Bible Trivia Quiz!

The bible is the holy book of the dead I think

How many wise men came from the east?

About as many as there are NBA players from the Ivy League.

Since initiating this post, I have done research and now have a trivial question. To wit:

How does the jawbone of an ass figure into the text of the Bible? Extra points if you name the ass.

It must be Balam's ass

A talking ass???, now there one hell of a thread!!

Samsung was a long haired Korean-Israeli with a bad attidtude, right?

Was that the jawbone of an ass or the ass bone of a jaw?

*Meh scratches head*

Jawbone...Ass...

This reminds me of some talk show host somewhere in Israel. It was a long time ago and they didn't have television so people had to sit around this mound thing. I guess times were tough in those days. Either that or the bastards were too cheap to bring their own wine. Oh. Silly me. They were Jews. Of course they were schnorrers.
Actualy, it wasn't really a talk show, it was more like stand-up. This guy would say the most outragious shit and people would sit there, probably with slobber dripping on their chests, nodding their heads and partaking of the free wine.
This "speaker", I can't remember his name, apparantly pissed some powerful people off and was "banned from the stage". He was crucified or condemed to appear in Cleveland or Ormskirk or do a groundhog thing...I can't recall...
Anyway...There was this guy named Paul, a perverted egomaniac, who went around saying "I am a desciple of 'What's His Name', I carry THE WORD. I say unto you we should be ashamed to be human and burn the library at Alexandera because it contains knowledge and knowledge is not good because if you had any fucking intelligence you would not listen to me."

Now I remember...Jesus was his name. He went off somewhere to prepare a place for us, kinda like a spiritual Martha Stewart.

He's pretty much kept to himself for the last couple of thousand years but his mom shows up every now and then on foggy windows and grilled cheese sandwiches.

Bible trivia:

I guess my favorite story is about Lot. If you want the whole story, you'll have to read the Book. God sent him to the mountains before He destroyed the city. Lot and his wife and his two girls trecked across the desert. (Deserts were very popular in those days.)
Lot's wife met an unfortunate bemise, (I won't elaborate on this...It's too fucking silly.)
Anyway...with his wife out of the way...Lot and the girls went into a cave, got drunk, and fucked their brains out.

My second favorite story is about that pervert gathering foreskins.

I LOVE the Bible. It's really nasty. De Sade is an amateur.

I'm going to sit on Lot's porch one day and shoot the breeze. Then he'll tell me to get the fuck off his car, at which point I will masturbate very loudly and suspiciously into his yawning face.
That'll learn im.

Imagine the headlines: LOT RETURNS TO GET FACIAL FROM NOISY BREEZE SHOOTER SUSPECTED OF SELF-PLEASURE

PROVIDES OWN SALT

Provides own tequila,ice and a slice

I like that idea, Geoffrey. Maybe there was someone else fleeing the destrucion whose wife looked back and was turned into a vat of tequila, another whose wife was turned into a pile of shot glasses, and a third whose wife was turned into limes, a knife and a cutting board, and the three guys all looked at each other, shrugged, and got plowed.

Did these guys have their daughters with them?

If we could edit the Bible, perhaps we could add a little more perverted sex.

(How would you do That?)

Well...Ah...Hm...I...

Oh rats! I'm not peverse enough to top the peversity of the Bible.

*note to self: check spelling before posting.*

The place is called Pever City, Zen.