I know the Messiah

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And I might put a good word in for you heathens, if you're really, really nice to me.

I met the Messiah in, of all places, a psychiatry ward that I was "working" in. To be perfectly frank, I was somewhat disappointed. I expected someone a little spunkier. He was quite overweight and he smelt like unwashed flesh. He collected snippets of people's hair in an old baked bean can. He also chained smoked. I didn't tell him I was disappointed for fear he would smote me. He took to calling me Mary and asked me on a date.

I couldn't fathom what he was doing there, I suggested that there may be other places that would be a more appropriate hang out for JC. He was happy were he was for the time being, but assured me the end was nigh and it was time to repent.

Tell me about any dead historical figures you may have come across in your travels. Were they all they were cracked up to be, or did they leave you thinking 'Meh'?

― Anna. (Anna.), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 13:40 (nineteen years ago)

I wrote about this once before on a more conventional forum, but I once met Michael the Archangel, as he was pottering around a college coffee shop. He and I had a good talk. He said he was just doing a bit of advance work for Jesus, prior to the End of the World.

He gave me a Bible. I sold it a short time later. I got a pretty lousy price for it, especially when you consider who gave it to me - but Bibles are a drug on the market, as they used to say, so I suppose I was lucky to get anything for it.

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

I met a girl named Angel once. Hers was not an apt name.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

I am always in close contact with St. Lucifer. Most days I find him sitting annoyingly on my left shoulder, like a gnat. His eyes do glow red, but I have never been able to spot the forked tongue or the horns. For such a little guy, he can certainly talk loudly, in a most commanding voice too. He hates it when I eat garlic. No wait...that was Count somebody.

― MSW (MSW), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 16:36 (nineteen years ago)

Blah?

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 19:14 (nineteen years ago)

these chains the Messiah was smoking, are they difficult to light??

― Geoffrey Judge ( Ivor Feltersnatch), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 07:54 (nineteen years ago)

They ain't the kind that you can see.

― Glumdalclitch, Tuesday, 6 September 2005 02:02 (nineteen years ago)

(Stay out of this, Zen.)

Ok.

― Zen Clown, Tuesday, 6 September 2005 07:49 (nineteen years ago)

As easy as that? Who else believes this is too good to be true?

― MSW (MSW), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

(As the Clown's ego, or alter-ego, I take offense at the last remark. If I could get him sober enough to get out of his chair, I would have him slap you with a fish.)

― Zen Clown, Tuesday, 6 September 2005 18:47 (nineteen years ago)

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