Twisted Old Proverbs

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Does every silver lining have a cloud around it?

― Horseass, Wednesday, 1 June 2005 02:47 (nineteen years ago)

On this side the grass is brown and sere.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

An old broom isn't worth shit.

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

A bird in hand can leave a mess behind

― MSW (MSW), Wednesday, 1 June 2005 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him think.

― Horseass, Wednesday, 1 June 2005 22:37 (nineteen years ago)

I once covered Bill Wyman with glue, then threw him in some moss.

This wasn't to prove any aphoristic point, I just hate Bill Wyman.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 2 June 2005 09:01 (nineteen years ago)

A bush in the hand is worth two in the bird.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 2 June 2005 14:39 (nineteen years ago)

Birds have two bushes?

― C J (C J), Thursday, 2 June 2005 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

Depends on the nipples, doesn't it?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 2 June 2005 15:36 (nineteen years ago)

Beating a dead horse makes the meat tender - a French proverb apparently

― MSW (MSW), Thursday, 2 June 2005 18:22 (nineteen years ago)

This thread appeals to my warped bits, so I will be damned to let it die here.

Snore before you sleep (inspired by look before you leap)

― MSW (MSW), Friday, 3 June 2005 12:23 (nineteen years ago)

"You reap what you sow."

I'm broadcasting booze and broads in all my fields.

― Horseass, Saturday, 4 June 2005 01:49 (nineteen years ago)

I hate Matt Fallaize.

― Bill Wyman, Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:19 (nineteen years ago)

You can't judge a book by its cover but you can judge a cookbook by the number of dead bodies out back.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:34 (nineteen years ago)

A stitch in time saves you from getting a really bad infection and having a really nasty looking scar when the healing process is finished.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

Why buy the cow when for only $2.00 you can buy a gallon of milk that will most likely end up in the back of the refrigerator and spoil before you ever get around to opening it because you are addicted to Mountain Dew and never drink milk anyway.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

The pen is mightier than the sword but a vagina beats anything you've ever seen.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:40 (nineteen years ago)

Waste not want to be known as that crazy recluse that never throws ANYTHING away and had 37 cats in the house when you died.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

There's a pot of gold at the end of the Rainbow vacuum cleaner salesman pyramid scheme.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear a fool than to be a deaf mute.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Saturday, 4 June 2005 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

The pot calling the kettle lilly-white

― MSW (MSW), Monday, 6 June 2005 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

The early bird gets worms

― M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:30 (nineteen years ago)

"Two birds tied together have four wings, but they cannot fly,"

(They are, however, fun to watch.)

― Horseass, Monday, 6 June 2005 22:11 (nineteen years ago)

Never book a gifted horse for a month.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 02:32 (nineteen years ago)

Don't put all your eggs in one basketball.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 02:43 (nineteen years ago)

Asses to asses, butts to butts.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 02:48 (nineteen years ago)

You can't see the florist for the trees.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 02:51 (nineteen years ago)

"A stitch in time saves nine."

Nine's gratitude remains unmanifested. Ungrateful bastard.

― Horseass, Tuesday, 7 June 2005 02:54 (nineteen years ago)

Hey, Mom?

Dude's snorting nutmeg again...

― Horseass, Tuesday, 7 June 2005 02:59 (nineteen years ago)

Beggars can't be chosen

― MSW (MSW), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 12:52 (nineteen years ago)

A penny saved goes to the tax man.

― MSW (MSW), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

Who are Bill Wyman and Matt Fallaize, and why are they so hated? I am just a kinder and gentler person for feeling no hate towards either?

― MSW (MSW), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 13:04 (nineteen years ago)

Absinthe makes the heart beat wander

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

Be careful what you fish for, you might just catch it.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 00:30 (nineteen years ago)

Out of the frying pan and into a whole wheat bun smothered with tartar sauce.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 00:33 (nineteen years ago)

Still waters run deep and are the best to sink a body wearing concrete block for shoes.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 00:35 (nineteen years ago)

To err is human but to forgive is highly unlikely.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 01:03 (nineteen years ago)

In a way we're all Bill Wyman and Matt Fallaize.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 07:56 (nineteen years ago)

No way! Even CJ? Her posts always make me laugh.

― MSW (MSW), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 12:18 (nineteen years ago)

Bill Wyman and Matt Fallaize have several things in common:
They both love fine food and wine; they both love music...
And they both have propositioned CJ and been rejected.

(Wyman, feeling smug in his fame, attempted playing pattyfingers on her bottom and lost sight in his left eye for a week.)

― Pungent Pitts, Thursday, 9 June 2005 02:50 (nineteen years ago)

So, this was more than a proposition. Pattyfingers on buttocks is downrightanddirty foreplay.

What Bill and Matt erected
On CJ they subjected.
She swiftly and promptly rejected,
Leaving Matt all dejected
And Bill, blind and trajected.

― MSW (MSW), Thursday, 9 June 2005 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

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