Genetically engineering fictional characters so we can eat them

why imagine celibrities to eat when there are so many plump 'n juicy REAL-life celebrities to nosh on. in fact, one of the best meals i ever had was a handful of cher's hair (with a shandy chaser) harvested outside the winter garden c.1977. a complex tongue, lots of cinnamon with strong overtones of greg allman's semen. truly a feast!! as for meals i think about: wouldn't mind tossing a handful of sir elton's nail parings into my nutella and spreading the crunchy goo on a stone wheat thin.

Pâté de sein de la princesse Leia en croûte
Cervelle de Yoda dans son jus
Méli-mélo de Jabba le Hutt avec croustillants de Sy Snottles
Machin-chose de R2-D2; bonne chance
Raviolis de Monsieur Skywalker, avec salade tiède
Bourguignonne archi-froide de Han Solo avec ses tripes en compote
M'enfin, qu'est-ce que c'est que ça de Sebulba, sauce électrique
Foutu de stormtrooper, cuisiné avec son armure
Chapeau melon noir d'Anakin, en chapelure de Force noire

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Fuck Star Wars.

"Burnt Norton on a stick"
A large stick is rammed up the arse of Graham Norton so hard that it comes out of his untanlented and foul mouth, thus forming a wriggling and squealing shish-kebab.
He's then spit roasted - that is covered in spit by as many people as can be found willing to line up and gob on him - and then roasted.

Forget about eating his crispy carcass though, it'll be far too unpalatable. All the pleasure's in the preparation and cooking of this dish, not in the eating.

Would it be bad form for me to genetically enginner Huckleberry Finn with an actual sharks fin on his back, remove it and cook it with huckleberries? I think not.

My idea for what to do with Oliver Twist is too bloodthirsty even to talk about here.

Lynskey, I'd be sorely disappointed if you weren't able to realise that I meant all of that in a SARCASTIC kinda way. I don't give a fig for those Starwarsy-imaginary-creatures-made-real, but I am kinda gettin freaked by the hate mail I'm gettin from people who are more intelligent than me.

I'd suggest Cinderella, but that's been overdone.

I much prefer rare

Tartare de Barbarella, sans aucun assaisonnement. Voilà tout. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..........

Slow baked Patrick Moorhen

Et voilà: the Googlewhack Christmas menu...

Mekon dauphinoise
Beeblebrox farci
Garlic Zammo
Grommit giblets
Spicy Wizbit
Bambi émincé
Psammead casserole
Magoo ragoût
Morph shashlik
Quatermass sorbet
Bagpuss stroganoff

Inspector Magret

Not a genetic modification for alimentary purposes, but this just struck me:

I was just lying in my bed, with my right cheek being boiled off by my exothermic cat ... and I thought it might be a nice idea to genetically modify cats so that they had sleeves and buttons, which you could wear like a coat. It wouldn't piss off the animal rights people because, hey, it's a pet! But it would be a real fur coat! And it would be bloody warm!

Maybe they could make larger ski-suit-style apparel out of badgers. I was going to suggest that they could have hoods as well, but this is, on reflection, a stupid, stupid idea, as when you took your pet off, the hood would hang down in front of its eyes, and it wouldn't be able to see where it was going. It might be funny for five minutes on 'You've Been Framed', but it's still basically just a design fault. Unless you included a little button-down pocket that you could store the hood in when not in use.

Remember, developers: if this CatSuit idea gets into production, don't be tempted to use velcro or zippers. If the poor little mite gets some hair trapped in that, the wearer could have serious chunks of face removed in the ensuing fracas.

Personnally I would opt for a shittforbrain (George Bush) stew that I would throw to the wolves