1. exhume J.H. Fragonard's corpse
2. grind his left femur to a fine powder
3. mix the powder into a can of flat black paint
4. paint Monsieur Fragonard's right femur with this mixture
5. allow the paint to dry for 24-36 hours
6. display the femur on a white card table, surrounded by a handful of withered petunia petals
― Ol Bertie Dastard, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 02:12 (seventeen years ago)