In what ways has Ask A Drunk Contributed to your moral decline?

Prior to finding Ask A Drunk, all my attempts to become an organ donor were spurned amid gales of scornful laughter.

Since stumbling upon Ask A Drunk, I have settled comfortably into the gutter, surrounded by the glittering shards of my broken dreams, which I find to be highly decorative and stimulating. Or else I am just misidentifying some broken bottles. It is so hard to tell sometimes in this miserable light.

If it hadn't been for As a Drunk I would still be the nine stone weakling of a few years ago. I would still be the quavering wreck who was scared of the shadows. Ask a Drunk gave me the confidence to step out of my misery, to be the handsome, well-dressed person I am today. The confidence to live, to laugh and to love. It taught me the secrets of the pros, a few simple tricks which will transform your life beyond recognition! And Ask a Drunk can do all this for YOU, too! Simply send a cheque or postal order to the value of thirty-five pounds to Matt Fallaize c/o Le Frog Bistro, St Helens Rd, Ormskirk. You won't be sorry! Act now! Send your money TODAY to start the rest of your LIFE!

Tips are down?

Kitchen get peanuts.

So we're limited to making satay, really.

I was a better person before I stumbled into Ask A Drunk o so many years ago.

My experiences here have enlightened me as to the many diverse foibles of mankind tempting me to delve into the darker side of life.

Ignore that fool, he is drunk most of his waking hours! The truth is that I was a sorry excuse for a human being and the sincere loving personal interactions here have made me realize that life is worth living and deep down inside there is good in everyone!

Those two candy asses have no clue what is going on..... I am the one driving this bus and we do as I say when I say and how I say.

They just cower in the corner whimpering and licking their wounds. PUSSIES!

I really don't know what to say, they fight like this all the time. Sometime I try to reason with them but they never listen to me. Help me, PLEASE!

When I first came upon Ask a Drunk, I was respected around the world and addressed by the Japanese honorific 'San'. Within a couple of years, the company of Ask a Drunkites caused me to be rejected by society. Circumstances forced me to become a Ho.