Serious question

I was shocked by what I heard too, but the past is best left in the past - no need to rake over anything in public here, I think.

As for being sad and upset ... I think the best approach to the internet is simply to take everything at face value, and if you enjoyed interacting with someone online then just remember their online persona with some fondness.

Unlike my copy of mavity the cat which was lost in a CATastrophic drive failure before I backed it up anywhere.... hint hint....wink wink.... nudge nudge ;)

I'm still working on my website CJ's shrine dot com

CJ I understand your point but it is an issue that is hard to come to terms with. I certainly have no intention of dragging anything out and it is the very fact that I did like him that confuses me so much.

I'm sure the vast majority of people who post on the internet are reluctant to reveal their less-than-perfect side when bantering harmlessly with other virtual 'friends', and failure to disclose information about yourself isn't quite the same as being deliberately misleading to gain personal advantage, in my opinion. Whether a person is an axe murderer or was caught shoplifting pick'n'mix sweeties from Woolworths when they were 10, the principle is the same - what's wrong with drawing a veil over some negative aspect of your personality as long as it doesn't impact on the people you post alongside?

I may be taking an overly simplistic view of this but there again I have learned not to become terribly involved with people on the net. I treat the place quite shallowly, and I'm only here for the laughs. Perhaps if I felt personally betrayed by someone, I might find it harder to deal with. But I do understand your viewpoint, and I'm sorry you are so upset. I'm sure this was a shock to many of us.

If 2 people knew another person they would both see a different person.

The person you knew is the one special to you.

I suspect that the reason that I have been distressed by this is because I also use the net as some light hearted refuge from the cruelties of the world. I work in a job in which I hear about the worst of human behaviour, I also live in an area in which I am exposed daily to what verges on child abuse. I guess this came as another reminder that the world is really messed up and it occurs even when you don't expect it.

Thanks everyone for letting me vent. I do actually have my own family and friends and work so it's not as though this is my life or anything. I know I'm a bit of a freak to be upset. I don't know why this makes me want to cry.

When you've spent several years, on-and-off, bantering back and forth with someone you probably think you kind-of sort-of know them a bit so it's obviously going to be upsetting to discover that they weren't anything like you imagined them to be. That's true of anyone really, not just a words-on-the-screen internet person - I'm sure I would have been just as stunned to discover that someone I worked with or the village postman or whoever had been hiding some awful secret about what they did on their days off. It's perfectly understandable that you are reacting this way.

Although I am more of a mini shredded wheat girl than a cheerio fan.

I can understand the whole wheat girl thing, but aren't minis a little high in iron and rubber and steering wheels et ainsi de suite?

How do we know that Anna is not a ravishing, svelte, and witty socialite beauty who only occasionally condescends to post here wearing the most exquisite clothes and who doesn't refrain from scratching herself only because she has never, ever had the urge?

As to your comments about me I was shocked at your astuteness. You are 100% correct. Except for the socialite thing. And the esquisite clothes. And the witty comment. Apart from that you are 100% accurate. I was never one for scratching.

Anna yes, I was angry. But it seems a little pointless all things considered. It also (for me) raised interesting points about how these things are never cut and dried, one aspect of a personality etc, all of which have been more elegantly expressed upthread. It was...unexpected.

I, incidentally, am a seven foot tall mother of six.

And you, CJ, are all about the Ricicles. Don't even attempt to pretend that that isn't the case.

I had always assumed she was a ravishing, svelte beauty. However, any socialite status she may otherwise claim is instantly negated for the duration of her stay in AAD. At such times she may be a bon vivant, but never a socialite. It's the law.

I was sure it was in there. Eh. Forget it.

According to the advertising slogan of the day, Ricicles were Twice-icles As Nice-icles.