The Great Shirokuma Publicity Stunt

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As baDDass as Flav on a particularly fly tip, our friend Shirokuma may soon be unleashed on us, by which I mean YOU, the consumer.

What is needed here is a MASSIVE PUBLICITY STUNT. Remember Jacko floating down the Thames? We need to dwarf that. Do something so balls out that the worlds press has to take notice even out of a collective "wtf?".

Publicity is like a cake. The bigger the better.

Ideas people . . . .

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 9 January 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

1. MARK CLAIMS HE'S A CLONE
If any old cult can do it, Mark can do it. No claims about unseen babies, Mark comes right out and says "hello! clone here! singing clone!" in a press conference held in the disused rubble of Wembley. When asked if they can see the clonefather, Mark can simply disappear behind a screen, reappearing with a different tie, possibly with the slogan "pops" written on it.

2. MARK OFFERS MEATLOAF "OUT FOR A FIGHT"
Remember Liam n' Robbie? That got those chins wagging. And who better to paste liberally around a room than the umulgous mass of coke and vocal chords that is "the meat". Offer a waterfall based encounter and pay per view tickets on BBC Choice.

3. MARK DATES THE QUEEN
Tricky, but from what I've heard she's a "goer", so all may not be lost. The whole Camilla thing will pale insignificance when our boy takes HRH to a Smiths Night and gets her loaded on snakebyte. The pics in the papers of Liz getting freaky to Ask will be an added bonus.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Thursday, 9 January 2003 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

What you need is a "The Mirror" Photoshop story headline.

"ShiROCuma"

This is what the world will look like if mad man Mark Corrin gets his way, he plans to genetically engineer an army of giant Roc birds as pictured.

http://webhome.idirect.com/~donlong/monsters/IMAGES/Roc.jpg

Once created his army of giant birds will create an new form of cross platform web animation software in direct competition with both Shockwave and Flash therefore allowing him corner the market in annoying Quake/Counterstrike clan intro screens once the combined might of "l33t d00dz" are at his disposal rising to power through the sale of glow in the dark rounded ide cables will be easy.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 9 January 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Jacko floated down the Thames? When was that?

― Aimless, Thursday, 9 January 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

1995, to promote the HIStory album, it was a giant statue of him. On a huge barge. On the Thames.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 10 January 2003 11:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Floating?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 12 January 2003 06:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Does Lynskey float? Has anyone seen him do it?

Hah! Didn't think so.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 12 January 2003 06:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Why, I'm floating right now. On air. In a vest.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Sunday, 12 January 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

On the Thames?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 13 January 2003 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

On the Booze, Marty. The Booze.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 13 January 2003 00:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah! Wakarimasu.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

. . . in momentous news Shirokuma is pretty much a shoe in with Valentine Records.

http://www.valentinerecords.co.uk/

Huzzah to Valentine for spotting genius when they see it!

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

Don't forget, SHIROKUMA is also involved in a project with Seattle's Red Martian to release a split vinyl 7" this summer on the BUGHLT record label. http://redmartian.com met Mark on their UK tour last fall when they played at Star & Garter .. December 2nd?

― Marc Bolan, Tuesday, 18 March 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Weren't you in T. Rex?

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

If it is you then cheers for that bang-a-gong stuff. Could've done without all the nonsense about pixies, mind.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I LIKE pixies.
I have one in my cupboard, behind the can of boned grebe.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 03:31 (twenty-two years ago)

No you don't you silly little man

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Upon closer inspection, what appeared to be a pixie seems to be a very large dead moth.
THANKS FOR SHATTERING MY DREAM, LYNSKEY!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

While hibernating, Pixies appear to be large dead moths. They dry out over the winter so you may want to soak it in a shotglass of a mild distilled liquid.

This usually perks them right up! If not then it will burn easier......

― Ðµdë §téè£, Friday, 21 March 2003 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

And lo, it has come to pass, even (almost) as it was foretold by the prophet Lynskey.

One of these people is MARK CORRIN

and according to a reliable showbiz gossip site now has a contract with Faith & Hope records which is certain to bring him LIMITLESS FAME AND RICHES.

Surely this is all the proof we need that having the piss taken out of you mercilessly for ten months on Ask A Drunk is a guarantee of GOOD FORTUNE IN THIS WORLD and PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT IN THE NEXT.

Congratulations to all concerned, and will candidates to become Ask A Drunk’s next whipping boy please form an orderly queue?

― Rex (Rex), Monday, 31 March 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Wakarimasu? Well, I've eaten a little too much, but I think I might possibly make a space for a little slice. Not too much cream, please. And perhaps a smidgin of widgeon, if you haven't run out. *D'oh! You gits! Does that mean I have become an habitué of this concentric waste of brain cells?*

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 31 March 2003 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Wakarimasu?

Anatawa Nihongo-wa wakarimasu? Diajobu ne!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I screwed up.

Anata-wa Hihongo-GA wakarimasu.

My first wife was Japanese...a long time ago...

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:50 (twenty-two years ago)

No, no, that's wrong too.

It's OK to be drunk here, right?

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:56 (twenty-two years ago)

MESSAGE

ce comprendre de essayer à
con d'un l'air
j'ai que moment bon
un fait ça

― Pooster (pooster), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

quoi?

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Thursday, 3 April 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Ahh..vous comprends...stuffvous comprends....things....

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 4 April 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

It's that Chunnel thing, ain't it.

Youse guys is all parly voos now.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Saturday, 5 April 2003 02:17 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

Wakarimasu?

Wakarimasu-ka, n'est-ce pas?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 6 October 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

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