why do u not take my cab?

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i am saddam the cab driver...i am the guy everyone calls when u are too far wasted to drive urself home or make ur way home...lately i havent been getting any calls...why u not take my cab!!

― Saddam the cab driver, Thursday, 15 December 2005 19:42 (nineteen years ago)

We forgot the phone number?

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 15 December 2005 19:48 (nineteen years ago)

have the bar tender call?? or are you just being too good for me and getting a designated driver?? or if no bar tender...check the business card i left in ur wallet a week ago!

― Saddam the cab driver, Thursday, 15 December 2005 19:59 (nineteen years ago)

I yeah, I took that out, and replaced it with a condom. I figured I would need the condom more.

― ((Censored)) ((Censored)), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:27 (nineteen years ago)

how bout i make my business card on a condom box..would that help?

― Saddam the cab driver, Friday, 16 December 2005 04:29 (nineteen years ago)

That didn't help me one bit. I don't take the whole box with me, just one single condom.

― ((Censored)) ((Censored)), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:56 (nineteen years ago)

And taking just one was optimistic.

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 01:09 (nineteen years ago)

I've given this question due consideration and suspect that I haven't taken your "cab" as I have no idea as to where you actually live. I am distrustful as to the exorbitant pricing of hydrofoils/hot-air balloons/subterranean mining devices, particularly as I am not entirely sure as to whether or not you'll have a problem going "south of the river", particularly "at this time of night guv'nor". Largely as you'll be wondering as to whether or not "I'm jack"

minus fifteen points for each reference missed, prove yourself "teh worthy", minus fifteen points for using the letter u when you intended to use the word "you"

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 03:09 (nineteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

The Y and the O always feel so neglected when I only use the letter U, and they spend the rest of the day moping around the house feeling sorry for themselves.

― ((Censored)) ((Censored)), Thursday, 19 January 2006 19:34 (nineteen years ago)

And obviously we can't be having with that.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 20 January 2006 00:14 (nineteen years ago)

soon I will be president

― Gov. Jerry Brown (Uber Alles), Sunday, 22 January 2006 02:05 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, I always feel guilty when I see them sitting on the couch looking down into a hot steaming mug of coffe (or in Y's case, a bottle of jack.), and sighing heavily.

Gov. Jerry. oh dear sweet Gov. Jerry. The idea that you might even have a chance of being considered to be submitted for nomination is prepoterous. I'm not saying i would nominate you, I'm just saying, you arent necissarily the pick of the litter.

― ((Censored)) ((Censored)), Friday, 27 January 2006 19:29 (nineteen years ago)

why would u even nominate Gov. Jerry for president...hes always hiped up on Jack and No Doz!

― Saddam the cab driver, Wednesday, 1 February 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

Not much different to the current president then.

― StrangeDays (StrangeDays), Wednesday, 1 February 2006 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

ah..

― Gov. Jerry Brown (Uber Alles), Monday, 6 February 2006 07:58 (nineteen years ago)

I started to type and lost my thought.. and my pants.... SHIT.. where are my pants

― Gov. Jerry Brown (Uber Alles), Monday, 6 February 2006 07:58 (nineteen years ago)

sorry I found them... they were on my head... no idea why... bback to the thought... ahhhh... hold on.. I am remembering... right-o then

I have a better accent

― Gov. Jerry Brown (Uber Alles), Monday, 6 February 2006 07:59 (nineteen years ago)

Nice. Now say "She sells sea shells by the sea shore."

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 6 February 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

who cares about a better accent?...

― Saddam the cab driver, Monday, 20 February 2006 05:38 (nineteen years ago)

I do. I'm fed up with sounding like Worzel Gummidge.

― C J (C J), Monday, 20 February 2006 09:19 (nineteen years ago)

Cup of tea and a slice of cake?

― Geoffrey Judge ( Ivor Feltersnatch), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

Aunt Sally!

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

G'day mate!?

― StrangeDays (StrangeDays), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

How now, brown cow.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 23 February 2006 11:44 (nineteen years ago)

Peter Piper picked a pint of perfect porter

― Geoffrey Judge ( Ivor Feltersnatch), Thursday, 23 February 2006 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

Tommy Toper tossed a tumbler of tawny tequila

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 23 February 2006 15:14 (nineteen years ago)

arrogant barry chucked a dram of elegant fino

maybe not

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 24 February 2006 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

Then again, why not?

Gouty Herbert ingested a jugful of kreemy Liebfraumilch

[uurgh]

― Rex (Rex), Saturday, 25 February 2006 04:50 (nineteen years ago)

Morose Nicholas ordered a Pitcher of Quality Riesling

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 26 February 2006 10:18 (nineteen years ago)

Yum.

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 26 February 2006 10:18 (nineteen years ago)

Gordon The Negro finished off the Freixinet.

― C J (C J), Sunday, 26 February 2006 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

Frat boy Freddie Funneled Fifteen Fosters Facilitating Frequent Fumbling and Faceplants.

― Ðµdë §téè£ (Ðµdë §téè£), Monday, 27 February 2006 02:59 (nineteen years ago)

Faceplants?

― C J (C J), Monday, 27 February 2006 08:46 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, faceplants. you know when you plant your face in the carpet....

― geoffjudge, Monday, 27 February 2006 12:09 (nineteen years ago)

Ah, yes. I'd never heard of that before (I am thus exposed as a fraud - I so do not belong on a messageboard for drunks).

― C J (C J), Monday, 27 February 2006 13:12 (nineteen years ago)

Do you mean because you don't have carpets??

― Geoffrey Judge ( Ivor Feltersnatch), Monday, 27 February 2006 14:16 (nineteen years ago)

No, because I don't have a face.

― C J (C J), Monday, 27 February 2006 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

After you plant them, you have to water them, CJ, or else they will not grow.

― M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 27 February 2006 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

Wait until harvest time!

― Geoffrey Judge ( Ivor Feltersnatch), Monday, 27 February 2006 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

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