thread to get over a breakup

I get that; my advice really revolves around "respectful" having the necessary coldness/impersonableness to create the distance necessary for you both to get to a healthier interaction point (where that may mean never seeing each other again or being good friends).

yesterday we had the talk about "there will soon come a time when we have to sit down and sort our stuff."

that just makes me dread the impending real-deal conversation that will happen between my parents re: stuff

lol c u house i grew up in

the hardest part will be dealing w/stuff we received as a couple as gifts.

take everything you like as a starting position, if he makes hassle let it go. he's not really in a position to make hassle though, so as i said start with everything.

let all the couple shit go unless you love it. it'll depress you later

the only things i wish i'd put up a 'fight' over in my last breakup were the photos. lol pre-digital storage

i wish id taken my kitchen stuff. not that it was a fight, i just left it there. that still pisses me off

the couple shit is mostly dvds, so it's not super sentimental value type things. There are a couple pieces of his artwork that I'd like to keep, but I dunno, maybe I don't want to keep them?

leaving kitchen stuff? outrageous.

the kitchen stuff is almost all mine.
the tv/vcr/dvd player - all mine.
couch - mine.
bookshelves - 60/40 - mine/his
books - 60/40 - mine/his (though a bunch of his really nice art books were things I gave him as gifts cause I have a work discount)
back issues of Art in America magazine dating back to 1992 - his, all his
cds/records - almost entirely mine, one or two things that could be "ours" - he never really listens to music
movies - 40/60 mine/his - though most of the good ones are mine and a lot of his are crappy

keeping an ex's artwork while not desiring "couple-y" things is a vexing personal and somewhat emotionally abstract problem i don't imagine most ppl have to deal with

(not helpful, but still)

yeah, there's a drawing i really like, and a sculpture that i really like that in its way really encapsulates our relationship

these things are his, but i'm trying to decide if i want to ask if i can have them. the sculpture is pretty cumbersome and would be annoying to move/find a place for if he's moving to a smaller place.

see i can understand how this goes with the whole being v angry/upset w/someone that you, in some ways, respect...thing

cf pretty sure my dad was a 'bad actor' (<--lol med speak) in the disintegration of my family, but i still ~like him, you know? he's been my fucking dad for nearly thirty years, and is otherwise the same dude.

VEXING

not that our situations are in any way similar, obv

sorry gbx - that sounds really horrible to deal with - how large a role do you have in this?

lol wait did am i REALLY the reason mom and dad are fighting????

j/k

unclear. i mean, my mom's going blind and sort of relies on others for 80% of her non-home agency, so it's gonna be a lot on my sis and me, eventually.

back issues of Art in America magazine dating back to 1992 - his, all his

lol keep these u can give them to me!

ha! his previous ex-girlfriend complained about these - how much room they took up - and that was in 1997. He's accrued over a decade's worth, since. It's actually a good magazine with some really interesting articles.

yeah i love art in america, dave hickey has been writing a column in it for a while now and the article they had a few months back about "provisional painting" was like porn 2 me

there were actually a couple issues he had that had articles I used for my MA thesis.

also where i first came across blinky palermo and james bishop

Blinky Palermo always reminds me of the Dead Milkmen song "Bitchin' Camaro"

as art magazines go it is refreshingly unhip

i had a subscription to artforum for a while, some of it would be really great and fascinating, and some of it would have this grating "too hip for you" quality. I think there was some article or blog post a while ago that did a comparison between Artforum and Vogue. I hadn't thought about it before, but in a lot of ways they are similar.

yeah that makes sense actually

I will not miss the way you set the alarm for a time unrealistically early considering when you went to sleep and it goes off for fucking ever before it jars you into hitting snooze.

ugh that is a terrible trait. maybe not a conscious bad habit but cmon thats inconsiderate

xp 2 sarahel: lol just came across this
http://donchristensen.com/images/Vog.jpg

ha ha! one of my friends wanted to get me a poster of baldessari's "i will not make boring art" piece - but apparently this item does not exist, and i think it should.

lol @ heilmann illustrating the 60's as well

whatever happened to "world art" magazine

gbx you should read Bottomless Bellybutton

is it sad, y/n

when you say "i don't care" i can tell from your expression and body language that you in fact, do care
when you say "i don't know" i can tell that you actually do have some idea
will be glad to no longer be obliged to read your mind

xp sad but not depressing. and also funny, clever, and all around awesome.

i like the title why bc it sound intersting

http://www.metropulse.com/news/2009/nov/11/tenderhooks-call-it-quits/

This was in the local rag yesterday, so now everybody is asking me about the breakup and all. Also, this article was written by an ilxor. Also, lol "avant doom".

"the split APPEARS amicable"

it actually is amicable tbh + ieo

metropulse.com should get over it

wait are you in that band thats like corrupted you posted about??

gbx it is half sad

in the same way Orson Welles in The Third Man is half fat

haha i am now. xposts

crap, should i watch the movie first??

thats awesome roxy

had thoroughly polite pragmatic discussion about his moving out, timeline for this, separation of stuff - it was almost unreal.

It's good that you can at least settle that stuff without things getting nasty...

Lots of hugs and sympathy to you!

today i made a budget to try and figure out what my expenses would be like living alone