Poop...

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So, how often do you drop a log daily?

Poll Results

Option	Votes
Twice a day	15
Once a day	13
Less than once a day (every couple of days)	7
Holy crap more than three a day	6
Three times a day	2

― Beast, Friday, 3 October 2008 16:27 (seventeen years ago)

tough question. I think there is going to be some battleground votes

― CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 16:29 (seventeen years ago)

quality over quantity, man...

― Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 16:32 (seventeen years ago)

What if you do one a day one day and two the next and then three the day after that and none the fourth day, how the hell are you supposed to vote with those options?

― not_goodwin, Friday, 3 October 2008 16:38 (seventeen years ago)

Yes, the options here are mathematically dishonest and are trying to paint a misleading picture. Let me speak to your supervisor.

― Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 16:39 (seventeen years ago)

eat lots of plums!
xpost

― Zeno, Friday, 3 October 2008 16:44 (seventeen years ago)

*plop*

― al kaline trio (dan m), Friday, 3 October 2008 16:45 (seventeen years ago)

Well it's just kind of a "regularly..." thing. I mean, my shit schedule changes a lot, but regularly I would say once a day.

Before that it was once every couple of days. Which can't be good for anyone.

― Beast, Friday, 3 October 2008 16:46 (seventeen years ago)

mine makes even me faint

― Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 17:53 (seventeen years ago)

3-4.

― Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 18:26 (seventeen years ago)

Really gets annoying.

― Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 18:27 (seventeen years ago)

damn, 3-4? do you have a portable device attached to your sphincter for the moments that are inconvenient?

― Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 18:27 (seventeen years ago)

It's not actually that hard to hold the poop until it is convenient.

― Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 18:32 (seventeen years ago)

I dunno, you kinda sound like Robocrapper

― Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 18:36 (seventeen years ago)

I had a friend that pooped a lot

― CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 18:52 (seventeen years ago)

Crapping 3-4 times per day >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> wiping 3-4 times per day, just FYITMI.

― Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 19:52 (seventeen years ago)

i don't get it. what's wrong w/ yr butt libcrypt? i only poop once.

― lil yawne (harbl), Friday, 3 October 2008 21:32 (seventeen years ago)

Ever? Damn dude, musta been huge if it was an all-encompassing turd.

― Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 21:40 (seventeen years ago)

bo jackson overdrive and captainlorax having a conversation about poop is truly our lowest common denominator isnt it

― a passion for posting (J0rdan S.), Friday, 3 October 2008 21:44 (seventeen years ago)

I'm on meds that make me crap often.

― Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 22:03 (seventeen years ago)

can a mod move this thread to I Love TMI?

― ian, Friday, 3 October 2008 22:25 (seventeen years ago)

I was thinking that would be a good idea.

...any objections?

― I'm the wire monkey, not the soft monkey (Rock Hardy), Friday, 3 October 2008 22:30 (seventeen years ago)

"I had a friend that pooped a lot"
-that's the type of random insight that cracks me up (of course it would be funnier to hear this in a different scenario)

I feel like I have mastered the "it's funny because it's wrong" type of humor.
Maybe my friend pooping is not the shiniest example. But there's more to this type of humor than meets the eye. You should try experimenting with it around your coworkers... seriously. There's many derivatives of this humor worth exploring (especially stupidity), and some that just aren't very funny. But if you make yourself laugh, that's better than nothing.

Pooping While On The Phone

― CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 22:37 (seventeen years ago)

now that the secret of my stupidity is out, my randomness wont be quite as funny anymore :/
well at least to my fans. i still think it's funny

― CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 22:49 (seventeen years ago)

that's the suckiest bowel movement ever. eh? eh?

― CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 22:52 (seventeen years ago)

SCENE II:

Dusk. A clean but dimly-lit basement room, empty except for a table, two chairs, a toilet, a roll of Charmin and a Hitachi Magic Wand.

― I'm the wire monkey, not the soft monkey (Rock Hardy), Friday, 3 October 2008 22:53 (seventeen years ago)

I'm just waiting for someone to say - "You were never funny"
that would crack me up.

― CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 22:53 (seventeen years ago)

Go chop a tree down lorax.

― Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 23:19 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Saturday, 4 October 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

Are there any ladies here?

― The More You Live The Faster You Will Die (Bimble Is Still More Goth Than You), Saturday, 4 October 2008 23:57 (seventeen years ago)

Everyone know that ladies don't poop!

― quincie, Sunday, 5 October 2008 00:32 (seventeen years ago)

i'm a lady!!!!

― lil yawne (harbl), Sunday, 5 October 2008 00:36 (seventeen years ago)

YOU ARE VIOLATING THE LADY CONTRACT

― quincie, Sunday, 5 October 2008 00:54 (seventeen years ago)

but pooping is liberating and empowering

― lil yawne (harbl), Sunday, 5 October 2008 02:39 (seventeen years ago)

Not to mention lightening.

― Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Sunday, 5 October 2008 03:36 (seventeen years ago)

poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

― tony orlando and dawng (PappaWheelie V), Sunday, 5 October 2008 03:57 (seventeen years ago)

Why the fuck this thread got to float to the top of the new answers bowl when im eating some delicious pizza

― The Atlantis Mystery Solved! (Frogman Henry), Sunday, 5 October 2008 04:07 (seventeen years ago)

dude, considering your ilx history here....!!!!

― tony orlando and dawng (PappaWheelie V), Sunday, 5 October 2008 04:08 (seventeen years ago)

it's true. i'm all about the pizza.

― The Atlantis Mystery Solved! (Frogman Henry), Sunday, 5 October 2008 04:10 (seventeen years ago)

"Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!"

