what's happening to our borad TMI

haha nah

when i was vegetarian i was digesting food a lot faster (fast metabolism)

ie i was taking more shits a day which was ... shitty

i do about one a day these days which is p good practise for me

I have apparently been dehydrated lately and my bowels have been angry about this

5 or 6 times a day sounds like... a real inconvenience!! do you get a lot of stomach pain?

No, no pain. Really nothing out of the ordinary apart from the frequency.

so you're half duck

whatevs

Jeez youd want three a day wouldnt you

Id not be easy without three i think

Six every day maybe a bit much but its nice "me time" too isnt it

As original post confirms i do enjoy a good shite tbf

wow

i have something hard stuck between my teeth

it is either
a) tooth fragment
b) plaque
c) piece of popcorn
d) piece of tortilla chip

My co-worker has an enormous inflamed whitehead at the very top of her back and is wearing her hair up and a shirt where you can see it at all times and it is absolutely KILLING me. POP THAT SHIT.

Oh goddddddd

I almost want to tell her. How can she not know? Something that big has got to hurt. I can't even look at it anymore. I'm afraid I might just reach over and take care of it for her.

Betting that E will have popped it herself in an hour

Xp

can you accidentally drop things on her

"aaahhhh I was just carrying this metal-loop whitehead remover tool and I TRIPPED!!! I JUST STUMBLED AND TRIPPED I'M SO SORRY IT WAS SUCH AN ACCIDENT"

It's the kind of thing I wish I got somewhere on my own person (tho preferably in a non-visible spot) because MY GOD would it be satisfying to attack.

maybe she just needs a little push

tickle it a little for her so she gains conscience of it

ewww

although tbh I'm a big rubbing alcohol/sharp object/neosporin+bandage professional at home

I should probably note that I was up at 2:00 last night watching dr. pimple popper videos because I couldn't sleep. That said, I don't think I could touch something like this on someone I don't know without gloves and all sorts of implements but when i saw it this morning it was like OMFG jackpot. Now it's just taunting me.

sharp object meaning tweezers?

tweezers, safety pin, safety razor blade

i disable all the safeties of course

That's bullshit man pop the fuckin thing cutting it is cheating

sometimes it's too far down and you have no patience

under the skin, that is. not too far down on... well, you know

I had a wisdom tooth out in july and it was so, so much more awful that I'd been led to believe (pain, the extraction with only a local anesthetic, having a giant gaping wound in your mouth, etc).

But the other day I felt something weird near the extraction sit and realized that something hard was stuck to my gum. I finally scraped it off and it turns out it's a chip of tooth or bone that broke off and has been slowly forcing itself to the surface but it came out the side instead of out of the hole. Apparently this isn't uncommon but holy shit it unnerves me.

my parents got sold the full preventative package of tooth maintenance for my mouth when I was a kid, probably because my mom grew up with parents who didn't believe in regular care and is still pissed off about the number of fillings she ended up with as an early teen

so I had four teeth yanked, two that were lingering baby teeth and two that were adult teeth that would have resulted in tooth crowding
then braces
then a couple years without braces
then braces for a few more years
then, right after I entered college, all four wisdom teeth extracted

now they're shifting a little because I felt I was sold a false bill of goods (you'll be all done with this! in a year!) when they told me "btw, here's your retainers, you can wear these the rest of your life I guess"

fuck having teeth is how I break it down to an extent

I bought a bidet. A heated bidet. I am coming up with more excuses to poo every minute.

pooing every minute seems a little extreme

I have no more dangling modifiers; I am whistle-clean

I'd pee sitting down for the promise of a luxurious taint spritz

i went to a podiatrist for the first time in my life 2 weeks ago, had a toenail taken care of

genuinely interested in more information about this heated bidet. a reasonable amount of information, I should say.
are they a thing now?

I keep having mild interest in stuff like that but I live alone and "oh yeah, we have a bidet, isn't that cool" seems like it plays differently than "it's my bidet" as a single dude if someone comes over

i really like bidets, but not the stand alone ones

the japanese washlets are the ones i love -- they're combined with a regular toilet

toto is like the ferrari of bidets if you're interested: https://washlet.totousa.com/index.php

there are some portable ones that you replace your current seat and lid with, but you need to plug it in to an outlet (i think we've touched upon this already on another thread)

once you use it, using toilet paper will sound barbaric

you can even get a built-in blow dryer

my bidet cost $60 on amazon. it fits under the toilet seat. it is neat! it attaches to the hot water line on the sink. there are dials you use to calibrate your perfect bum-washing. with them, you can change the stream's angle to perfectly target your particulars, as well as adjust water pressure and temperature. The spectrum of the latter adjustments allows for customization between slowly trickling Alpine icemelt and F-15 afterburner on full throttle.

the bidet control itself is a little melamine-like two-dial doodad with aluminum knobs that sits just below the tank. it looks very star trek: the original series. the thing has only been in my house one day, but i have already pretended that i am using it to toggle shields and/or speak to a tiny engineer in the medicine cabinet.

only one or two pieces of paper are necessary for blotting dry. i give it **** out of **** little clean rear-ends.

are there presets such that a cohabitant might easily clean his or her rear end in a different manner

"extra wax"

mookie –– no presets. the dials are easily adjustable in exactly the same manner as a regular faucet. turn on, pull up for more pressure. turn left for more heat, right for less. another dial for angle. however! there is also a ladybits cleaner. cohabitant reports aim is appropriate but pressure must be carefully managed.

aww

omg I thought you meant a standalone bidet
I had no idea these things existed
Truly we lived in blessed times

My co-worker has an enormous inflamed whitehead at the very top of her back and is wearing her hair up and a shirt where you can see it at all times and it is absolutely KILLING me. POP THAT SHIT.

She probably ova my knew something was up, but maybe not how awful it was! I had a weird-ass zit behind my earlobe for days -- it seemed big, taught, and painful, but it wasn't until my friend saw it and basically called me a leper and gagged that I realized how gross it was.

It was about the size of a bubble-tea tapioca, very globular, shiny, and red & white.

Seeing it for yourself makes all the difference.

I'd probably have made a run at you with a kitchen knife

i hope you taught it a lesson

hell, at that size it probably was on the verge of growing a mouth and explaining the lesson itself

ate tortilla chips with ghost pepper in them. had a wank an hour later, hadn't washed hands, forgot about chips.

in pain

Oh I've done that. A frisson of excitement that is not worth it

ugh it was bad enough getting toothpaste on it one time in the shower in college

minty

jesus christ, my sinuses are messed up again and I have no idea what I've done wrong

I'm assuming it was allergies and some mediocre nights of sleep that did me in but right now it feels like the eustacian tube on the left side is collapsing and half the time it sounds like I'm in a tunnel