Veterans’ News

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May I respectfully beseech you all to get yer ra-ra’s out for my chum Peter Maling, better known as Naked Blog, under which name, as oldsters may recall, he was one of the original Ask A Drunk crew back in 2001.

Now – after regaining his good name by four years of gruelling labour for the poor and disadvantaged in a bingo hall in Leith – he has his reward. In this year’s Bloggies, the annual awards for weblogs, Peter is one of the finalists for the Lifetime Achievement award, and quite right too.

Why not make a special journey to the appropriate web page, scroll down almost to the foot of it and vote, vote, vote for Peter Maling until yer nadgers (or other, if applicable) drop off?

It’s the least he deserves after having to put up with me for all these years.

― Rex (Rex), Thursday, 26 January 2006 19:09 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, but of coarse Rex, I will look into it.

― ((Censored)) ((Censored)), Thursday, 26 January 2006 19:11 (nineteen years ago)

Mr. Waitrose, please make my check payable to the 'International Disorder of Braggarts, Debauchés, and Lurchers, Temple XVII'. I have voted for Mr. Maling.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 26 January 2006 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

I cop to being an oldster, but only if such a thing bears the same relation to 'the old' as a roadster bears to 'the road'. In that capacity, I shall try to undermine the validity of said election as much as the next man.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 27 January 2006 00:05 (nineteen years ago)

I haf voted.

Will Mister Mailing be buying me a drink now?

― C J (C J), Friday, 27 January 2006 11:46 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Pipe down and get in the queue, madam.

Meanwhile I hope your voting fingers are still in tip-top shape, as Peter has now been nominated in two categories – Lifetime Achievement and Best Personal – in the Satin Pajama Awards, whatever they may be.

Ah, the pleasures of knowing a celebrity.

― Rex (Rex), Thursday, 16 February 2006 13:09 (nineteen years ago)

Satin Pajama?

I'm not clicking on that link. I bet it's smutty.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

It very well may be, CJ. My company's web filter blocked it.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

Your company's web filter doesn't know what it's missing.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 17 February 2006 00:53 (nineteen years ago)

I doubt it's missing anything. It's me who's missing stuff. Like my sense of perspective.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 February 2006 18:59 (nineteen years ago)

Perspective is easy. These cows are small ....... those cows are far away.

― C J (C J), Friday, 17 February 2006 20:28 (nineteen years ago)

Place a Shetland and a Clydesdale on a descending slope, several hundred feet apart, close one eye. See it? Ok, back up a little...

I love how they all fall for that one.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 17 February 2006 22:16 (nineteen years ago)

Will I now be expected to vote for Peter every other time I turn around, as that man is nominated countless times for obscure awards emblematic of the esteem in which he is held by the entire blogging world? (I use "blogging" here in its original sense as a swear word.)

If I am, then I am going to want a sidekick, rather like that oriental gentleman who assisted the Green Hornet. Only this sidekick would do my less-engaging internet chores and tidy up around the hovel. Oh, incidentally, he should, without fail, be less angry than any of my ex-wives. I expect Peter to furnish him, with references.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 18 February 2006 18:22 (nineteen years ago)

Not sure Peter and I know anyone that reliable. Will you settle for this hypodermic syringe filled with fizzy pink stuff?

― Rex (Rex), Thursday, 23 February 2006 23:11 (nineteen years ago)

Do you have any in purple???

― Geoffrey Judge ( Ivor Feltersnatch), Friday, 24 February 2006 15:33 (nineteen years ago)

So, these grabby bastards think they can horn in on my syringe of fizzy pink stuff, do they? Well, I'll show them!

[roughly swipes syringe from Rex, accidentally impales hand and injects himself in the process, and falls writhing to the floor]

Hah! See! Mine! Mine! ALL MINE!!

[foams at the mouth, pinkly]

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 24 February 2006 17:43 (nineteen years ago)

and........cut.

That's great, Aimless. Now, can you do it for the purple market? Love your work, by the way. Aimless? AIMLESS!?

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 24 February 2006 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

[gets up, dusts off clothes] Well, that's the last time I ever do that!

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 25 February 2006 04:59 (nineteen years ago)

yes.
the laundry bill gets expensive.

― StrangeDays (StrangeDays), Saturday, 25 February 2006 07:56 (nineteen years ago)

Washing machine always intimidate me, They have to be the only appliance that jacks up the electric bill, and the water bill.

The water heater does the same thing to me. It jacks up the water bill, and the gas bill.

Oh the horrors that lie in my garage!

― ((Censored)) ((Censored)), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

Gov. Jerry Brown feels left out of this.... so she must post something... My Washing machine hates me with a passion

― Gov. Jerry Brown (Uber Alles), Sunday, 12 March 2006 08:44 (nineteen years ago)

Strolling down a dark alley last night I was set upon by four juvenile washing machines from deprived homes, and beaten to a jelly.

― Rex (Rex), Sunday, 12 March 2006 17:22 (nineteen years ago)

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