The magic of a perfect bowel movement

I have the relationship of a 75-year-old person with my bowels. So emotional!

And sometimes a great BM is the world's best feeling.

man, i feel u on this one

i love this thread

No reading, ever. I want to know each moment, as they come...

sooooo true. i think i'll go create some magic right now :)

My concern is more over toilet paper habits. Usually those who have a difficult time flushing are the one's who treat the toilet paper roll like cats, batting at the thing with their claws non-stop until there's a mountain, then dropping it into the bowel.

Fold people, fold

I don't allow myself much self-pity and when I do, I try to keep it to myself, at the very least, maybe sharing with my wife.

However, that year between having a portion of my colon removed and all the crazy stuff that happened afterward took away one of the true joys in life - the magic of a perfect bowel movement.

I'm just now getting back to where I was before 7/11/07, and let me tell you, it's been a journey of many steps toward what hopefully one day will once again be a fantastic reward. In the meantime, I take comfort in the small advances I make and I certainly don't take anything for granted.

I mean, I've felt like a goddam rabbit for the past year.

That seriously sucks. PP, I wish you a lifetime's supply of flawlessly-sculpted poop logs and Ben Watt's shoulder to cry on.

Pooping 3-4 times per day tends to make the BMs a fuck of a lot less special.

Morning. Afternoon. Evening.

And if I'm a really good boy, a bonus BM at an unexpected time.

I mean, yeah, all that said, I do get a lot of reading done these days.

damn you crohn's disease

just delivered a lil' lovely unto the god of the porcelain lo 'bout an hour ago. ahhh, baby; so pretty...

I am a very lucky guy in this regard.

Pretty much the only memorable part of The Fisher King for me is Robin Williams talking about the "Mystic Shit."

http://www.xefos.com/images/album_covers/mystical.jpg

It feels good to release a heavy turd but it feels even better to receive one in your hands.

one in the hands is worth two in the bush

DUH, I meant a turd in the hand is worth two in the bush

I wish my apt had one of those gravity johns so I didn't have to plunge the fuckin thing every time I go #2

seriously my gf got a brand new gravity crapper installed in her condo a while ago and that thing will probably swallow a rolled-up pair of wool socks without complaining. the shitcan in my basement one bedroom can barely handle one of my dinkleberries without predicating a work order

sounds like a shitty toilet!

i once left a guy in the toilet at college that actually bridged the drain on the toilet bowl, and simply would not be flushed. it just sat there.

roommates and i named it 'parker' and took turns pissing on it, cuz the stream acted like a saw doo u c

"a guy"

haha

have you ever made one so big you're like "whoa how did that fit inside me and how did it get out"

not that i have, just asking. out of curiosity.

constipation --> its horrific opposite --> constipation --> its horrific opposite

^side effects ride on my drug regimen; Happy New Year

I am certain that my institution has downgraded toilet paper brands in the past month, making every bowel movement "imperfect".

why do I have this thread bookmarked

confused as to why tp brand or quality has anything to do with the perfect bowel movement, after which (as we all know) only a one-square-wipe is required (and that only for reassurance)

lockdown has been good to me in some regards

- jaysus that shite was as good as a ride

― talking heads, quiet smith (darraghmac), Wednesday, September 21, 2011 9:02 PM (eight years ago)

weve all had one cmon

just wondering if lockdown is being that good to you

the bishop wouldnt ask you that