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I am looking for recommendations for humorous writers and writings, whether gentle (Thurberesque) or scathing (Vonnegutteral) makes little difference to me. Or, if you'd prefer, you may use the space provided below to take the piss out of me, thou pustulent farthingales.

― Aimless, Sunday, 9 February 2003 00:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Take the piss?
Never!

― Celeste (Celeste), Sunday, 9 February 2003 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"pustulent farthingales"?
Pustulent, perhaps. Farthingales? Never!
A writing with a scathing slant can be found in T. Carew's
" Pretensions of Poverty" aka "Taking the Piss".
Many hours of mirth can be had, by anyone with a sense of humor and an IQ of three digits, by reading the "Congressional Record".

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 9 February 2003 01:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I am in the middle of reading the four Enderby novels of Anthony Burgess. The first book Inside Enderby had some good sharp digs at poets and some funny in-jokes for poets and some pathetic truth about poets. The second Enderby Outside is degenerating into tepid farce. Still and all, the man could write.

― Aimless, Sunday, 9 February 2003 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish I could get as drunk as Edward Fitzgerald.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 9 February 2003 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

And still write.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Sunday, 9 February 2003 03:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Fitzgerald's "May Day" is supposed to be a depressing story, but the drunk part is really funny

― JS, Sunday, 9 February 2003 05:03 (twenty-two years ago)

As usual, clarity eludes me. I meant to refer to Fitzgerald's translation of the "Rubaiyat" by Omar Khayyam. As legend has it, Omar was a deeply religious Muslim who originally wrote a tribute to Allah. Fitzgerald, in a fit of drunken mirth, rewrote the whole thing. "The Words of God, a Loaf of Bread - and Thou.", became "A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread, ect.."
Fitzgerald went quite mad in his later years an took to peeling bananas from the wrong end and offering them to strangers in exchange for some unnamed "favor".

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 10 February 2003 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I always find Saki funny, but I should imagine you already knew that Aimless. Um, the poetry of Roy Fisher contains some genuine comic gems (notably "on the neglect of figure compostion" in his collection The Dow Low Drop (Bloodaxe)). For gentle but entertaining satire Nigel Williams is an excellent writer (all of his stuff is Faber and Faber), for slightly more vicious stuff Craig Brown's earlier work is sublime, but he's gone off the boil a bit recently.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 10 February 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Can you read persian?

― JS, Monday, 10 February 2003 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Initially I thought you were talking of F.Scott Fitzgerald. He was a drunk too wasn't he?

― JS, Monday, 10 February 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

this puts in mind of one of my more memorable personal discoveries: to wit, the fact that blind people read nothing but the most hardcore pornography. really sick stuff. background: since the molasses flood, the trams have been clogged with blind people, silently running freakishly agile fingers over those standard manilla braille tomes. i had always assumed there was a nice selection from the classics, news of the day, tv drama synopses, etc. but the look on their faces always made me suspicious. long story short, a length of ankle chain, a very hot radiator, and two carbon fibre flails later i had the full story. they read nothing but gutter smut. and it's not for lack of choice. robinson crusoe, the scotsman, and tv talk are available. it's cuz they wants to!!! now they've even got a way to make the dirty dirty pics into bumps (who leaves the lite on anyway??). query -- if regular sighted joes could do it, would we?? who knows, but it sure shoudn't stop you bitch slappin' silly the next white cane willy you spot with one of filthy touch books. just my opinion. cheers!!

― hurley (hurley), Monday, 10 February 2003 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I am in awe

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 10 February 2003 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I was in Awe once. No one would give me directions.
I had to follow streams to lower ground.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I read one of those articles in “Barely Visible”, went something like…..

:_: '\..::^..%: |::..'':

Dirtiest thing i ever did read!

― Robin (RJM), Friday, 14 February 2003 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

i once asked for directions in rome: i asked "dove se trove stazione centrale"

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 28 April 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder what became of Aimless. I envision him and Sue wandering in the woods of his mythical "Oregon", giving trees individual names and using their own bodies to protect them from the dreaded Northwest Tree Poachers. Aimless and Sue Denim, lost forever in the forest of imagination. Lost. No hatpins, no grebes, and no blissium.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 28 April 2003 22:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Aimless is still around, he popped on ILE a few days ago.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 28 April 2003 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Entrails everywhere.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

And you will know him by the trail of the entrails

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 1 May 2003 10:27 (twenty-two years ago)

and all that entails

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 1 May 2003 10:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I want full details of the trail of entails and all that it entails --provided by a group of snails, or if that fails, quails. Capiche?

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Thursday, 1 May 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

*wails*

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 1 May 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread is becoming beyond the pale

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 1 May 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Matty, you're clearly not as tough as nails. Toughen up or I will have to assail you.

Ok, yes, this has now gone beyond the pale. Where's a pail?

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Thursday, 1 May 2003 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Screw this I'm off for some ale.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 1 May 2003 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

That will be of no avail.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

and thus we come to the end of the tale

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 2 May 2003 05:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Hail!

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 2 May 2003 09:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps we should curtail this tale. Those who fail will go to jail.

― C J (C J), Friday, 2 May 2003 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll get out on bail.

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Friday, 2 May 2003 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Unless your hearing I derail with a stripper who's male, frail and Alan Dale (Jim Robinson from Neighbours).

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 2 May 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

or Jim Dale

― C J (C J), Friday, 2 May 2003 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

or Dale Winton

― C J (C J), Friday, 2 May 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

play badminton

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 2 May 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

With Bill Clinton.

