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This space intentionally left blank for various yet consequential posts, in order not to piss off those people who have spent much time and ingested much blissium with the intent of flicking the ear of mankind's experience.

― Pooster (pooster), Saturday, 23 November 2002 00:15 (twenty-three years ago)

OK, I'll start. I've just discovered that you can insert a moist cotton bud in the outside corner of your eye, and, simply by blinking, you can pretend to be conducting an orchestra. You can also insert a Philips screwdriver all the way into your nasal cavity without any deleterious effects. Even though it might look nasty to onlookers.

― Pooster (pooster), Saturday, 23 November 2002 00:41 (twenty-three years ago)

People in glass houses have terrible trouble with insulating and general heating issues.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Saturday, 23 November 2002 18:36 (twenty-three years ago)

People in glass houses shouldn't wank with the lights on.

― Pooster (pooster), Saturday, 23 November 2002 20:41 (twenty-three years ago)

I once knew a fellow who used to enjoy inserting a screwdriver into his nose. One evening he felt a little "click" like one feels when one finally finds one of those little screws when one is attempting to adjust one's headlights on one's car. He turned his screwdriver to the right and was rewarded with excrutiating pain. After enjoying that for some moments, he turned the tool to the left several turns until his left eyeball became unfocused and loose in the socket. He screwed to the right until he felt the pain again and backed off two turns. Now, he advocates that nasal screwing be attempted only by trained personell. He has since engaged the services of an experienced nostril fucker and was spared any permanent personal injury that he might have been subject to had he continued to experiment on his own.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Saturday, 23 November 2002 21:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I have only just discovered what a 'star-gazy pie' is. I nominate it as the official dish of Ask A Drunk... but only if it is prepared by a particularly slatternly fishwife in the advanced stages of inebriation.

― Aimless, Saturday, 23 November 2002 21:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Deary me, deary, deary, deary me. Oi spent the past ever-such-a-long-toime making you up a delicious text-art-Stargazey-Pie, Mister Aimless. But then Oi realised, lawks-a-mercy-bless-you-moi-lovver, Oi's gone and forgotten that the forum we be usin' bain't be monotype! And all moi blessed 'andicraft come to naught! So Oi ate it moiself. Ois 'n 'eds 'n all. *Beeuuuurph!*

― Elsie McKipper (pooster), Sunday, 24 November 2002 04:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Do people live in glass houses any more? Did they ever live in glass houses? Given that plate glass wasn't of a really useable size until Pilkingtons (not that far away from Ormskirk, being St Helens and all) invented 'float glass' during the 50s, I can't really see that anyone could possibly have lived in a glass house prior to that.

If anybody recalls living in a glass house at any time in the reliveable past, please feel free to email me. For my money, the only people who might even consider living in glass houses are illegal immigrants. God knows, I have three living in my downpipe at this very moment.

― Pooster (pooster), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 01:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I want to start a band consisting of just a drummer and a guitarist called "Facts" just for the joke about their being no bassist in Facts.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 17:05 (twenty-three years ago)

The Pilks factory is in Burscough/Lathom... much nearer to Ormskirk than St Helens

― Celeste (Celeste), Wednesday, 27 November 2002 17:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I want to withold cigarettes from Porl until he burns a building down, tutting and saying "there's no smoke without fire"

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 28 November 2002 00:14 (twenty-three years ago)

As much as I hate to link to the old ask a drunk, if you look at the photo taken from the end of my road and look 1/3 of the way in from the left margin, whey hey, its Pilk’ees.

Pilk'ees

― Robin (RJM), Thursday, 28 November 2002 10:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry, its here!

Pilk'ees

― Robin (RJM), Thursday, 28 November 2002 10:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I can see a Mexican stand-off with Porl saying "there's no fire without smoke"

― Pooster (pooster), Sunday, 1 December 2002 01:14 (twenty-three years ago)

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