what's happening to our borad TMI

Yep, you just beat Hemingway's baby shoes thing.

Butterfly

O_o

Accidental Brazillian

― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Sunday, August 9, 2015 2:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao

i am just imagining various sequences of events that led to such a thing being accidental

I am just wondering why you thought Brad Paisley would know what he was doing down there

haha

I'm just a guitaaar man
Comin' at you, razor in hand
Tryin' to understand the shape you want down there to be

wow

XD

Amazing.

I had more but I realized I was making up song lyrics about another poster's pubes and had to stop myself

Put it in the xls that if the situation ever arises that there's an opportunity for you to make up song lyrics about my pubes, you have full artistic license.

xpost also brazilians are done w/ wax and not razors smdh

look I just go where the muse leads me

Classic or Dud: When you have a sex dream about someone you kind of know, and (being into it) run with the imagined scenario for masturbatory purposes, only to run into that person hours later (maybe for the first time in like 8 months)?

it's only tmi if you tell em

otm

sex dreams are kind of amazing btw

I've never had a good sex dream until the last year or two. Like, in my entire life. Every time sex popped up in a dream, it would be something like: a woman and me agreeing to have sex, and then walking somewhere to go have sex, and then walking and walking and walking, and then I'd start flying up into the sky like a balloon, and then I'd wake up.

Or we'd agree to meet up later and have sex and then I'd go back into the party and never actually end up meeting her.

Or I'd start frenching her or something and then I'd pull back for a second and realize she had a huge Italian mustache. Those are just a few actual examples. The mustache one was back in high school with my upcoming homecoming date and that kinda ruined everything.

Anyway, recently I've actually started having sex dreams where everything works out alright! I'm worried that it means I'm dying or something.

you are

Classic or Dud: When you have a sex dream about someone you kind of know, and (being into it) run with the imagined scenario for masturbatory purposes, only to run into that person hours later (maybe for the first time in like 8 months)?

― EDB, Wednesday, September 2, 2015 10:02 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"wow, you look as good as you did earlier...when I was....say you know what I have a train to catch, tut tut for now"

That's very close to another exchange I had awhile back re: what became a sex dream.
"I had a weird dream you were in, actually"
"What was weird about it?"
...
"you know, I can't say..."

Actually, I said something like "oh, I responded to your message, and other stuff." She seemed unimpressed at how un-weird it was.

I realized I was attracted to a co-worker after I had a sex dream about him a few years ago, that was kind of weird

Dreaming about sleeping with someone that you really shouldn't have

that second you wake up and realize you had a sex dream about a relative or someone you think of as a relative and want to vom

only children ftw

I had a sex dream about Shaquille O'Neal.

It was awkward

I believe I had kung pao shrimp for the first time last night

In future I will plan on needing an extra 30 minutes to leave the house the next morning

9-yo niece (worst behaved child i've ever been around) still awake at midnight, crying bcz Santa will gyp her

my room is next to hers

raising her has turned my sister into a ranting psycho

bro-in-law got up mid-lunch at restaurant today and said "I may or may not come back."

Christmas is poison; i will be out of the country next year to avoid this shitshow

merry christmas, morbs!

May not return to dinner or to the marriage?

not visiting one's family-of-origin at Xmas is the greatest gift you can give yourself imo, ymmv obviously but my m does not v

F-o-o fighters

not visiting one's family-of-origin at Xmas is the greatest gift you can give yourself imo, ymmv obviously but my m does not v

― tremendous crime wave and killing wave (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Friday, December 25, 2015 4:40 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

feeling this

Two days ago a friend made a joke loosely about waking up with "a cucumber in your butt." Then yesterday I was watching Master of None and there was a joke about a guy with "a cucumber in his butt". So, two references, specifically to cucumbers, and specific to butts, in less than 36 hours (I asked my friend, and he's never watched Master of None). But what does it all mean?

It means people are starting to catch on.

make sure to sanitize the cucumber before eating it

But why is cucumber more popular than/superior to similarly shaped veg?

Did not happen to our board

But why is cucumber more popular than/superior to similarly shaped veg?

Structural integrity.

read "veg" as "vag", had a very different response in mind

vagina-in-butt is the next big thing itt

^^^kinda how chickens have sex tbh

you speak of cloacas

YOU SPEAK OF CLOACAS
*quiet murmuring amongst the crowd*
he CLOaca cloAca speaks of cloACA speaks of he CLOACA
SILENCE barks the medicine man and as one the assembled villagers draw themselves quiet, their frightened eyes peering as one at the outsider
So... the medicine man sits cross-legged before him, one hand sifting the red sand of the ground
So... you want to know of ....
... cloacas...

someone just tried to use my debit card number to make a $233 purchase at PUMA.

thought Munky was doing better than this financially....

My knee finally clicked back into place :)

last night i was trying to get into the groove of some pussy eating and i suddenly realized there was like barely any flesh between my clitoris and a skull, there was basically a big scary skull enveloping to my clit, and i sort of freaked out, imagining this creepy floating skull D:

oh god

moments like these are one of life's little rewards for those of us who've spent years cultivating a very warm and happy feeling about skulls