― Ioannis, Sunday, 5 October 2008 18:28 (seventeen years ago)

Who wrote that? I'm drawing a blank. Was it Donne? Swift?

― Fr. Jemima Racktouey (ENBB), Sunday, 5 October 2008 18:30 (seventeen years ago)

NM - my friend Gooogle confirmed it was Swift.

― Fr. Jemima Racktouey (ENBB), Sunday, 5 October 2008 18:32 (seventeen years ago)

yep.

― Ioannis, Sunday, 5 October 2008 18:39 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Sunday, 5 October 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

more than 50% of poll participants shit two or more times a day. How do you people have time for jobs?

― ShNick (Upt0eleven), Sunday, 5 October 2008 23:26 (seventeen years ago)

who says you can't work on the can

― jonty alouette (electricsound), Sunday, 5 October 2008 23:27 (seventeen years ago)

I was sweating just waiting for the results.
but thank god, I'm average.
now no one can dispute my pooping preferences.

― CaptainLorax, Sunday, 5 October 2008 23:44 (seventeen years ago)

more than 50% of poll participants shit two or more times a day. How do you people have time for jobs?

^^^ toilet sitta

― Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Monday, 6 October 2008 04:14 (seventeen years ago)

I'm more surprised that so many people don't even need to shit every day. How is that possible?

― Tuomas, Monday, 6 October 2008 06:24 (seventeen years ago)

o, the humanity!

― Ioannis, Tuesday, 7 October 2008 08:23 (seventeen years ago)

three months pass...

― CaptainLorax, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 06:35 (sixteen years ago)

one year passes...

Seems like the denizens of this board would be interested in this site:
http://www.poopandmemory.org/

― jaymc, Friday, 30 April 2010 17:53 (fifteen years ago)

two years pass...

as i reach for the last half inch of a nearly depleted french press of coffee even though i am already highly caffeinated, i notice the colonies of floating grinds and am fully aware that i am most likely going to trigger a sizeable pooping event. every gulp leads me closer to the glorious conclusion

― Z S, Friday, 25 January 2013 18:34 (twelve years ago)

*gulps* *farts*

― Butt Trump tweet (Matt P), Sunday, 27 January 2013 06:21 (twelve years ago)

I really hate pooping.

― cloacachella (how's life), Sunday, 27 January 2013 11:38 (twelve years ago)

Somebody should make a poop centrifuge for people who hate pooping. You get into it, it spins you round really fast, and centrifugal force just pulls the poop out of you.

― Prisoner: Cell Block J/K (snoball), Sunday, 27 January 2013 12:46 (twelve years ago)

Pooptrifuge(tm)

― Prisoner: Cell Block J/K (snoball), Sunday, 27 January 2013 12:49 (twelve years ago)

Then they could get William Shatner to do the adverts.

― Prisoner: Cell Block J/K (snoball), Sunday, 27 January 2013 12:52 (twelve years ago)

pooptrifuge.com - no-one register that domain, I've got dibs on it.

― Prisoner: Cell Block J/K (snoball), Sunday, 27 January 2013 13:20 (twelve years ago)

one year passes...

yesterday it felt like I was trying to pass that rolling ball from Raiders of the Lost Ark

― Neanderthal, Friday, 20 June 2014 01:44 (eleven years ago)

I don't know if that's good or bad

― Dreamland, Friday, 20 June 2014 01:47 (eleven years ago)

painful but reverent

― Neanderthal, Friday, 20 June 2014 01:49 (eleven years ago)

Haha, a word that has never been attributed to poop by anyone ever

― Dreamland, Friday, 20 June 2014 01:59 (eleven years ago)

four years pass...

being awakened by one’s need to shit is never good

i mean it’s better than *not* being awakened by one’s need to shit, but how about we just leave all the shitting to normal daytime hours

― mookieproof, Friday, 27 July 2018 09:47 (seven years ago)

t/s: being awakened by one's need to shit vs being awakened by someone else's need to shit

― a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 July 2018 10:41 (seven years ago)

vs failing to awake despite one's urgent need to shit

vs one's urgent need to shit triggering a narcoleptic episode

― Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 July 2018 13:23 (seven years ago)

*dreamcatcher*

― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Friday, 27 July 2018 13:38 (seven years ago)

one's urgent need to shit triggering a narcoleptic episode

s(h)itcom waiting to happen imo

― a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 July 2018 13:45 (seven years ago)

Sacha Baron Cohen's next project.

― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Friday, 27 July 2018 13:51 (seven years ago)

just read this at snopes...

In 1965 a ‘grossly obese’ man survived without eating for 1 year and 17 days. He lived entirely off his copious body fat and vitamins, and ended up losing 125kg [276 lb] of weight with no adverse effects. Also, he only pooped every 40 – 50 days

― Kim Kimberly, Friday, 27 July 2018 13:52 (seven years ago)

He later became the 45th President of the United States.

― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Friday, 27 July 2018 13:55 (seven years ago)

Pooping should be a glorious ritual reserved for the early morning, immediately before showering

― F# A# (∞), Friday, 27 July 2018 14:53 (seven years ago)

I mean, if you want to jump the gun and pretend that there isn't a perfectly functional drain in the shower, sure.

― Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 July 2018 15:38 (seven years ago)

IMPORTANT: Steven Bochco fired the lead actor from MURDER ONE because his morning dump made him an hour late to set every single day. Please RT! pic.twitter.com/xLHorB33KL
— Max Silvestri (@maxsilvestri) July 26, 2018

― mookieproof, Friday, 27 July 2018 21:39 (seven years ago)

murder two morelike

― a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 July 2018 21:47 (seven years ago)

that's so hilarious to me. just how recalcitrant about it he was

― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Friday, 27 July 2018 22:01 (seven years ago)

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