AAD

Are you drunk?

This forum is full of imposters.

An imposter I dare say. Neither it's spelling nor it's grammar meets our high standards, the bar on which is not too high off the ground (easier for those who have resorted to crawling home on all fours).

"crawling home on all fours"

I can relate to that.

I was crawling home once and someone stood on ny hands and urinated on me. I didn't look up. That would have been foolish.

Sometimes it is best to curtail one's curiosity.

Especially when being pissed upon.

Imposter, no. Not-as-drunk, shamefully yes. I shall drag my gramar and spelloong across the floor in the hopes of tarnishing them. I'm a lonely soul on a search for answers. I onced listened to a heavily boozed man who told me his name was Satan. I commented on his parents, and later he explained why he doesn't drink water. I can't remember why, but it seemed like a valid argument at the time. Later he left me to "water the pedestrians" or something.

"I'm a lonely soul on a search for answers."

I hope you aren't seeking those answers here, child. This forum is almost all total bullshit.

Please don't be offended by me calling you 'child'.

When one attains my age, one can say any damn thing that comes into one's mind...

What was the question?

There are no questions; only answers.

When you reach the point where you say any damned thing and not feel any need to apologise for it, you will know you are old.

With tires parked on every curb, I will never know why some people have a need to piss on some poor crawling drunk.

They say "Wisdom comes with age."

In my case, Age came alone.

"Wisdom comes with age"

Heavy price to pay, if you want my opinion. If you do want it please send a self addressed envelope

I agree. Who needs wisdom when you are old? I'd rather get old without the heavy price of wisdom hanging around my neck, thank you. Old could be something we look forward to - a time for frolic and foolishness.

My gawd, I think I just had an epiphany!

I'm waiting for an epifanny.

I bad one once.

I took a warm shower and a vallium and it went away.

Is an Epi Fanny the opposite of an Epi Pen?

I don't think 'opposite' is apposite.

"This forum is almost all total bullshit."

Whoah there Nelly! I never said I was looking for the *correct* answers. A great man once said that two disproved hypotheses are
better than one in formulation. Likewise, two drunks in a Lada may be better than a sober with a bucket on his head.

Are you making fun of people who wear buckets on their heads?

I think I have been offended.

As soon as I get this damn bail from under my chin, I'll meet you outside.

Is a "bail" the handle of a bucket, worn like a chin-strap?

It might be a "bale", I'm not sure, but yes, it is worn under the chin.

Wearing a bucket goes back to Medieval times when not all knights could afford proper armor. I suppose it was somewhat embarrassing because we never hear of "Knights in shining buckets."

wisdom comes with a full bottle of scotch and a fat broad...and why should we send u an envelope when we could jst make u email us...

"Wisdom comes with age"
Heavy price to pay, if you want my opinion. If you do want it please send a self addressed envelope

-- Geoffrey Judge (geoff.judg...), September 21st, 2005

Full bottle of scoth and a fat broad???
Saddam, have you been spying in my house??
Now I recognise you, you are the driver who shovelled me in through the front door on Friday.