Zen Clown, Prattler Emeritus

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I fired off an email to Zen Clown last Monday. I fear it may be caught in the toils of some overly zealous spam filter, or quite possibly Zen Clown has forgotten how to read in the past few days.

It is not inconceivable, when you consider the trajectory of his recent Guiness-induced stupor and graph it forward. I used one logartihmic axis on mine (hint: it wasn't the time axis), so as to be able to use a straightedge to draw the line. However, leaving all that aside...

Mr. Clown, if by chance you wander by here on a lucid day, know that the lesser arcana of Aimless's identity ought to be lurking in your In-Box. There is a 750 ml bottle of Jameson's attached to it as a WSK format file.

(Shhh. You and I know there is no such thing, but Zen doesn't.)

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 29 April 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

Oh, Lord, Mr. Less.

I DID get your missive and I DID type a response but it's not in my "sent" folder so I don't know what happened.

I have been drinking Australian wine and having marsupial dreams.

I'll try to fetch up a worthy response for you. It may be in "drafts". I remember spending some time trying not to be too stupid.

Shit...Aimless...After all these years, it would be silly of me to try to "put on airs" around you.

Oh, my. I'm having trouble with linear thought...

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Saturday, 30 April 2005 01:23 (twenty years ago)

If anyone is interested, Aimless and Zen Clown finally DID manage to communicate.
However, Zen, it seems, was drunk and obnoxious and Aimless, who had just stubbed his toe, fallen down and had his hand stepped on while attempting to crawl home was in no mood to suffer fools.
Their inevitable conflict evolved into a physical confrontation in the parking lot of a large shopping mall in Salt Lake City.
They are hurling small stones at each other while hiding behind cars.
The security guards came out to Put a stop to it but when they saw those Books of Mormon duct-taped to the combatant's sensitive areas, they decided not to interfere.

― Off-forum Announcer (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 03:16 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

Can you get liquor in Salt Lake City?

― MSW (MSW), Friday, 3 June 2005 12:29 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

The best way to procure alcohol in Salt Lake City is to start with a supply of raisins and an ex-convict.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 18 June 2005 03:46 (nineteen years ago)

Mormon liquor is fermented in a large cavern in recycled bath tubs.

The cavern, excavated from solid stone by resurected Egyptian slaves, also has file cabinets containing the names of tens of thousands of families whose records have been altered by historians blitzed on raisin jack so that they will believe that they are directly or indirectly descended from someone named "Moron" (sp?) (Na...close enough)

― Horseass, Saturday, 18 June 2005 23:32 (nineteen years ago)

If those bath tubs continue to be used for dual purposes, I am happy to abide by Utah's prohibition rules.

I was in Minneapolis a few years ago and stayed up till 1:00am in my hotel room just to hear the mini-bar being locked remotely to abide by the no-liquor-sold past 1am law. I found it incredibly funny and laughed myself to sleep.

― MSW (MSW), Monday, 20 June 2005 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

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