it was news to you that "women are sluts if they sleep around but men are to be celebrated for it" is a fucked up idea
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 06:49 (fifteen years ago) link
(thanking u tza)
you hate opeth
you would never come to my house! why
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 06:50 (fifteen years ago) link
wait, didn't you live with some weird dude who just disappeared one day???
― penice (velko), Friday, 12 December 2008 06:52 (fifteen years ago) link
haha, my old roommate. he came back. i meant my other house!
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 06:52 (fifteen years ago) link
you made many hilarious jokes about how you were manipulating me
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 06:54 (fifteen years ago) link
your pants are too short
i thought that was cute though, tbh
^^^does not belong on this thread, lol
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 06:55 (fifteen years ago) link
kia kaha, roxy, you are a grand girl imo.
― estela, Friday, 12 December 2008 06:55 (fifteen years ago) link
thanks estela!
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 06:56 (fifteen years ago) link
when you did something fucked up and hurtful to me and i called you out on it your response was essentially "i am sorry you're crazy"
i was incredibly poor on your birthday and i busted my ass to get us underworld tickets which is what you said you wanted (and you invited your friends to come with us, <3 them but srsly dude), i made you a cd of underworld joints, and i bought you a present on top of that and wrapped it in a picture of gaahl from gorgoroth with a speech bubble reading "for you, matt" and a thought bubble with a cartoon cow inside
why did you complain that your birthday sucked, i really did my best
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:00 (fifteen years ago) link
i am going ot punch this dude
― very quotatious (tehresa), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:00 (fifteen years ago) link
this guy seems like a true asshole
― the chef (emeril lagasse ha ha) (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:01 (fifteen years ago) link
u did right to get out rox
oh, that makes it sound like i paid for his friends too, i didn't. they got tickets when he invited them. i guess i just wanted it to be just us :(
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:03 (fifteen years ago) link
you never really took to my cats!!!!
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:08 (fifteen years ago) link
you would always loan me the worst of your shirts when i needed one, like shirts that were XXL and had a restaurants name on them
this is why i stole your enslaved shirt that you bought on our first date and i am not returning it, maybe
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:09 (fifteen years ago) link
you have some seriously dumb male friends, but i guess you only consider women airheads or idiots so its not a thing
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:10 (fifteen years ago) link
^this is a little disingenuous actually
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:11 (fifteen years ago) link
ah fuck it
you would never get up and turn off the light!!!
at my house, i would turn off the light.
why would you never TURN OFF THE LIGHT!!!
RUDE
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:12 (fifteen years ago) link
making a face like you have a bomb to drop and then when questioned abuot it "we have talked about enough serious things today" and go write a secret blog entry or something about it. yes, you are the admin of the relationship and you have successfully /banned me, thankig u
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:13 (fifteen years ago) link
feeling better, thanks all
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:14 (fifteen years ago) link
why was i feeling bad for dumping ^^^this man?
hugz
― very quotatious (tehresa), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:16 (fifteen years ago) link
lou has the right attitude about this kinda thing
― penice (velko), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:17 (fifteen years ago) link
thanks
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:17 (fifteen years ago) link
(cant see youtube at work, is that sebadoh?!!?!?)
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:18 (fifteen years ago) link
you act like michael amott is a second class citizen!
you never made me coffee even once <<<<<<<<<WTF
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:19 (fifteen years ago) link
when i was puking my guts out you jauntily strolled into the bathroom eating a bowl of cereal
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:20 (fifteen years ago) link
ok that was pretty hilarious actually
you watched family guy, but to be fair you were pretty noncommittal about it
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:21 (fifteen years ago) link
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&safe=active&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&rlz=1I7ADBF_en&resnum=0&q=noncommittal&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:22 (fifteen years ago) link
you thought i was having an affair with (lol) CORNY PROG FUCK
ever since i came back from new york you acted like you could give a fuck if i lived or died, why
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:23 (fifteen years ago) link
every time i did a project of any type with other people you complimented the other people's contribs and not mine, not even in private
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:24 (fifteen years ago) link
better to be a passionate fan of bullshit than a vacant dead eyed zombie watching whatever bullshit show happens to be on the air! i know plenty of dudes who would kill to be in this ignoramus' shoes. i mean, not now, but before when he was not living in dumptown
― omar little, Friday, 12 December 2008 07:25 (fifteen years ago) link
the anniversary of our first date, not that i expect you to remember this shit, but you texted me "hope to see you soon"
what the fuck is hope to see you soon
that is fucked up dude
xpost thanks omar
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:25 (fifteen years ago) link
this is dork shit, but i made you a really awesome cd of african tribal chants and shit and you let it gather dust before i forced you to give it a listen then youre like "this is pretty magical!" wow, maybe you could have been interested to hear it at any point
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:29 (fifteen years ago) link
you're too good for this guy. if i ever get to knox i'll give him the ol what for (with my fist).
― omar little, Friday, 12 December 2008 07:30 (fifteen years ago) link
haw
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:33 (fifteen years ago) link
"how fast could i KO this chickenshit hillbilly?"
