thread to get over a breakup

chris is being pessimistic, I'm hoping we can move him to the girl probs thread in the next few months

Jesus I wasnt serious!

well tbf some of yr bfs trayce *have* seemed to have expected that of you

Yes, they have :/

As a dude that has been in the "rocker boyfriend who freaks out the squares and my parents" boyfriend role more than I can count, you have my sympathies Chris. It is supremely frustrating to have that turned against you, esp when you know that it was part of the driving force that got both of you where you are now. I wish you the best, and counseling is worth the time obv in your situation, but barring actual destructive relationship behaviour you have every right to stick to your guns re: the stuff that makes you you.

barring actual destructive relationship behaviour you have every right to stick to your guns re: the stuff that makes you you.

― O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, February 23, 2011 3:15 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

this is the best advice i have ever heard tbh

i am a vegetarian
i like regular blowjobs

[/meat joke]\

feel for u Chris, man. Not sure I have anything helpful to say, except do what is in your heart, and don't front.

thanks all! it does suck and it is pretty hard, i also think my meds dull my feelings too. i have sort of a flat affect around her, or maybe its just her. I think we will probably end up in a "trial" seperation and see how that goes. Just really sucks because of my son.

does she genuinely want to be with you, or just some idealized image of you?

― sarahel, Tuesday, February 22, 2011 5:18 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

i think up until recently she wanted to be with me and now wants an idealized image of me. A lot of her friends from her hometown seem to have it all in her eyes, lots of money, nice big houses, husbands who have high paying jobs....etc...etc. I think she fantasizes about that life sometimes even if she tells me that is not her. She knew I wasn't a college type when we met and hell i had a pretty high paying job in the investment industry for years until i got laid off.

Is something in the air these days? Sorry to hear that news, Chris, and I hope you see a clearer way forward soon.

Roxy's opening post to this thread was so inspirational that I made my own list of "Things that are awesome about breaking up" before the break was even final.

1. Never watch the following again: Family Guy, Seinfeld, Frasier, South Park.
2. Never change my name for anyone.
3. Leave the house whenever I want.
4. Not cook for anyone.
5. Not launder for anyone.
6. Live in Brooklyn.
7. Watch Die Hard 2.
8. Work late.
9. Eat hummus for dinner.
10. Cook meat rare.
11. Sleep alone and undisturbed.
12. Ride my bike everywhere.
13. Move the furniture whenever I want.
14. Not speak to anyone all day.

thing is, if you were some regular straight-laced banker dude she'd probably be bored

i hope things work out, chris

p.s. a lot of my married friends are having the same problem :/ :/

fuck family guy

instant breakup

otm

the worst of all shows

so cheap

I've been doing almost everything on Laurel's list forever, and I've been married for 18 years.

Please tell me about this idyllic experience

It's not as idyllic as you'd imagine--we pretty much have our own separate lives under the same roof. It gets lonely at times.

Actually I was referring to the fact that this is the thread to get over a breakup, you "helpfully" tried to say that it's possible to do those things in a marriage, but you're very often talking about how depressing your life is so these seem like small wins if we're trying to see your life as encouraging.

Is that blunt enough, or did my use of the word "idyllic" not at all sound sarcastic?

I'm not trying to paint my life as encouraging, not at all. I just have a slightly different perspective on things like this than the average ILXor, and I wanted to share.

I fucking hate family guy

NOT FUNNY.

the one thing i like about family guy is he looks exactly like one of my old friends father.

so in three weeks things have gotten worse...at this point my son is recognizing it and saying out loud when we are fighting "STOP IT, STOP IT!" Ive just got to get some things in order and I think im leaving. ugh.

so sorry, chris.

oh dude...that sucks. (hugs)

I'm so sorry that things got to that point. *another hug*

yeah sort of blows...the thought of not being there in the morning to see my son off to daycare is killing me.

sorry dude, that sounds deeply unpleasant

Aw shit, Chris :(

sorry chris.

Jesus Christ. I'm sorry for you and I'm sorry foe your little one.

I don't get her...this morning at 5am before leaving for the airport she woke me, kissed me and said she loved me. First time in months. WTF?

she reads ilx....???

unless you've been lettin her know in other ways how close you are to breaking point?

Maybe even with all the fighting going on and an impending break up, she too will still feel love for you and is pained by the situation. Also, you say she left for the airport, with a (big?) journey ahead she'd want to let you know that?

I don't know. I hope you can both come to a resolution. All the best Chris.

she has no clue what ILX is and wouldn't be interested in anything on ILE or ILM so i doubt that one. I think she senses we may be coming to an end and maybe realizing she doesn't want us to end.

hopefully that can be a positive for you guys?

honestly, i do hope so. i still love her to death but her attitude these days is in the shitter.

aw Chris this stinks :( I hope you two make it through this.

dude take a moment next time you talk to her to just say "when you kissed me and told me you loved me before leaving today, that felt great. i love you too." and just leave it at that w/o adding on the part about how much she sucks lately.

yah gr8080 hugely otm, posi reinforcement can go a million miles relationship ime

Oops, single.

what zora? did you leave?

? !

! That was a bit sudden even after what you've said recently... wha happen!? :(

maybe she made up with him