washing your junk after sex

Gwyneth Paltrow's head

Omfg, dying

the whole 'wallowing in fluids and squelchiness is fun and if you don't like it you're missing the point because it is natural and intimate' thing is kind of a canard, b/c no matter how much i love somebody i am not really aroused by bodily fluids of any stripe i.e. i don't find armpit stank or sweaty backs on myself or others erotic or awesome just ... pleh. the human body is capable of a lot of nasty excretions, and while they might be fun in the mood and the afterglow, at some point you have to realize there are some foul substances lurking

also yeah, sometimes the whole smell is greater than the individual contributions i.e. PENGUINS or THE POLAR BEAR ENCLOSURE

DJP, I'm calling it: you are history's greatest human

getting up, splashing some water from the dipping pool on your junk, tipping the zookeeper and leaving the enclosure after penguin sex, y/n

I use a chamois and turtle wax on my Brazole when I'm done.

If someones junk smells like a polar bear enclosure you shouldn't be fucking in the first olace

Place

plaice

omg

Febreeze is really missing an opportunity.

wait a minute schlump, HOW MUCH are you tipping the zookeeper

gonna agitate hard for "tipping the zookeeper" as official ilx euphemism for beastiality

tippin' the zook ;)

dud or extra dud: people who spray perfume/cologne on their junk

Xxpost Someone pls submit that to urbandictionary

the whole 'wallowing in fluids and squelchiness is fun and if you don't like it you're missing the point because it is natural and intimate' thing is kind of a canard, b/c no matter how much i love somebody i am not really aroused by bodily fluids of any stripe i.e. i don't find armpit stank or sweaty backs on myself or others erotic or awesome just ... pleh. the human body is capable of a lot of nasty excretions, and while they might be fun in the mood and the afterglow, at some point you have to realize there are some foul substances lurking

It's not a "canard", you just have a different opinion about it.

No one wants a vag to smell like Debbie gibsons electric youth

washing your trunk after sex

dud or extra dud: people who spray perfume/cologne on their junk

i had a woman who didn't want to take a shower once and just sprayed herself with perfume, thinking it would be sexy or whatever. it nearly ruined everything - have you ever eaten perfume?

to be actual-tmi abt it remy the deal is this

the human body is capable of a lot of nasty excretions, and while they might be fun in the mood and the afterglow, at some point you have to realize there are some foul substances lurking

for some people "foul" is a fairly fluid term (lol sorry but it really is what I mean). Like, if I'm not having sex with you, and you're at the grocery store pushing your cart up and down the aisles and I push my cart past yours, then I'm going to say "remy smells funky" if you smell like you had sex & didn't shower before you left the house. But if I did rock the sheets* with you last night and the next morning we go out to breakfast and I notice while we're sitting there in public that we kind of stink, the reflective sort of feeling of being in on a shared secret (not that the scent is a secret because lol it stinks but it sort of stands for secret things) is deeper than afterglow stuff, it's intimate. Not actually my thing but not not-my-thing; but I've known people for who it was really true - people whose hygiene was otherwise just fine, but who liked to stay dirty awhile after sex because that felt awesome to them

*this term courtesy joey kramer, gets funnier w/recurring use, trust me

chris's post reminds me of a partic vile punchline tbph

lol darragh

Steven Tyler otm

I have an idea guys, let's spit in cups and swirl it around and then rub it in each other's armpits

This all kind of depends on the sex and the time of day and how much funk you both create. I have been with girls where, after sex (not period sex or anal) getting clean is a pleasure, especially if done in tandem. Otoh, falling alseep in someone's arms where you both smell of comingled bodily fluids and you have that immensely satisfied but langorous post-coital torpor is awesome, too. I'm not a big fan of hard and fast rules w/this. If she wants to get up and pee and wash; cool. If she wants to hang; cool. If I feel gross, I'll get up and wash, even if its only my junk (though I'd be likely to offer her water or tea or something so she doesn't think I'm disgusted by her or put off).

Also PENGUINS!

Wash your junk by post coital teabagging

I just want to point out that you won't have this problem with realdolls

aero's hypothetical situation would never happen to me because I can actually count on one hand the number of times I've left the house without showering or washing up in the sink. That is not something I do.

also I don't really want to be noticing my nutsmell wafting off of my partner's face as I'm trying to eat bacon

Smelling your fingers(and grinning)an hour after sex, C/D?

Post coital batwing

that is a rich sentence there dan
xp

Letting your friends smell your fingers

this problem is also easily solved by only ever having sex in a swimming pool

Ya know I guess if yer into golden showers cleaning up afterwards may be a good idea. Or if you use pastrami-scented contraceptives

another point for penguin sex
xp

nutsmell wafting off of my partner's face

Heard this to the tune of Nat King Cole's 'The Christmas Song'.

phwoooarr mate smell me flipper stroike me daahn guvnor

pastrami-scented contraceptives

Where, um, do you obtain these? (Or do you just keep your condoms in the cold-cuts drawer in your fridge?)

nutsmell wafting off of my partner's face

Heard this to the tune of Nat King Cole's 'The Christmas Song'.

amazing

We need to write those lyrics, folxs.

oh yes

loooool

'darragh why are you whistling christmas songs in august ffs?'

'um....no reason?'

'.......'

roasting your nuts over an open fire after sex

dud

'darragh why are you whistling christmas songs in august ffs?'

'Cause if I sing the lyrics you'll hit me.

latex smell pretty awful too, I guess

it tastes worse

the human body is capable of a lot of nasty excretions, and while they might be fun in the mood and the afterglow, at some point you have to realize there are some foul substances lurking

for some people "foul" is a fairly fluid term (lol sorry but it really is what I mean). Like, if I'm not having sex with you, and you're at the grocery store pushing your cart up and down the aisles and I push my cart past yours, then I'm going to say "remy smells funky" if you smell like you had sex & didn't shower before you left the house. But if I did rock the sheets* with you last night and the next morning we go out to breakfast and I notice while we're sitting there in public that we kind of stink, the reflective sort of feeling of being in on a shared secret (not that the scent is a secret because lol it stinks but it sort of stands for secret things) is deeper than afterglow stuff, it's intimate. Not actually my thing but not not-my-thing; but I've known people for who it was really true - people whose hygiene was otherwise just fine, but who liked to stay dirty awhile after sex because that felt awesome to them

*this term courtesy joey kramer, gets funnier w/recurring use, trust me

― pathos of the unwarranted encore (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, August 2, 2011 7:26 AM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

point taken, a la macbeth: fair is foul and foul is fair. unless we're talking about penguins. in which case fowl is fair.

http://shopathong.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/penguin.jpg