― penice (velko), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:34 (fifteen years ago) link
haha
i don't wish him ill, yall, im just trying not to focus on the good times here
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:36 (fifteen years ago) link
you made fun of the fact that i said "luda" and "lol" as if this made me a mouthbreathing illiterate or something and then appropriated them for yourself like a week later
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:37 (fifteen years ago) link
youd do the "taking a younger guy under your wing" routine and try to brainwash him into being a fratty asshole
― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 December 2008 07:42 (fifteen years ago) link
try to remember you were dating the next "mystery"
― omar little, Friday, 12 December 2008 07:54 (fifteen years ago) link
oh.. God.. Love. If there's one thing that drives people mad huh?
― loud horn beeping jazzsplaining arse (dog latin), Monday, 9 April 2018 14:04 (six years ago) link
Anyway the moral of the story is: if you break up with someone, even if you think you're able to remain friends in the future, just block them from social media, write down each others numbers, put them in a safe place and delete the number off your phones.
this advice is timely since i woke up this morning to a notification on my fone saying "X has joined Signal!". the only reason she would have installed an encrypted messenger for dorks is that she must be seeing some dork who made her install it. on top of that instagram constantly recommending that i follow her etc etc. our breakup was more or less amicable, she's still a good person and i cherish the years we had, so i feel weird deleting her off my fone. but jesus fuck these social media apps and their notifications just will not stfu
― brendon urine (diamonddave85), Monday, 9 April 2018 14:38 (six years ago) link
we use it as a communication tool especially re: the children but tbh yeah it's not that i'm jealous or wish her anything but joy it's just painful sometimes to see her life with me not in it
― vermicious kid (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 April 2018 14:42 (six years ago) link
and i guess a question for the folks in the thread: how long is too long iyo for the memory to still get you choked up? it's been a year since my breakup and i'd say i'm doing well but whenever i remember my old life, her family, the places we visited, our home, the failed relationship, i still get teary eyed. surely i should be past that at this point?
― brendon urine (diamonddave85), Monday, 9 April 2018 14:44 (six years ago) link
i'll tell you if it wears off. it's been 6 years.
― vermicious kid (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 April 2018 14:45 (six years ago) link
how long is too long iyo for the memory to still get you choked up?
There's no "too long". It's ok. xp
― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 9 April 2018 14:46 (six years ago) link
well good to know that it's normal, thanks all
― brendon urine (diamonddave85), Monday, 9 April 2018 14:48 (six years ago) link
the gaps get wider and the quality of the sadness/remorse changes over time tbf
― vermicious kid (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 April 2018 14:50 (six years ago) link
'these things heal with time'... well yes and no. it ebbs and flows. you might find that three days out of a relationship the feeling of catharsis and relief has you feeling invincible. Eight months later you find an old t-shirt in a drawer...
― loud horn beeping jazzsplaining arse (dog latin), Monday, 9 April 2018 16:04 (six years ago) link
yeah, definitely. during my last big breakup i almost felt guilty about how happy i felt 2 weeks later. i felt like i had a new lease on life, i wanted to go out every night, i started making plans for camping trips and took up duolingo and devoured books in coffeeshops. my ex even got mad at me about how happy i seemed to be, like "why weren't you were like this before? it's all i wanted!" but then a few months later, just unending waves of sadness and regret, no hope at all. but as NV says, the gaps get wider. the euphoria of the near-aftermath dissipates but so do the unexpected crying incidents.
― Karl Malone, Monday, 9 April 2018 16:11 (six years ago) link
otm to all of that. no euphoria here tho, mostly feeling v sad for the other half. which won't do her any good, i know.
― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 9 April 2018 16:23 (six years ago) link
feeling sad for the other person is a big thing. knowing that someone's in pain because of you, well... maybe it doesn't concern some people as much, but for me it's a nightmare.
i'm back at work today after a bit of a break away, and as expected it's a very tense and unnatural atmosphere to be in.
― brand new universal harvester (dog latin), Tuesday, 10 April 2018 13:43 (six years ago) link
you didn't like herzog. or tarkovsky. or free jazz. and you made me turn off king krule and forced me to listen to ray lamontagne. other than that you were a spectacular person. but ... look, i don't even care about the free jazz. but ray lamontagne was a total deal breaker. peace b with u.
― the late great, Tuesday, 10 April 2018 18:34 (six years ago) link
<3
― marcos, Tuesday, 10 April 2018 18:36 (six years ago) link
hahaha
― Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 10 April 2018 18:40 (six years ago) link
the man is a troubadour!
― Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 10 April 2018 18:41 (six years ago) link
lol
― map, Tuesday, 10 April 2018 18:43 (six years ago) link
coming to good consensus music picks is difficult, best to have shared tastes that neither of you are that into for a trial period so you don't come to associate anything you truly love with an ex
― alvin noto (mh), Tuesday, 10 April 2018 18:46 (six years ago) link
Cheers to Noodle Vague, diamdonddave85, and others in the long-term breakup-sadness crew. It's coming up on six years since my big breakup, and it's true, the sadness comes and goes unpredictably.
