw is not welcome in MY bed.

You forgot to mention beavers in your statement on Canadian objects of desire. However, since we are speaking English (mostly), can a beaver be anything but female? Nevertheless, it is our damned buck-toothed rodent of national pride, since the Mouse (lewd or otherwise) has been claimed by the Swedes, and Bears reserved for Russians. Do reconsider those lumberjacks though, who are a good bet for sex. It is runoured they take their chainsaws to bed to use as vibrators (manly, yes?), and might welcome a change.

Oh dearie me I am thinking, that silly mouse up above should have been a moose. There, much better and thank you for listening.

Beavers...

Almost forgot about them...

I love them...Those large aquatic rodents too.