I went grocery shopping with one over the weekend, it's cool to have relatable people around.
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 03:10 (ten years ago) link
I just broke up with someone who suited me perfectly in every way and I did not dislike one thing about him. It's annoying.
― homosexual II, Tuesday, 17 September 2013 06:32 (ten years ago) link
it still makes me happy to read my OP tbh
xxp
― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 14:43 (ten years ago) link
i see that guy sometimes and he's miserable
lol
YAY!!!
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 14:46 (ten years ago) link
:D
― i'm not racist, i just dislike rap (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 14:49 (ten years ago) link
I kind of hope for the best for all people and that they can learn to be functional humans
that said, the person I posted about years ago is an even worse trainwreck and thank god my life is cool
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 15:05 (ten years ago) link
I am not actually *breaking* *up* w/ ppl per se but there is a person who I have overinvested in and a person who has overinvested in me and I need to retract from both and it is a thing that is kind of real
― Baby, where'd you get Chobani from? (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 15:17 (ten years ago) link
relationship management should be a certified course somewhere
― quite racist, don't mind rap (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 15:51 (ten years ago) link
you hate opeth
<3
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 17 September 2013 15:55 (ten years ago) link
my current boyfriend who i intend to marry also dislikes opeth, but its not combined with all that other stuff so its not unsavory
― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 18:39 (ten years ago) link
uh oh
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 18:41 (ten years ago) link
if we broke up that would be the only thing i could write here. you disliked opeth, but went to see them with me anyway and in fact bought the tickets
― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 18:45 (ten years ago) link
i love that.
― estela, Wednesday, 18 September 2013 00:00 (ten years ago) link
:)))))))
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Wednesday, 18 September 2013 01:00 (ten years ago) link
had a really rough day of missing her like crazy. just chatting about parenty stuff over FB and for a second i want to just mention, casually, that i do miss her very much. but it's finished isn't it and i shdn't do that. right? just back me up here plz.
― ftraight from ye toppe of my Donne (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2013 17:17 (ten years ago) link
Correct.
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Thursday, 19 September 2013 17:21 (ten years ago) link
you're allowed to feel things, just don't linger on it
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Thursday, 19 September 2013 17:22 (ten years ago) link
thanks. just needed reinforcement. :/
― ftraight from ye toppe of my Donne (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2013 17:24 (ten years ago) link
Yeah fraid not man.
― quite racist, don't mind rap (darraghmac), Thursday, 19 September 2013 18:17 (ten years ago) link
:/
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 19 September 2013 19:53 (ten years ago) link
oh nv <3
― mookieproof, Thursday, 19 September 2013 20:00 (ten years ago) link
it passed
there shd be like an AA for ex-partners in moments of relapse
― ftraight from ye toppe of my Donne (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2013 21:22 (ten years ago) link
i will be yr sponsor, NV
― not some dude poking a Line 6 pedal with his dick (sarahell), Thursday, 19 September 2013 21:32 (ten years ago) link
cheers :)
it's a less onerous task than watching out for my booze lapses
― ftraight from ye toppe of my Donne (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2013 21:37 (ten years ago) link
for me they often go together
― not some dude poking a Line 6 pedal with his dick (sarahell), Thursday, 19 September 2013 21:38 (ten years ago) link
I'm not sure why its a bad thing to tell an ex you miss them? :/ I still tell J I miss him, from time to time (and we still hang out a lot so its a silly thing to say!)
― taxi tomato or bag tomato (Trayce), Thursday, 19 September 2013 23:51 (ten years ago) link
I mean you dont want to be all sobby and PLEASE COME BACK TO ME OR I WILL DIIIIIIIIIIIIE, but surely a wistful fond "I miss what we had" is acceptable when it was a marriage with kids ffs
― taxi tomato or bag tomato (Trayce), Thursday, 19 September 2013 23:52 (ten years ago) link
Because the relationship is over? Would you say that to a friend if you were in a committed relationship?
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Thursday, 19 September 2013 23:58 (ten years ago) link
Like if you are no longer in a relationship, you have to look at it as a whole, not the parts. If as a whole you miss the relationship then why are you not in it? If it's some parts, then you can kind of fondly remember and then get the fuck on to more useful thoughts
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Thursday, 19 September 2013 23:59 (ten years ago) link
Some things just aren't made easier by sharing, and unfortunately this is one of them. In fact it's probably worse when you pull this sad blanket back up to your chin. :(
@Trayce: Each person has to respect the other's choices, and part of that is not making them relive the hard things all the time.
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Friday, 20 September 2013 00:02 (ten years ago) link
Would you say that to a friend if you were in a committed relationship?
Yes? Maybe I'm weird :(
― taxi tomato or bag tomato (Trayce), Friday, 20 September 2013 00:10 (ten years ago) link
Me too. You're not weird.
― Lee626, Friday, 20 September 2013 00:20 (ten years ago) link
Hey married lady I miss when we used to do it.