Tonight I've been reflecting, for about the millionth time, on the fact that there are things she could tell me--about what our relationship was really like for her, especially at the end, and how she perceives it now--that could change the way I feel about myself and my life profoundly. But we'll never talk about these things. I doubt she thinks about them at all now, and I certainly don't want to reveal that I do. For better or for worse, I'll never know. Usually I'm alright with that, given that the truth could devastate me. But sometimes the frustration of not knowing is just too much.
― JRN, Wednesday, 11 April 2018 05:33 (six years ago) link
where is the bottom
― DACA Flocka Flame (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 00:13 (six years ago) link
God you think you're alright, you think you're through it, you feel independent and actually find yourself enjoying the mild thrill of all that. Then you decide to take yourself off somewhere one mildly-hungover afternoon when your senses are a bit all over the place and instantly realise that the only time you went there before was 10 years ago when romance was still blossoming and it was with her and suddenly the emotion it's ambushing...
― Gâteau Superstar (dog latin), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 12:05 (six years ago) link
Hugs dude.
I dunno, those feelings are testament to something that was worthwhile and at least that's something. It beats not feeling anything.
― he's one of our pwn (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 12:08 (six years ago) link
Heard a new word the other day 'tabanca', a West Indian term that Google describes as 'a painful feeling of unrequited love, typically for a former lover and causing unbalanced or violent behaviour'.
― Gâteau Superstar (dog latin), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 12:12 (six years ago) link
Discovered the opposite of a seven year itch. In the last couple of weeks I've dreamt about my ex 4 or 5 times - dreams of still being together or of breaking apart. You're not helping, subconscious.
― moaty, boaty, big and bloaty (Noodle Vague), Monday, 14 January 2019 12:25 (five years ago) link
I wonder if it's a "thing" -- i remember going through it around that time. Realized yesterday that I have no logical reason to have a kitchen table, because I drink coffee in bed and eat in front of the tv, though my ex would have his morning coffee at that table, but he hasn't lived with me for 9 years, so I might as well move that table into the room I use as my office, where it would be useful, and then I can have more room for storage where the kitchen table is now.
― sarahell, Monday, 14 January 2019 19:54 (five years ago) link
I'm sure it is a thing. I'm under the weather and depressive atm and I'm dealing with that consciously as best as I know how so this is Probly some escape valve for my brain. The recurrence is unsettling and annoying tho
― moaty, boaty, big and bloaty (Noodle Vague), Monday, 14 January 2019 20:59 (five years ago) link
also winter
― sarahell, Monday, 14 January 2019 21:02 (five years ago) link
Yeah, especially the darkness
― moaty, boaty, big and bloaty (Noodle Vague), Monday, 14 January 2019 21:06 (five years ago) link
when you find things you hate/have no use for/think are ugly but somehow kept hanging around because your ex liked them and they literally became part of the furniture. Getting rid of those things can be very liberating
― frame casual (dog latin), Wednesday, 16 January 2019 12:21 (five years ago) link
i haven't directly read or watched marie kondo, but as i understand, you should ask yourself if those items bring you joy, and then say thank you to them before discarding
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 16 January 2019 16:34 (five years ago) link
i definitely did not follow that advice the last time i was getting over a breakup. i believe i just held the items in my hand for a while, crying, before throwing them in the garbage and drinking heavily
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 16 January 2019 16:35 (five years ago) link
i moved the table into my office, moved my music gear around to take advantage of the space left by the table and actually played/practiced. I am accepting that I won't have that romantic domesticity anymore, and I'm just gonna be a single person with space to play percussion and electronics and have a bunch of books and that is fine.
― sarahell, Wednesday, 16 January 2019 19:18 (five years ago) link
Drifting towards a similar realisation but not quite at the "it's fine" stage most days
― stuck in the Lidl with EU (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 16 January 2019 19:20 (five years ago) link
heh - it's only been "fine" for 3 days so ... and it's been 9 years since we split. I feel like I suck at getting over breakups considering how long it's been. The other posters in this thread seem way better at it than me.
― sarahell, Wednesday, 16 January 2019 19:23 (five years ago) link
I'm mostly over the breakup, despite the last couple of weird weeks. I think part of the process of getting over it was recognising how much it was my fault, and waking up to my bad behaviour. I think that's also partly why I'm resigning myself to a single future - it's hard to meet people looking for a relationship as you get older, and I really don't feel like I'm a catch, or trust myself to do the work to become one, :/
― stuck in the Lidl with EU (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 16 January 2019 19:31 (five years ago) link
you proposed to plax yesterday!
― topical mlady (darraghmac), Wednesday, 16 January 2019 19:32 (five years ago) link
I know but they never replied ;_;
― stuck in the Lidl with EU (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 16 January 2019 19:34 (five years ago) link
He likes oatmeal iirc
― sarahell, Wednesday, 16 January 2019 19:34 (five years ago) link
anyway <3 to all obv
― topical mlady (darraghmac), Wednesday, 16 January 2019 19:41 (five years ago) link