what's happening to our borad TMI

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Yikes! Good wishes for you and all your seeping holes.

edited for dog profanity (sic), Friday, 30 October 2020 02:39 (three years ago) link

Wound Vacuum, don't know where pump came from.

So many people have handled my genitals and butthole the past few days.

"what are you DOING to fleetwood mac??" (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 30 October 2020 18:56 (three years ago) link

Saying hello and get better Grisso

From the toilet, where i am currently sitting

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Friday, 30 October 2020 18:59 (three years ago) link

Man, that is rough. I remember my diabetic sister having to deal with an abscess right at the top of her ass crack. I don’t recall antibiotics trouble, just a PHN coming every day to change out the packing materiel.

just1n3, Friday, 30 October 2020 22:40 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

^^^ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pilonidal-cyst/symptoms-causes/syc-20376329

They're supposed to be so painful. A coworker had one last year and it took months to heal.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Sunday, 10 January 2021 11:30 (three years ago) link

To clarify - I don't have one. I was saying (two months later) that that was what Justine's sister probably had.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Sunday, 10 January 2021 11:31 (three years ago) link

I've had one, two of my kids have had them, my father had one, both of my parents-in-law have had one. They are a drag.

All cars are bad (Euler), Sunday, 10 January 2021 14:07 (three years ago) link

five months pass...

Lads this pfizer vax #1 has turned me into a violently farting engine

Eschew things thirty two times before swallowing them (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2021 23:51 (three years ago) link

Nah bro it’s the veggie burger and chips

calstars, Wednesday, 30 June 2021 00:05 (three years ago) link

one year passes...

hemorrhoids keep getting worse and worse until sitting down just becomes difficult. #thisis41

Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 10 November 2022 23:14 (one year ago) link

Be thankful they’re not thrombosed
If they are I’m really sorry for you dude

calstars, Thursday, 10 November 2022 23:37 (one year ago) link

Up that fiber and lower that cheese intake

calstars, Thursday, 10 November 2022 23:38 (one year ago) link

They're not thankfully.

That's the problem, addicted to cheese

Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 10 November 2022 23:42 (one year ago) link

Cheese is delicious in all of its variations

calstars, Friday, 11 November 2022 00:18 (one year ago) link

Fiber pills have been helping a lot. I was having to do prep H suppositories for a while just to get things under control.

Muad'Doob (Moodles), Friday, 11 November 2022 01:00 (one year ago) link

tofu cheese maybe?

please do not misread that with my display name in mind

there are some pretty tasty non-cheese cheeses out there. and if your eyes have not yet been opened to the glory of #bidetlife, then a world of bliss awaits u

“humanity, whom I love” (cat), Saturday, 12 November 2022 23:53 (one year ago) link

tofu cheese maybe?

Gross

calstars, Sunday, 13 November 2022 00:08 (one year ago) link

there are some pretty tasty non-cheese cheeses out there.

Like Tostitos queso dip? Fuck yeah

calstars, Sunday, 13 November 2022 00:09 (one year ago) link

cat entirely otm

do you have one of those donut pillows? having spent much of the past 20 years in a van, I bought one & remembered to bring it with me on my int'l trip this time. it is, to put the point directly, saving my ass.

J Edgar Noothgrush (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Monday, 14 November 2022 08:55 (one year ago) link

I don't but I think it's time to get one!

Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Monday, 14 November 2022 12:51 (one year ago) link

yeah just search hemmorrhoid pillows. there's inflatable ones people use or there's cushion ones. they help if you gotta SOA a lot.

J Edgar Noothgrush (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Monday, 14 November 2022 16:52 (one year ago) link

one year passes...

Having to simultaneously piss and shit while stuck in a one on one meeting was fun.

Ended just in the nick of time

Disco Biollante (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 16 January 2024 20:46 (eight months ago) link

The meeting or the waste elimination? Or both?

Great-Tasting Burger Perceptions (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 16 January 2024 20:49 (eight months ago) link

Had to read that a few times

Boris Yitsbin (wins), Tuesday, 16 January 2024 20:50 (eight months ago) link

xpost lol the meeting.

Disco Biollante (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 16 January 2024 21:09 (eight months ago) link

Having to simultaneously piss and shit while stuck in a one and two meeting was fun.

