Breaking News from "Ask a drunk"

I am beginning to think this JSenlib fellow is not to be trusted to watch your brolly unless you set three people to watch him watch it. There is something unwholesome about him I cannot place my finger upon (and something about that last phrase that does not seem entirely right, either).

1)the lady in question asked for an explanation (as it seemed to me).
2)the reply wouldn't interest anyone on this forum
3)so i mailed it to her
4)she hasn't complained (yet)

And it's no good making excuses for yourself, JSenlib, by stating that "Celeste" has not complained. This claim reaches beyond your knowledge. For all you know, she has changed her name to Ophelia and wanders hither and yon, grubbing in streambanks, uprooting rue plants by the dozens, and ferociously chanting imprecations against you such as would singe the feathers off a grebe.

It is possible that her friends (yes! her real friends who have her welfare at heart) have locked her into her room and taken away her new computer, to protect her from further defilement through incidental contact with the Bible or with you, both of which have been known to ooze across the Internet like sea snakes through a slime pit.

Did you think of that? Well, did you?

Poo , Are we having a beer monday nite or what ... ?

I've completely failed to get pissed this week.

There is some danger of blood being detected in my alcohol stream

Dozzer.

Avoid him, FTLOG.

How'd you figure that out?

I got drunk and posted something a bit offensive about him on another board which I really, really can't remember posting and he/she hasn't been back since

no, i've just been busy

JSen did send some scary Christian emails to my girlfriend though.

that's not entirely correct. How 'bout posting that alleged scary e-mail here and letting others judge for themselves

Will America Grow Up Before It Grows Old?

No

I couldn't be bothered to copy more, but I feel that a maximum score should not be beyond us. Forgive me JS, but have you noticed the name of the forum?

Answers:

1. I don’t know, do you think I do.

2. No but I don’t think I answered the first question correctly.

3. I don’t think I do, but I do LIKE FUCKING NAZI BABYS

4. I wouldn’t go as far to say that I over extend myself but I do occasionally miss the point of the intended question usually as a result of self-distractive actions that for some reason I insist on letting get the better of me.

5.

6. Fuckin rite I do!

7. I wouldn’t say so. Crap, is this gonna get all philosophical.

8. A question a feel I could only answer at gun point im afraid.

9. Look it wasn’t him that had the drink problem, he only drank because…oh never mind

2. Both of them?

3. What's that supposed to mean?

4. YYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS

5. I refuse to answer any questions with the word "own" in them

6. Not raelly

7. This quiz is too easy. What is your agenda?

8. Only if ketamine induced

9. Fuck people, fuck their friends, fuck their pets, their countries, governments and customs, fuck their clothes, their music collections and their favourite sports, fuck their haircuts, piercings, tattoos and their merkins, fick their jobs, leisure activities and religions. Especially those who drink.

The Questions:

10. Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?

11. Do you isolate yourself from other people?

12. Do you feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of you?

13. Do you respond with fear to authority figures and angry people?

14. Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?

15. Do you confuse pity with love, as you did with the problem drinker?

16. Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive and abusive?

17. Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of being alone?

18. Do you mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?

19. Do you find it difficult to identify and express your emotions?

20. Do you think parental drinking may have affected you?

My Answers:

10. I want to see what others put first as not to offend them.

11. Errm..

12. I would respond but fear you’d use the answer for your own personal gain

13. Why so may questions? Please

14. Yeah, Rose West and that guy from Slayed.

15. No, but I did cry on my cock and fuck my mother.

16. No Comment.

17. So what if I fucked a dog, just drop it ok.

18. I’d have to get a second opinion.

19. Yeah *sob* I do, and its killing me. *sob*

20. Yeah, I got a clitoris stuck in my throat, makes me wheeze

As in the bottles of water?

Even Better question: Why is this stupid thead so popular?

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby do you recognise me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

Chorus:
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

(Oooh. Oooh Baby)

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man undercover but you tore me apart Oooh Oooh
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

Chorus:
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special(special)

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special(special)

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
(Gave you my heart)
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Next year
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
special-someone-someone
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
who'll give me something in return
I'll give it to someone
hold my heart and watch it burn
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
I've got you here to stay
I can love you for a day
I thought you were someone special
gave you my heart
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone
last christmas I gave you my heart
you gave it away
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone

Stop the train I'm leaving
Stop the train I'm leaving
Stop the train I'm leaving
it won't be too long whether I'm right or wrong
said it won't be too long whether I'm right or wrong

all my good life I've been a lonely man
teaching people who don't overstan'
and even though I've tried my bes'
I still dont find no happiness

Stop the train I'm leaving
Stop the train I'm leaving
Stop the train I'm leaving
it won't be too long whether I'm right or wrong
said it won't be too long whether I'm right or wrong

some goin' east
some goin' west
some step aside
to try their best
some livin' big
but the most livin' small
they just cant even find
no food at all

Stop the train I'm leaving
Stop the train I'm leaving
Stop the train I'm leaving
it won't be too long whether I'm right or wrong
said it won't be too long whether I'm right or wrong

Stop the train I'm leaving...

Your middle finger was clutching my thumb through the park
and over macdougal.
The torches were blazing about our street and just down from the sky.
Casey stepped with Anna off the curb.
His shoes are clogs, did you see?
They dipped in that puddle, the one catching green.
They were tripping up and slipping around,
singing 'Rolalita come out tonight' and oh I wanted to pull you down.
roll on top of me, baby. just roll.
we'll wreck our clothes.
we'll scrape our knees.
we'll taste the scabs.
you, sweet, are worth these next four months
until I bail out and kiss behind your ears, drive off in the van.
oh my god, I think I'm dying in this car seat, where I'll spend through winter.

It sure been a hard, hard winter
My feet been draggin' 'cross the ground
And I hope it's gonna be a long, hot summer
And a lotta love will be burnin' bright

And I wish I been out in California
When the lights on all the Christmas trees went out
But I been burnin' my bell, book and candle
And the restoration plays have all gone 'round

It sure been a cold, cold winter
My feet been draggin' 'cross the ground
And the fields has all been brown and fallow
And the springtime take a long way around

Yeah, and I wish I been out in Stone Canyon
When the lights on all the Christmas trees went out
But I been burnin' my bell, book and candle
And the restoration plays have all gone 'round

Sometimes I think about you, baby
Sometimes I cry about you
Sometimes I wanna wrap my coat around you
Sometimes I wanna keep you warm
Sometimes I wanna wrap my coat around you
Sometimes I wanna but I can't afford you