I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

My Uber driver and I had a moment. He was streaming Trump's speech on his phone. He voted for Hillary, but he said he wanted to hear everything Trump said so he was always prepared. He was from Sudan. Gay and lesbian issues came up and he said he had 2 gay male friends in Sudan whose lives were in danger and a straight fried here who was "almost gay" (and he said that Kuwait has the biggest population of MSM in the world??). He asked me stuff about being gay and said he'd always dated women but it wasn't weird for him for being men to like men, or women to like women, but he'd never tried it. I asked him if he'd thought about it and he said yes, but it just never happened. We got to my stop and we chatted for a minute and he said he enjoyed talking with me and said he'd give me 5 stars. I asked if he ever wanted to try anything and he said "Yes... but maybe not right now." He asked for my number, but I declined and we chatted for a couple minutes, touching lightly on sex stuff. I stepped out of the car and he talked a little more while I was standing there, saying he enjoyed our talk. I asked if I should get back in the car, but he was reticent and I wanted to go home, so I said goodnight and he said, "Goodnight, Jesse. Maybe see you again, yeh?"

Hoping for yeh

Planned to go with a friend to the bar on Friday night but we ended up hanging & making out, resulting in my first honest to goodness dicking down. I'd flip fucked once before with this friend but that was about the extent of my experience bottoming, but this was a for-real pounding & it was great. I'm evolving, or something.

stretching is good for you

I truly need to work on my hip flexibility, tbh

A new addition to the lexicon of smut:

We're all familiar with spit roasting, and hopefully God has smiled on many of us. But for those of us who are craving that particular experience, but cannot fulfill the personnel requirements, there is a solution. While allowing your lucky roastee to suck your d, manage a dildo in their ass end. Sort of an automated two-person spit-roast. This is called: a rotisserie

guys i have so so so much to add to this thread now that i am newly single

funniest being that i just got a call from the guy who left my house 30 min ago bcz he left his wedding ring on my nightstand but can't come get it bcz he's driving home to baltimore rn

http://images.junostatic.com/full/CS2097582-02A-BIG.jpg

I had

Wait is this thread or board googleproofed? I hope so.

I had a wild night with a straight muscle boy. Sex and drugs and electronic music. He had been at work and showed up with high viz gear on and covered in work-dust. "Can I have a shower?" ( this was pre-discussed) yes of course. He strips and, fuck, crazy hot bod. Lovely face, wonky teeth that I liked. Made him look more interesting.

Anyway! Yeah. 12 hours of naked fun including wearing jock straps and cowboy hats and taking lines. It got a bit depraved, I may expand later. Said he'd been doing manual labour but was driving himself crazy during work thinking about cock!

He says he's straight but bored with women. I'm not one who cares that men call themselves straight and have gay sex. People cAn call themselves what they like IMO.

Probably the craziest sexual night I've ever had.

I mean I'll say more once I know the deal with privacy here.

sounds fun!

nothing wrong with cowboy sex

just had to chime in and say i agree with the last two posts

We're all familiar with spit roasting

uh, what? nev heard that one. i don't talk to other gays much, certainly not about sex.

anyway, jed, i hate u (not really)

i shouldn't have anyone over til i'm sure my bedbugs are gone, right?

hi heathens this thread is totally deindexed, transgress away

hi!

I'm ready to get spit roasted.

wow i never thought this day would come

Having accomplished ftgi's rotisserie experiment, it's in the bag

wow I have never been spit roasted OR Ronco'd!

how does Ronco-ing work?

being spit roasted is amazing especially if the two tops love and support each other and get off on how hot the other looks fucking you <3 (have been both roaster and roasted A++ would recommend)

I recommend everything that gets you to nut, tbh.

I realize this advice hasn't come from my corner much ... like ever.

http://www.amyglaze.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/DSC_1022.jpg

Throw that dreary thing away, it bores me.

