what's happening to our borad TMI

Up that fiber and lower that cheese intake

They're not thankfully.

That's the problem, addicted to cheese

Cheese is delicious in all of its variations

Fiber pills have been helping a lot. I was having to do prep H suppositories for a while just to get things under control.

tofu cheese maybe?

please do not misread that with my display name in mind

there are some pretty tasty non-cheese cheeses out there. and if your eyes have not yet been opened to the glory of #bidetlife, then a world of bliss awaits u

tofu cheese maybe?

there are some pretty tasty non-cheese cheeses out there.

cat entirely otm

do you have one of those donut pillows? having spent much of the past 20 years in a van, I bought one & remembered to bring it with me on my int'l trip this time. it is, to put the point directly, saving my ass.

I don't but I think it's time to get one!

yeah just search hemmorrhoid pillows. there's inflatable ones people use or there's cushion ones. they help if you gotta SOA a lot.

Having to simultaneously piss and shit while stuck in a one on one meeting was fun.

Ended just in the nick of time

The meeting or the waste elimination? Or both?

Had to read that a few times

xpost lol the meeting.

Having to simultaneously piss and shit while stuck in a one and two meeting was fun.

Once they commit to giving you a raise, just let it all go.

a situation commonly referred to being "on the ones and twos"

Once they commit to giving you a raise, just let it all go.

― underwater as a compliment (Eazy), Tuesday, January 16, 2024 4:14 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

[face increasingly red and twisted] "Thanks so much hnnngh can I get that in writing please? hnnnngh yeah, now?"

Stuck in the middle with you

been backed up lately, so took fiber gummies. woke up needing to take a big dump. they shut our water off before I made it to the can.

I know u get 'one flush' when the water is off and then u gotta add water to the tank to flush after that. I don't got that kinda energy, but it's been two hours now so...I might gotta go that route.

will keep you apprised of all crucial developments in this, #dumpgate

why is the water shut off? were you given advance notice?

to fix a water heater. they emailed us, like. the moment they did it. that's their M.O.

"one hour", they said

I've been dealing with sinus congestion for the past two weeks. One of my favorite disgusting sensations is when you're blowing your nose trying to clear out seriously clogged sinuses and you blow so hard that tears shoot out of your eye. It's happened to me several times over the course of this illness.

https://www.livescience.com/why-blow-nose-water-squirts-out-of-eye

a kid from

a kid from the estate across the road just took a shit across from my house

like in your yard?

nah tbf at least it was across the st

nature is healing

my dog almost did a shit in someone's driveway. I quickly pulled him out of the front of the driveway when he got into the squatting posture. He doesn't normally even shit on pavements but this was clearly an emergency, and horror of horrors he had diarrhea. I couldn't even hope to try bagging it. Someone was giving me daggers and I speedwalked the fuck away from that scene!

the key to playing that off isnt shame, it's staring daggers back and scream whispering "u know what u did"

the dog I housesat for 10+ years died this week. I walked him for probably the last 8 years and his poops were just about as consistent as you could ask for, right down to where he'd go.

but like...they'd be big, and so to try to make the scooping easier, my friends bought this like humongous, heavy steel poop-scooping contraption, where you'd work the levers and it'd put the heavy arms under the turd, then you'd reverse whenever you were ready to drop it into something.

they got rid of it in like two months and they told me I was the only person who had ever successfully used it

like it looked like it was made for a 15 foot tall monster

xxp

lol, at least that approach would allow me to shake off the overbearing feeling of moral cowardice!

theres nothing to be done with diarrhea i mean its just a shrug.jpg situation

my dog once pooped on the damn stairs of my building when we were going down, and it wasn’t even a diarrhea situation, like what the hell, man

The effort of finding this thread overwrote in my mind what I wanted to post about

Drinking one last Dogfish 60 before Ubering to Megadeth

I think the last time I got puke drunk was when I drank several Dogfish beers without realizing they had a very high alcohol content.

Drinking one last Dogfish 60 before Ubering to Megadeth

this blackhead that keeps resurfacing on my partner's back for the last decade is my nemesis, my white whale