thread to get over a breakup

tá sé ag caint leis an béal bocht imo

just go where the hipsters go and you will be all set.

― bene_gesserit, Wednesday, October 26, 2011 1:15 PM (7 minutes ago)

otm

ZS: former Britpop girls (basing this on the ones I know, who are... me) love skinny boys. I married a man in no small part thanks to my teenage crush on Jarvis Cocker. FIND PULP FANS!

well, lets see my marriage ended in late July...i've been dating a wonderful girl since september. Yes, i didn't wait long, I met her on a whim at a wedding. My marriage was over emotionally 3 years ago. I guess I was just ready.

I think if it feels right, it doesnt matter when you get back on the horse.

it feels really right.

there's also the fact that i'm a sickly skinny dude and that means that 90% of girls reject me on sight.

Excuse me but this is complete insanity.

just think about the poor slobs who are 35, 45, 55 going through this! you have a head start!

yeah, f u

i am one of those poor slobs btw

i'm only 3 years away from the first slob tier :(

can you tell me where these girls are, and if they tend to gather at the same location at a particular time of day

/creepin

― whooooaaaaa! (Z S), Wednesday, October 26, 2011 8:14 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Ummmm hello it is called Bloomingdale, get thee to the Bear like any time day or night!

Don't worry, bell labs, there's room. #occupytierone

wait bell labs?????

wait bell labs?????

formerly known as...

OH HAI!!!!!

Glad to see you back!

wau

Ummmm hello it is called Bloomingdale, get thee to the Bear like any time day or night!

i live a couple blocks away from Big Bear, and yeah, I've been there frequently. :O

also double wau at bell labs

U guize, pay attention.

hi everyone!

i mean...it's like...how long have you been posting here??

i swear, i pay attention, too! or try to.

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/6869/itisamystery.png

i've really only been sporadically posting for the last few weeks and mostly on ILS.

I will add to the "ZS u mad if u think no one likes skinny wan boys" chorus. But, I just get called a creep when I say anything?

Try being my age, no ones interested anymore, tk u gdnite.

i'll have a fight with the fists of anyone who's calling you creep, trayce

just with the fists tho

goddammit, i have no idea how i got into this but somehow i'm looking at a ton of old photobooth pictures

this is fucking terrible

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/ZachRScott/picture3small.jpg

how not to get over a breakup

more evil guide dog!!!

yeah, maybe i'll go home and make evil guide dog come in and poop in my mouth in that picture or something

Now I don't know if I'll get over ZS' breakup.

i know, jeez

oh, there's so much more where that came from

it's like an instant kit to send yourself into a bender

Hahah fight with the fists. <3 btw I think evil guide dog is like, the best thing ever, better than Bender steering with his ass.

You can torture yourself with photos if you really want to. But one of these days you just have to make a choice not to look at them any more. The pain stops feeling good after a while? Or even fulfilling in a masochistic way? It just starts to be really BORING, and takes days to get out of. You can compress the recovery process a little bit with practice, but do you really want to get it from 4 days to 2 days but still be FUCKING MISERABLE for 2 days every time you go look at their fb or crack a photo album?

ehh idk man. i check in and look at what an ex is doing on facebook, &, not to give the impression that i would otherwise be turning up at their window or making breathy nuisance calls, think it's probably not a terrible solution if you're trying to minimise contact, which i think generally people deem necessary or appropriate, while still dealing with the fact that you're attached to someone & invested in their life. i have these adorable screengrabs of me & someone skyping, which are like - okay maybe not at the the actual visual epitome of romance level of z s' photobooth snaps - but which totally summarise us & that time and a place, & i think part of what you get in looking at them is a distance from the people in them. how could you not? and it's not as literal as that, that it helps you move on - MY HAIR WAS LONGER THEN, NOW I AM A CHANGED MAN - but that shit is relics, & you probably get used to understanding them as such. i don't think they should nec be in your OFF LIMITS zone anyway.

so much of "if we were together" is so speculative as to be nonsensical - we would be so happy! presents a v specific imagined course of events - that it doesn't hurt to know people are in a different place and things have changed. not that i am above archeologising past relationships & piecing together their fragments but it doesn't seem as convincing as some of the other elements of having broken up with someone that are hard to deal with.

I look at old photos the same way most people look at the Hindenberg disaster. Must have been pretty emotional at the time, but give it a few years and you have the ability to look at it as clip art.

sometimes a pony is emotional

Unless your girlfriend died on that burning dirigible, then I guess not. nevermind.

xp

would be way easier if i was pissed at her and could draw devil horns and vampire teeth all over the pictures

'emotional clip art' is david berman good

hi bell labs!

Now I don't know if I'll get over ZS' breakup.

― pplains, Wednesday, October 26, 2011 11:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

^^ otm.

I think the 'torturing yourself with photos' as Laurel calls it is not a bad thing per se, it's all part of "getting over a break up" too. Bouncing from feeling ridiculously confident to ridiculously sentimental and melancholy, and all of the many shades in between. Solely speaking for myself here, but going through those numbing highs and torturing lows were necessary to come to terms with things. And it was me even that ended the relationship at the time; but easy, it was not. Not in the least.

I therefore totally relate to you Zach, feeling like it would be easier if you were pissed at her and could justifiably think she was the devil. But sometimes it doesn't play out that way, and reasons in hindsight seem to lie in annoyingly small details and nuances that all add up, in "this just isn't working anymore, fuck, sadly" instead of "she's Satan! gtfo!".

Grant yourself the time to go through those highs and lows. You'll notice soon enough if you either want to go "on the rebound" for the sake of it, or withdraw from anything that even remotely touches on intimacy. Point is: it's all good. After a break up, bad and good experiences will equally help you to get through it. So don't be afraid to screw up now. You can't.

I wish I were still super skinny & sickly and not just sickly

So don't be afraid to screw up now. You can't.

I intend to fully test this assumption, in the name of science.

But for real, that seems like sound advice. And I do like the idea that things could go a number if ways in the next several months, but even the relatively negative experiences are still useful in a way.

LBI otm. Schlump otm. ZS, from WDYLL evidence I have always though you are an attractive dude. There, now it's going to be awkward at the next DC fap (only not really as I am nearly 40)

Z S you are cuet as hell and I dont even have a skinny boy fetish. Were I a passing lady on the street I would turn my head.

Hopefully that gives you intended warm & fuzzy, not ugh crepey gtfo.

Jeez, you all are waaay too kind. But thanks all the same. I owe everyone many fancy beers at the next fap.

(speaking of, we should get on that!)

nominate galway