thread to get over a breakup

Trayce, does this guy have a crush on you (your best friend that is)?

Oh god no, he's married :) we're just like naggy brother and sister rly.

"this is a pattern, you have a shit record with this"

otm tbf but wth

Yeah sure, I can dig his observation and agree with it, but god, just be happy for me getting on with my life for once, dude jeez.

My ex, N? He was the first to jump in and say "good on you! Go for it, have some fun, you deserve it!". Bless him. I let a good one go, there :/

Crushdude just rang me at work mid=afternoon while "between meetings" to ask me for a coffee (which sadly I had to decline as I'm flat out)

This guy is doing some srs "hey Im interested" legwork here isnt he?

I'm not used to this haha.

'gday bounce' OMG

I feel stupid for not being able to work out wth kind of euphemism that is.

australian tigger

BTW aforementioned dude is totes interested in me, as I found out last night.

Ah still got it *struts*.

With Trayce's moniker on the page, I misread this title as thread to get over a handjob.

Yay Trayce, you go girl!

Went on date last night (well, with other friends), everyone got well trashed, then eventually had the place to ourselves.

Yeah, that was a very successful evening <3 Recovery time is now.

daaaaammmmmnnnn

fucking awe3some

Iknowrite? It really has helped me get past everything. Not saying I'd get involved with this guy, but life is fun again for a change.

Ow my liver, tho.

Bingobango! Congrats, Trayce!

:D

Did you disrespect his property?

Properly?

Bwahaha.

feel so sad. :\ miss her.

*hugs* ian <3

aww Ian sincerely feeling for you xxxxxx

The worst part is seeing someone I knew so well morph so quickly into someone I'd never give the time of day.

Yeah, thats always a killer :(

Well, that didn't last long :-/

last night i dreamt that you, who never ever go to the doctor when you are sick, was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had only a short time left to live.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyYWCUUnJU0

Feeling a real sting of loneliness right now tbh. Have had some dates, but they've all been so empty, the sort of thing you enjoy when yr in yr 20s/30s because you have all the time in the world to do that shit. But I'm almost 40, and I feel like... oh, I dont even know anymore.

how much time you have is relative - like it's less about life expectancy and more like felt expectations about where you should be/plan to be at what age, I think.

Oh for sure, thats exactly what it is, I guess. Not that I really had any specific plans or goals...

nah, but, well, at least for me, i had vague visions of what my life would be like, and expectations, though i don't really think i thought of them as expectations until the unexpected happened.

i had lunch with my ex yesterday during which he discussed how he never wanted another girlfriend and hated having someone in his house/bed and just didn't want to deal with another person in his life ever again. sound like a terrible existence. and i think he is kidding himself.

being single this time around has been rough and lonely. not sure if that is b/c i am 38 and single or because i feel like i know every single eligible dude in my town too well to want to date them. either way, unlike my ex i would love to have a relationship because i hate the entire dating process.

Having a romantic prospect (even when you know objectively nothing's going to come of it) sucks for the way the whole experience tries to remind you that how you normally feel is not right.

yeah, he's kidding himself. i've kinda been in his position before. where a relationship fucks you up and you can't make new connections for a while, where time is passing by and those nerve endings just don't want to come back to life. sort of exhaustion + numbness to new emotional connections. it's probably temporary and will fade over time and he'll maybe feel silly for saying such melodramatic things but the feelings seem really valid and of weight while you're feeling them.

feel ya on the exhausted dating scene tip. i mean i'm in a serious thing now but man was i there for a while.

btw i wouldn't have guessed 38 by the pics you've posted around the board. you'll rope a good one.

xpost

I don't necessarily feel this way but I don't think he's kidding himself. Relationships aren't for everyone. You can always masturbate and have friends and hobbies.

but who are you gonna cuddle with? You can't make out with your hand, your friends or your train set. I guess you could make out with your friends but it starts getting weird after a bit.

cuddling is essential to me.

It's a trade off. Maybe you don't like cuddling in the first place. Maybe you're tired of making out. Your nerves on your lips get worn out, your hormones stop making you crazy and horny.

i just thing that if he was one to enjoy affection and cuddling and all that throughout his life, all the way up to this recent point, then in all probability he's just burned out out for the time being and probably not broken perma-emo forever and ever and all time and is just putting apocalyptic weight on his current emotional hurdles.

i mean, total speculation; there are all sorts of ppl so whaddo i know

I don't necessarily feel this way but I don't think he's kidding himself. Relationships aren't for everyone. You can always masturbate and have friends and hobbies.

― bamcquern, Tuesday, August 31, 2010 6:10 PM

He is kidding himself. When he met and started dating me he was the loneliest sad sack on earth. And before his relationship before that it was the same thing. He will get that away again and probably soon, to be honest. He hates to be alone and is only pretending to like it to make himself feel better right now. It is just true.

p.s. we have been broken up for a year and a half and have both dated other people since. he gets really depressed b/c nothing he goes for works out. this is why he is pretending to want it that way

btw i wouldn't have guessed 38 by the pics you've posted around the board

THIS, for real.

cuddling is essential to me.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Maybe you don't like cuddling in the first place. Maybe you're tired of making out.
preposterous

thanks for all the support re: my age

my birthday is this weekend and then i will officially be 38 like i have been saying for weeks. i don't think it is bringing me down but who knows what will happen later. it would be nice to not have to be dating in a sea of people either younger then me or my age and married with kids.

Aww Nij, my boyfriend is going to turn 38 tomorrow, Sep 1. Once in a while he tells me that he's not so old and he could easily meet someone else after me, and I laugh -- but not because it's not true.
38 is Not Old.

Besides, you're going to meet a million and one people on your soul-a-van tour, so who gives a fuck about the dudes in your town?!? How many 38-yr-old women have the GUTS and the time to travel the country playing records?? Someone is going to be blown away, probably several someones, and maybe you'll like them and maybe you won't, but at least you'll get some perspecktive.

Yeah, I don't feel like it is old either. and thanks!

being single this time around has been rough and lonely. not sure if that is b/c i am 38 and single or because i feel like i know every single eligible dude in my town too well to want to date them.

*totally* feeling u on this one, lady. Every other time I've been single (which hasnt been in ages) Ive bemoaned it somewhat but it kind of also didnt matter? Because I'd just go out and have fun and casual flings came by without trying.. OR i'd spend six months obsessing over somethign that was a failure, haha.

This time round, it just doesnt seem to be the same ease. Like: I've managed to date/pick up three guys since that whole R breakup palaver upthread, I suppose thats pretty good right?

All 3 seem to think getting down is fine, but you know, actually spending any other time with me at all/talking to me/even emailing or txting me, let alone anything more such as time spent hanging out/cuddling/doing stuff? nope. Even that guy who pursued me rabidly for weeks just suddenly, completely dropped off the radar (isnt even answering my emails)

I like to think my judgement radar isnt *that* broken, but jesus. It's actually fucking insulting.

So now I'm thinking I'm doing something wrong.

well, i started dating people who were age appropriate this summer after spending last summer dating very young guys. young dudes = disaster for 38 year old woman. but my luck this summer has not been great with the 43 year old skate shop dude, the 42 year old record store owner dude and the 30 year old guy who ended up being way way too religious. but anyway. i was posting on here today to make fun of my ex and not moan about my age, which i really have no hang ups about at all.