what's happening to our borad TMI

So, I'm finally getting back to my normal levels of horniness, and my husband just has to throw his back out. Shit.

The ratio of my audible farts vs. my wife's has to be something along the lines of 75:1.

yeah, me too. i'm convinced that if it weren't for the audibility, the quantity might be closer to 2:1, but i'll never know because gf is all coy about it.

one thing you may rest assured of on iltmi: if the subject is farts, Neanderthal is up for the discussion

glad as always to oblige my friends and neighbors. plus, they say "write what you know", so....

true fact: once i accidentally ate a bunch of bread dough. i had the worst gas in the history of gas, just a consistent rumble-tum-tumbling that lasted for hours and didn't smell... normal? ...? human...?...farty? it had kind of a sweet, hoppy, vaguely medicinal characteristic that wasn't even immediately identifiable as flatulance. in addition to being painful, this yeast-gas was inconvenient. i was hosting some out-of-town friends on a jaunt to the Getty museum, and actually succeeded in clearing out a few galleries during our visit. On the way home we were stuck in traffic, and my poor friends were trapped with me in a Corolla on the 405 for the better part of two hours while I blew malign gale-force wind on the minute.

hoppy

OMG YOU WERE FARTING PALE ALES?

I was farting a high wind to jamaica

I'm gonna be honest here. It's probably more like 350:1.

fair and balanced

I went most of my life thinking I wasn't a farty dude. And then I started working nights. Jesus. I don't know why it is just at night, but damn my anus just lets fly.

That's strange; for most people, the digestive system slows down at night.

my anus just lets fly

just . . . no

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no

Chilli for dinner last night: hellloooo fart town.

ANUS: THEY FLY @ U FACE

xp

looooool

I was farting a high wind to jamaica

Harry Belafonte does a great version of that.

I'm gonna be honest here. It's probably more like 350:1.

Feeling this post. No, literally. In 3... 2... 1...

i just farteds?

Oh, and it felt good.

i'm loving the fart ratios. <3 yous guys (so long as i'm never trapped in a car with any of you).

i wonder why that is

btw - how does one accidentally eat a bunch of bread dough?!

xxp if you were trapped in a car with these guys, there'd be enough methane to run the car. You'd never run out of gas!

I currently have a case of the painful gassy shits. OK, which one of you had a stomach bug that's transmissible over the Internet?

i wonder why that is

― sarahel, Monday, November 14, 2011 3:19 PM (12 minutes ago) [IP: 69.106.226.62] Bookmark

Seriously? It's because most women are ridiculously hung up about farting, shitting or anything else having to do with their asses. I found out recently a that a friend of mine who has been with her bf for four years has never farted in front of him. Are you fucking kidding me? How is that even possible. I then found out that she's also never shit at work.

Women have some weird fucking hangups about stuff that we're taught from very early on aren't ladylike. These ratios are BS. Those girls fart just as much they've just become skilled at doing it very covertly.

think u miss understood.

that is so strange! they have that much butt control?

wait, did I? I was skimming, admittedly.

you understood my question correctly, E.

Ah, OK :)

And yeah, idk!! Another friend was present who also said she'd never farted in front of a male. I think there's a lot of going into other rooms and stuff happening with these non-farting type women.

if you insert a vodka-soaked tampon into your anus it absorbs flatulence

hahahahaaha

xp - ENBB - that is still so weird to me! also, the people who don't poop at work, like what? but then i remember that we were both baffled by the very existence of foot flushers. I do wonder if these are the same people.

also - the role of vodka-soaked tampons in oral sex on menstruating women

I am obv 5, because farting still makes me giggle. Except when Mr Veg leaves farts in the car. Then I call my lawyer :(

maybe these ratios would be smaller if men were not always "butt chugging"

I have a friend who wont pee or poop at work. I believe her to be insane.

When I was younger I ate very poorly and had terrible gas and I don't know how successful I was, but yes, a lot of going into other rooms, positioning self by windows, etc.

I'm telling you - there are TONS of girls who won't poo at work. They'll basically hold it until it's an emergency rather than do anything that might let other on to the fact that OMG THEY SHIT TOO.

Yes, these are the things I get into conversations with people about.

I farted while posting that.

i don't get that either. getting paid to shit is da best.
but i also don't like farting around people.
which makes me weird for s dood i guess.

*a dood...

so they're concerned about other people being aware that they poo, or is it about the hygiene of public toilets? like, i'm sure there are people (like the foot flushers) that avoid pooping at work because of that. but i have not done a scientific survey.

The worst is their implication that you're some kind of cretin if you're a chick using a toilet for its intended purpose.

This chick be poopin'. Deal with it.

i don't get that either. getting paid to shit is da best.

HAHAHAHA my bf and I have had a whole convo based around that theory

Guys, I'm gross.

and i don't think the non-work-poopers are wholly female. there was some other thread a few years back where a lot of the guys were against the work shitting too.

xposts

It's some weird politeness/shyness thing gone mad, afaict

You know Sarah I am not a foot flusher but it's got nothing to do with a fear of germs and everything to do with the fact that it's easier to foot flush than it is to bed over.

at the job where i'm paid by the hour, i think i take a dump every single day i work there.

the guys were against the work shitting

Who are these people that have such precise control over their bowels?! That's . . . amazing, tbh.