Evan, Tuesday, 16 January 2024 21:12 (eight months ago) link

Once they commit to giving you a raise, just let it all go.

underwater as a compliment (Eazy), Tuesday, 16 January 2024 21:14 (eight months ago) link

a situation commonly referred to being "on the ones and twos"

Muad'Doob (Moodles), Tuesday, 16 January 2024 21:15 (eight months ago) link

Once they commit to giving you a raise, just let it all go.

― underwater as a compliment (Eazy), Tuesday, January 16, 2024 4:14 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

[face increasingly red and twisted] "Thanks so much hnnngh can I get that in writing please? hnnnngh yeah, now?"

Evan, Tuesday, 16 January 2024 21:19 (eight months ago) link

Stuck in the middle with you

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 16 January 2024 22:40 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

been backed up lately, so took fiber gummies. woke up needing to take a big dump. they shut our water off before I made it to the can.

I know u get 'one flush' when the water is off and then u gotta add water to the tank to flush after that. I don't got that kinda energy, but it's been two hours now so...I might gotta go that route.

will keep you apprised of all crucial developments in this, #dumpgate

CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 16:35 (six months ago) link

why is the water shut off? were you given advance notice?

from a prominent family of bassoon players (Boring, Maryland), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 16:38 (six months ago) link

to fix a water heater. they emailed us, like. the moment they did it. that's their M.O.

CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 16:39 (six months ago) link

"one hour", they said

CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 16:40 (six months ago) link

three months pass...

I've been dealing with sinus congestion for the past two weeks. One of my favorite disgusting sensations is when you're blowing your nose trying to clear out seriously clogged sinuses and you blow so hard that tears shoot out of your eye. It's happened to me several times over the course of this illness.

https://www.livescience.com/why-blow-nose-water-squirts-out-of-eye

peace, man, Friday, 7 June 2024 17:52 (three months ago) link

a kid from

close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Friday, 7 June 2024 18:05 (three months ago) link

a kid from the estate across the road just took a shit across from my house

close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Friday, 7 June 2024 18:05 (three months ago) link

like in your yard?

Iacocca Cola (Neanderthal), Friday, 7 June 2024 18:27 (three months ago) link

nah tbf at least it was across the st

close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Friday, 7 June 2024 18:36 (three months ago) link

nature is healing

c u (crüt), Friday, 7 June 2024 19:43 (three months ago) link

my dog almost did a shit in someone's driveway. I quickly pulled him out of the front of the driveway when he got into the squatting posture. He doesn't normally even shit on pavements but this was clearly an emergency, and horror of horrors he had diarrhea. I couldn't even hope to try bagging it. Someone was giving me daggers and I speedwalked the fuck away from that scene!

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Friday, 7 June 2024 19:50 (three months ago) link

the key to playing that off isnt shame, it's staring daggers back and scream whispering "u know what u did"

polyamerie "it's more than this 1 thing" (m bison), Friday, 7 June 2024 19:52 (three months ago) link

the dog I housesat for 10+ years died this week. I walked him for probably the last 8 years and his poops were just about as consistent as you could ask for, right down to where he'd go.

but like...they'd be big, and so to try to make the scooping easier, my friends bought this like humongous, heavy steel poop-scooping contraption, where you'd work the levers and it'd put the heavy arms under the turd, then you'd reverse whenever you were ready to drop it into something.

they got rid of it in like two months and they told me I was the only person who had ever successfully used it

Iacocca Cola (Neanderthal), Friday, 7 June 2024 20:00 (three months ago) link

like it looked like it was made for a 15 foot tall monster

Iacocca Cola (Neanderthal), Friday, 7 June 2024 20:01 (three months ago) link

xxp

lol, at least that approach would allow me to shake off the overbearing feeling of moral cowardice!

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Friday, 7 June 2024 20:02 (three months ago) link

theres nothing to be done with diarrhea i mean its just a shrug.jpg situation

close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Friday, 7 June 2024 20:54 (three months ago) link

my dog once pooped on the damn stairs of my building when we were going down, and it wasn’t even a diarrhea situation, like what the hell, man

brimstead, Friday, 7 June 2024 20:56 (three months ago) link


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