Your single "friend",mh
p.s. Please keep hanging out with me I don't think about banging you that much and I'm sure your spouse won't mind.
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Friday, 20 September 2013 02:56 (ten years ago) link
I wouldnt be thinking about someone that way if they were married, tbf.
― taxi tomato or bag tomato (Trayce), Friday, 20 September 2013 03:11 (ten years ago) link
"i miss what we had" can refer to lots of other things one misses from a past relationship too. I guess i'm not jealous or insecure enough to be bothered or feel threatened by my gf/spouse occasionally wistfully reminiscing about someone that she was once close with.
― Lee626, Friday, 20 September 2013 03:18 (ten years ago) link
I think I would say that I missed something in particular, like arguing over TV or whatever, not "what we had" because what you had was a relaish
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Friday, 20 September 2013 03:22 (ten years ago) link
and hopefully one that enriched both of you in some way, and that you learned from, and can take what you learned into future relationships and likewise avoid repeating mistakes that drove you apart. I would so much rather embark on a new relationship with someone who speaks fondly of her ex even after they've parted ways than someone who has totally cut off communication, or worse, someone who trashes her ex.
― Lee626, Friday, 20 September 2013 03:33 (ten years ago) link
well I am close friends with and speak fondly of my second most recent ex, and occasionally reminisce over fun times we had, but I'm fairly sure her current husband (also a friend of mine) would whoop my ass if I pinged her "hey I miss what we had". but as Trayce said, I don't think people itt are talking about saying it to married folk.
― Neanderthal, Friday, 20 September 2013 03:34 (ten years ago) link
I actually know someone married to an xgf of mine who i've told (if not in these exact words) that I miss what we once had and still think of her alot, but also that I think they're a much better couple than we ever could have been, and I'm glad they found each other and made things work that we couldn't, and he's fine with that.
― Lee626, Friday, 20 September 2013 03:43 (ten years ago) link
I miss all kinds of things I had at different times but expressing that verbally just seems greedy to me, because it's not expressing gratitude for something given? Kind of a semantics thing, but I'd rather say "I appreciated when you'd help me" rather than "I miss when you'd do this" because one is keeping it positive and the other is addressing a change negatively? idk, semantics
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Friday, 20 September 2013 03:44 (ten years ago) link
this is about NV's sitch specifically. i understand sharing & all but whether or not you personally would or would not express those feelings is kinda by the wayside? it's more helpful *in this situation* if he doesn't, empathy being kinda key here
i'm normally the first to barge in with a long explanation of me & my feels so idk why I'm pushing back but
arg
fuckit
as you were
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 20 September 2013 04:22 (ten years ago) link
otm
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Friday, 20 September 2013 04:38 (ten years ago) link
It would be a terrible idea for Noodle to say anything in the circs, agreed
head up NV
― I'm not a rockist, I just hate Rap-A-Lot (sic), Friday, 20 September 2013 04:47 (ten years ago) link
what kept blind-siding me yesterday, keeps blind-siding me tbh, is the things we used to do as a family and the times we shared in love with each other's company. and i had the "is this really the end?" conversation with her 18 months ago, and it's me who needs to remind myself that the situation isn't going to magically change, in fact is probably going to get more finished, at least for her, over time. and any kind of needy, wheedly, "i still miss you" line on my part is really just putting a kind of pressure and a kind of "look how sad you made me" onto her. which she does not deserve.
so when i overlook the reasons that we weren't happy any more just to make it into this "please take me back" scenario well, i'd be lying to everybody, ultimately. i may not feel ready to move on, yet, but i'll deal with that myself and keep remembering that the ship's over the horizon and all i'm sighing after is the smoke.
― ftraight from ye toppe of my Donne (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 September 2013 06:29 (ten years ago) link
i don't think you can ever say any version of "i have feelings for you" to someone in a truly neutral way. there's always a secret appeal.
― ftraight from ye toppe of my Donne (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 September 2013 06:30 (ten years ago) link
any kind of needy, wheedly, "i still miss you" line on my part is really just putting a kind of pressure and a kind of "look how sad you made me" onto her. which she does not deserve.
from that i think you can deduce what you need to do, and what you should (or shouldn't) say to her.
― Lee626, Friday, 20 September 2013 11:37 (ten years ago) link
i knew, i just wanted somebody to agree with me so i didn't lie to myself
― Tyskie in the giro (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 September 2013 11:39 (ten years ago) link
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 20 September 2013 13:59 (ten years ago) link
been two years since my ex-wife and i separated...for all the craziness i do still miss her sometimes. Its normal. 16 years of my life were spent with her, I'll always miss her regardless of the fact that we aren't together and never will be again. Yeah I'm happy now and in a decent relationship, but yes..its totally normal to still miss your ex.
― Cindy Mancini can ride my lawnmower anytime (thebingo), Wednesday, 2 October 2013 16:48 (ten years ago) link