what's happening to our borad TMI

https://media1.giphy.com/media/ozmcaOBoLSY2k/giphy-downsized-large.gif

xxp

dude there's wienerschnitzels all over the usa i hope u kno

OMG, that thread

I didn't come here just for the schnitzel but I'm gonna relish the show nonetheless

japanese toilets >>>>>>>>>>> sit-down without shelf >>>>> sit-down with shelf >>>>>>>>>>> squat

could poll but you know

ballot poll with photos maybe

come for the schnitzel, stay for the schitz-shelf

Is this boiard ready for a poll of best shelf shits?

i will participate butt it should be said my bum has met its toiletmate

no it is not a poll of shit shelves it is (or would be) a poll of toilets, some of which have shelves, most of which thankfully do not

but I mean did I say clearly enough how raw the shelf action is?

it would be weird if it was cooked tbf

Who the fuck cannot flush without turning round is this some strange new disability I haven't come across

xxp

are these toilets suitable for all butt types?

my workplace has toilets that flush automatically, but I feel checking to make sure a second flush isn't needed is still common courtesy

I've only passed through dublin airport so I don't know the irish scene but there are a lot of different kinds of flushers and some just aren't amenable to the sit and spin. in this hotel room for instance it's a big fuckin slab I have to press and it's kind of high up relative to the toilet so I'm not gonna contort like that just to avoid admiring my magnificent creation

you might just need to wipe, stand fully erect, turn and flush once

but i mean

are you a three point shooter or a slam dunker though?

I'm tony dungy

don’t turn around, don’t wipe, don’t flush imo

just power out of the cubicle and get on with your life ffs, time’s a-wastin

The toilet equivalent of all net baby I don't hit porcelain until the deposit is ten metres outside the house

xp

the ol hit n run

shit n run pls

One of my saddest regrets in life was not needing to poop when in the Singapore airport, the only place I’ve ever encountered squat toilets.

tub fart is science fart because tub fart lets you see the bubbles continue to dribble out and rise long after the internal physical sensation has ended, scientifically confirming that farts begin before you feel them and continue after you don't

my new hypothesis is that we are always farting, and it is scientific because it can be tested and disproven. but it's totally right

I am always farting tbh

i just like how the bubbles feel as they rise to the surface, especially if they do so frontward

I’ll take one hydrobubble massage, please. With extra bubbles.

more of a second thought but

i have actually hit the ceiling in my younger days

she hit the roof immediately after, metaphorically. it was her sister's kitchen. talk about harshing my buzz.

Garlic Farts...

nice,

c'est bon

Garts

never noticed allium making any inroads on fragrancing my farts.

brassica on the other hand. oh boy.

listening to Bruce Hornsby, masturbating

(glad I remembered the comma)

thanks for checking in!

were you using zing in the other hand

"Listen to the Mandolin Wank..."

Some things'll never change...

Super spicy Sichuan hotpot apparently falls into the “hurts going in and out” category, along with Thai food. Mexican and Indian are in the “hurts going in only” category.

gf got me a squatty potty for xmas. absolutely loving it tbh

really? like a major difference?

yeah, just satisfying good transit at normal times, less strain at bad times. not a game-changer if you have like serious constipation issues or whatever i wouldn't think, but definitely an improved way of crapping

only a fool with no self-respect would neglect to master the art of the dump

also this being tmi i can say this: i have always been a more frequent shitter than the average person (my dad occasionally would call me by the nickname "Pato" - duck in Spanish - when i was growing up) so marginal gains in that department are maybe more important to me than other people.

feel like the squatty potty works as a tool to retrain your stance and muscle memory to the extent you're doing things more effectively even without it, eventually

I got a colonic once and the woman automatically put the squatty potty thing in front of the toilet after.

It was an odd day when I got a sponsored FB ad with the header "<Vague Crush> Likes SQUATTY POTTY".

But not as odd as when I'd be up late and see she'd tag her then-boyfriend in the comment sections on stories about anorgasmia and related topics.

had blood in my stool recently so tomorrow I'm getting a camera put up my butt (not a colonoscopy, literally just a camera into the anus to look for internal hemorrhoids)

Oh damn! Hope you're alright!

I had my first bout of prostatitis last week and boy howdy was that some pain! Fortunately, I ran right up to the urgent care clinic and the cipro they gave me took care of things in about a day.

i'll be stoked if i have internal hemorrhoids tbh. not unduly worried about anything more nefarious at work