I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

I feel like it was a mistake to do a checklist like that when really the whole weekend was transporting and it's hard to describe and I'm falling for this guy who seems to be falling for me too. The weird thing was we tried all these piggy things together but it felt super safe. The sounding was really really really hot, like seeing white lights with your eyes closed hot.

clouds your foursome hiking crew sounds super fun.

Reading anything about sounding is literally TMI for me.

Carry on, please; that's what the thread's here for--just know that I'll be sitting here crossing my legs.

this guy just fucking came out of nowhere and now i feel like i'm sprouting or shedding old skin or something.

xp lol

also i got a new fb friend, this gorgeous black-jamaican model with a seventh day adventist upbringing, by calling him 'unfailingly polite'. he was expertly fielding advances from an annoying af son of an R-Ohio congressman who honestly just needed a spanking but wasn't appealing enough even for that. i could have a lot of gay friends in town if i just moved towns. salt lake city feels like a soiled crib to me right now. which reminds me, the guy i was with this weekendpissed on his mattress and we bought a steam cleaner from target for it and it took three days to dry out. i also peed in a glass and threw it on him while he was in the tub like surprise!

still gotta sing tlc's waterfalls for like two minutes to get the yellow tho ;_;

home alone and bored once, i tried sounding with the wooden end of a paintbrush. i get it.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

not sorry (^ ^)v

sounding is fucking terrifying to me, y'all are brave

why does it have such an innocuous name

lol

during a frenzied bout of drunk sex last weekend i hurt my boyfriend's butt real bad, he's still in discomfort. i'm not sure exactly what i did but it involves (whispers) hemorrhoids. he's going to the doctor about it so i feel pretty beastly and horrible.

in exchange, he gave me a big, angry-looking hickey.

oh ouch

the hickey is pretty hot though

i have a fissure from years ago that never really healed. i finally have a gp i gotta see about it. before i fly out to dc again over thanksgiving XD XD XD

his hemorrhoids are one of several persistent factors that conspire to make anal sex more or less impossible for us, i hate them

ugh that sucks. does sitting on it help? i feel like that's the gentlest way. let's be honest, anal is a bit of a war zone and the scars / ptsd are real.

of course my gp's next available appointment is january 3rd. wtf?

yeah he does have ptsd from a history of childhood abuse and then there's the question of, uh, fit.

i mean it's not a threat to our relationship after 9 years together but i know he'd like to, i'd like to, we just... can't.

yeah i hear you. is that one of the reasons why you guys opened it up?

not particularly, though i have enjoyed the new freedoms

Inspecting with a frown the makeup aisle at Target for covering cream to take care of a hickey while surrounded by young girls + their moms was one of last spring's best experiences.

hahaha

damn y'all

i don't think i'm cut out for sounding considering how irritating i find it when like, a stray pube gets stuck in there

also i didn't know rim-chairs were a thing! seems like kind of an investment for a v. specific purpose (one site has them for $150-170)

one of my worst hookups ever involved him giving me a hickey so i'm sort of pre-disposed to disliking them

i've had a WS-in-bed experience - my stream was kinda watery so the clean-up wasn't too bad

it's getting serious. there is a very abnormally close and comfortable connection happening, and i can see it working over time. i want to be there for it. i'm probably moving in the next three months. i'm really stoked.

My ex-lover in a particularly abusive convo among many abusive convos told me "you're a lousy bottom" so I've been practicing on my own and it's been a real eureka

Also, I was urged by a friend to "date normal people for once in your life" and so I went on two dates with a very normal man, and toward the end of the second date we agreed that there was no attraction between us but that it was nice to have a new friend!

On election night he told me that I was actually one of his closest friends now (less a result of quantity of time spent together and more the level of friend-rapport we have) and I was touched. I told him I didn't want to wake up alone in TrumpLand and he enthusiastically agreed to stay over and we had sex that was a. extremely good and b. free of emotional fraughtitude. Didn't know this was a thing that could happen, that sex could have all the romance of a game of squash but still be terrific.

"Sex with all the romance of reading The New Yorker" is my life.

omg omg fgti welcome to this new and magnificent world

that sex could have all the romance of a game of squash but still be terrific.

oh-yeah.gif

but romance tho. guys. i gave two weeks notice at my job yesterday. i'm buying a one-way ticket to d.c.

fuck yes

big moves!!! wtg map, it takes courage

I'm sorry if this isn't allowed but I am bored and I just read a bunch of this thread and holy fucking shit I just looked up sounding and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. You are brave and I salute you.

not me, that kinda brave i want no part of.

had me vacation sex already, bloke from Reading.

good job!

an inspiration to us all

Was it on the plane?

that wd be gauche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrM39m22jH4

My Uber driver and I had a moment. He was streaming Trump's speech on his phone. He voted for Hillary, but he said he wanted to hear everything Trump said so he was always prepared. He was from Sudan. Gay and lesbian issues came up and he said he had 2 gay male friends in Sudan whose lives were in danger and a straight fried here who was "almost gay" (and he said that Kuwait has the biggest population of MSM in the world??). He asked me stuff about being gay and said he'd always dated women but it wasn't weird for him for being men to like men, or women to like women, but he'd never tried it. I asked him if he'd thought about it and he said yes, but it just never happened. We got to my stop and we chatted for a minute and he said he enjoyed talking with me and said he'd give me 5 stars. I asked if he ever wanted to try anything and he said "Yes... but maybe not right now." He asked for my number, but I declined and we chatted for a couple minutes, touching lightly on sex stuff. I stepped out of the car and he talked a little more while I was standing there, saying he enjoyed our talk. I asked if I should get back in the car, but he was reticent and I wanted to go home, so I said goodnight and he said, "Goodnight, Jesse. Maybe see you again, yeh?"

Hoping for yeh

Planned to go with a friend to the bar on Friday night but we ended up hanging & making out, resulting in my first honest to goodness dicking down. I'd flip fucked once before with this friend but that was about the extent of my experience bottoming, but this was a for-real pounding & it was great. I'm evolving, or something.

stretching is good for you

I truly need to work on my hip flexibility, tbh

A new addition to the lexicon of smut:

We're all familiar with spit roasting, and hopefully God has smiled on many of us. But for those of us who are craving that particular experience, but cannot fulfill the personnel requirements, there is a solution. While allowing your lucky roastee to suck your d, manage a dildo in their ass end. Sort of an automated two-person spit-roast. This is called: a rotisserie

guys i have so so so much to add to this thread now that i am newly single

funniest being that i just got a call from the guy who left my house 30 min ago bcz he left his wedding ring on my nightstand but can't come get it bcz he's driving home to baltimore rn

http://images.junostatic.com/full/CS2097582-02A-BIG.jpg

I had

Wait is this thread or board googleproofed? I hope so.

I had a wild night with a straight muscle boy. Sex and drugs and electronic music. He had been at work and showed up with high viz gear on and covered in work-dust. "Can I have a shower?" ( this was pre-discussed) yes of course. He strips and, fuck, crazy hot bod. Lovely face, wonky teeth that I liked. Made him look more interesting.

Anyway! Yeah. 12 hours of naked fun including wearing jock straps and cowboy hats and taking lines. It got a bit depraved, I may expand later. Said he'd been doing manual labour but was driving himself crazy during work thinking about cock!

He says he's straight but bored with women. I'm not one who cares that men call themselves straight and have gay sex. People cAn call themselves what they like IMO.

Probably the craziest sexual night I've ever had.

I mean I'll say more once I know the deal with privacy here.