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Friday, 2 May 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

in Edmonton

― C J (C J), Friday, 2 May 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

This is fun but it's coming undone.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 2 May 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't worry son, i'll get my gun

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 2 May 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

oh this is no fun

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 2 May 2003 22:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I propose a conundrum.

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Saturday, 3 May 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

A conundrum that is not humdrum I would suppose, is the answer to the question that you propose.

― Ðµdë §téè£, Saturday, 3 May 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

he knows!

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 3 May 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

while the wind blows

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 5 May 2003 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I suppose we must continue without prose?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 5 May 2003 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I suppose

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 5 May 2003 05:48 (twenty-two years ago)

stone the bleeding crows

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 5 May 2003 05:48 (twenty-two years ago)

and so this thread grows

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 5 May 2003 09:38 (twenty-two years ago)

like Pinocchio's nose

― C J (C J), Monday, 5 May 2003 10:34 (twenty-two years ago)

from out of the shadows

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 5 May 2003 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

of Mon Repos

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Monday, 5 May 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

smelling as sweet as a rose

― C J (C J), Monday, 5 May 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

like the Pobble Who Has No Toes

― C J (C J), Monday, 5 May 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Poor Pobble. I feel for his woes.
BTW: Where is the land that the Bong Tree grows?

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 5 May 2003 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the Owl and The Pussy Cat, don'tcha knows?
You need to brush up on your nonsense prose.

(Well okay, it's nonsense poetry, not prose, but of course that wouldn't have rhymed)

― C J (C J), Monday, 5 May 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Daft sod! It was just an aside that into my thoughts arose.

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 5 May 2003 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

You called me a daft sod! I am now morose.

I wonder whether, in contributing to this forum, I wisely chose.

― C J (C J), Monday, 5 May 2003 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG!!! I just realised the author of the question, he whose query it was his will to pose!!! Aimless, to which everything I owes!
The author Tom Robbins is one I propose...
But... as far as favourite books goes:
it behoves everyone to read 'The Hot Zone' by Richard Preston: "The true story of how a deadly virus from the central African rain forest suddenly appears in a Washington, D.C., animal test lab. In a matter of days, 90% of the primates exposed to the virus are dead, and secret government forces are mobilized to stop the spread of this exotic "hot" virus." I'm not done yet so I don't have to come up with a rhyme just yet, right? Right. Also read the subsequent book which is actually fiction but based on fact: "The Cobra Event is the story of a secret counter-terror operation. It is set in motion one spring morning in New York City when a seventeen-year-old student wakes up feeling vaguely ill. She seems to be coming down with a cold. Hours later she is having violent seizures, blood is pouring out of her nose, and she has begun a hideous process of self-cannibalization. Soon, other gruesome deaths of a similar nature have been discovered, and the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta sends a forensic pathologist. an expert in epidemiology, to investigate. What she finds precipitates a federal crisis. The details of this story are fictional, but they are based on a scrupulously thorough inquiry into the history of biological weapons and their use by civilian and military terrorists. "The creation of advanced biological weapons using methods of genetic engineering and biotechnology is sometimes known as 'black biology,'" Richard Preston writes. The extent to which the products of black biology are available nearly everywhere in the world is shocking. Preston's sources for his story include members of the FBI and the United States military, public health officials, intelligence officers in foreign governments, and scientists who have been involved in the development and testing of strategic bioweapons. The stories of what they have seen and what they expect to happen and how they plan to deal with it are chilling. The Cobra Event is not science fiction. It is a dramatic, heart-stopping account of a very real threat, told with the skill and authority that made Richard Preston's The Hot Zone an internationally acclaimed bestseller." Notwithstanding an obviously made-for-movie format this is a good book also, I humbly disclose. A scary tale of evil under our collective nose, with its highs and lows, but if you wish to remonstrate with me, I shall surely oppose.
Ner. Alcohol consumption dictates that I should now doze.

― Pooster (pooster), Monday, 5 May 2003 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I SUPPOSE!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 5 May 2003 23:50 (twenty-two years ago)

"In a matter of days, 90% of the primates ..... are dead"

Is Zen Clown's monkey one of those?
No wonder on the rafters it has gone to repose!
It sits there shivering, with fear it is froze.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 03:51 (twenty-two years ago)

You're all mad I s'pose.

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

*blush* oh well, y'know...(s)

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyhow - back to the original request for amusing books to read ........... I recently finished "Running With Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs and I recommend this to you warmly. The true story of Augusten's life growing up in Northampton, Massachusetts. His mother has some sort of breakdown, and sends him off to live with her dodgy therapist. All sorts of hilarity follows as it is a completely dysfunctional family. A bit like AAD, really.

So, there we are. I've hauled this topic back on track again.

Before it snows
And the thread must close
Time for a doze........

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

STICK TO PROSE

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Whose prose? Truffaut's?

― C J (C J), Thursday, 8 May 2003 04:20 (twenty-two years ago)

No, Skee-lo's

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 8 May 2003 09:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Sappho's!

(Now boys, control your thoughts. I'm on Mykonos not Lesbos). ;-)

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Thursday, 8 May 2003 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

best not follow my nose

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Friday, 9 May 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

due to booze, it glows

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 9 May 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Its more spectacular than rainbows!

― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Saturday, 10 May 2003 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

(Can we switch back to prose?)

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Saturday, 10 May 2003 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

How could you propose

Such an idea? It goes

Too far. To go back to prose

To describe your woes

Shudderingly goes

As far as my toes.

If given a mo

To comment, a propos

Your original dunno,

I would suggest Don Camillo

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Saturday, 10 May 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

May I interpose
to sugest
Don DeLillo?

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 10 May 2003 22:48 (twenty-two years ago)

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