I detest cheap sentiment.

i still don't know wtf you hoes are talkin' about

spit roasting is when you roll around in place while someone "bastes" you

wow so i got invited to an impromptu memorial day b(ear)bq earlier today that turned into a game of strip Cards Against Humanity which turned into a 6-deep hot tub orgy which turned into an attic sling moment

also the couple who hosted the party has a kid who goes to stay w his mom on the weekends and when I went to the bathroom afterwards there were like legos and bath toys all over which was kind of a strange juxtaposition w like, uh, post-orgy clean-up

hahaha awesome

ok so

last weekend I was at a bar in NYC with one of my gay besties (we have always been strictly platonic and have never fooled around in any capacity), and this dude from across the bar hits me up on Scruff, and we get to chatting, and then he comes and hangs out with us and there is this strange thing happening where my friend and I realize that this is likely leading to a threesome, enough that we established ground rules w/ each other while our new pal was in the bathroom, so of COURSE this leads to a threesome where my friend is only a top, this dude is only a bottom, i am vers, my friend and i do not want to have sex with each other, and his dick is bigger than mine, which all just boils down to this dude sucking my dick while my friend fucked him from behind, and my friend making ridiculous exasperated faces at me and me trying really hard not to laugh.

this guy's Scruff handle was "handnbum" so I try to fist him for a bit which was actually p fun except that he was NOT uh "prepped", which I realized but did not quite grasp the extent of, so after 10 minutes I pull my hand out and it is COVERED in wet shit, and I casually try to just go wash up but he only has lavender foam hand soap and I washed my hands twice and it still smelled REALLY bad.

the threesome ended shortly after, like 20 or 30 minutes after it started, with no one cumming and everyone apologizing to each other, and then I have to go catch the Chinatown bus and my hand REEKS of shit (which fyi smelled like ammonia and bad breath) and I could smell it while I was on my phone with my hand like a foot away from my face. My hand continued to smell like shit even after a third hand scrubbing and a shower the next morning, and it eventually dissipated after about 24 hours.

don't fist people if they're not clean.

well that was sumthin

lordy

Note to self: do not read this thread over breakfast.

but after lunch

on the vanilla side, I actually hit on a guy at the leather night at the Park Slope bar. We were making out pretty furiously, and I leaned into him at one point, he slipped, and we both toppled to the floor. (I think I'll fuck him this weekend.)

hey has anyone done escorting on rent.men? i'm in a spot right now and i need cash. any advice / experiences appreciated.

i almost set up an account then chickened out. if i was single i'd do it.

I love my boyfriend and wish I enjoyed bottoming

I’m practicing daily but it’s just a verbal butthole and this kind of explosive “fine I’ll come if you stop this” response from my body

Do we have a non TMI gay thread anymore or is this the main ILX Gay hangout now? I’ve lost track of the chain of linked and bookmarked seasonal threads. Heh.

new one is called "call me by your drag name" iirc

Had a ""brilliant"" idea to get myself photographed in a kind of cosplay-but-fashion look, then subsequently rendered-in-illustration in a "fantasy novel cover" style, for press shots, and got a couple stylist friends to help, dropped $400 on clothing rentals, booked the shoot for Monday, then woke up this morning with the beginnings of a nasty cold sore under my nose. Have subsequently spent the day taking 2 grams of lysine every hour to make it stop, make it go away. I am shitting like my asshole is a faucet

My boyfriend has only experienced one of my cold sores in the year we’ve been dating, and he knows that I get depressed and become a shut-in for five-to-seven days while the herpes is painful and weirdly low-grade encephalitic in my brainpan. He rather sweetly texted me “I know they depress you, but don’t worry, let’s take the day off tomorrow and get drunk and smoke weed and fuck all day”. I laughed and laughed. I cannot wait to tell him later why that is not how it works and that’s a terrible idea all round.

fgti yer a mess :)

i hope the fetish site i frequent survives the congressional crackdown that's killed Craigslist personals

Because I haven't mentioned it yet ITT, I enjoy cumming when there's someone else in the room or more than one other person in the room.

I can't even read cummings by myselff

A for e.e.ffort