Popes death

The amount of barium required to kill a pope differes according to his relative level of spiritual enlightenment but as a general rule, if you drop a couple of tons on his head, even the most pious of pontiffs kicks the bucket.

He is, as you suggested, buried in Peters Street, under a traffic barrier next to Jimmy Hoffa. The barrier is sited conveniently near a car park where you can get your stub validated - but only if you buy a toe bone, dried ear, femur or other papal relic worth at least 2000 lira (9 cents) when you visit. However, it is far more convenient to buy your pope-pieces on ebay and have them delivered.

I took my crippled brother to Rome once, he was on crutches. He was of the faithful and thought that if we could get an audience, perhaps the Pope could heal him.
We did manage to meet with the Pope and the Pope touched my brother's head and said "THROW DOWN THOSE CRUTCHES!"
My brother cast off his crutches...He fell on his ass.
Now...He's not only crippled...He has a lisp, too.

We did enjoy seeing the Sistine Chapel. The dirty pictures on the ceiling amused us.
In fact, we were quite sexualy aroused and we engaged the services of a Roman whore. (I didn't ask but I imagine that she was Catholic. JEWISH whores are the best but when in Rome...)

Well...I fornicated while my brother watched. He can't actively fornicate.

He's crippled you know.

Lira is no longer legal tender in Rome. Euros and American dollars are all that is accepted. You risk being spat on when you offer US dollars, but they are still accepted.

A Roman whore is neither Jewish or Catholic, but Pagan.

I had a bad experience with a Pagan whore once. She had to dance naked around a fire to get 'in the mood'.
Not only did I have to replace the carpet but I can never go to that hotel again.