Should giving head be generally reciprocal?

I like giving and receiving oral sex, and I've always sorta assumed it should be done reciprocally: I do it to you and you do it to me. Of course sometimes it might be one-sided for various reasoms, and that's perfectly fine. But what if you're always the one giving it and never receive it? I can understand it if the other person simply finds giving oral sex disgusting, but what if it's more of a question of the other person being to lazy to do it? Is it selfish to assume that if you give it you also get it back?

Depends on the partners' predilections. I don't think you can *expect* anything to be automatically reciprocated. If there is something that you specifically want that a partner never does, you can ask. It sounds like a communication problem as much as a laziness problem.

Personally, I actually really enjoy giving, but really dislike receiving. And various lovers have always persisted "oh, but you'll LIKE it the way I do it..." which is just not true. It's one of those things that I will kind of *let* a partner do occasionally if it makes them really happy, but I don't particularly enjoy.

Which leads to these absurd situations where I suspect they're doing it out of a false sense of obligation for reciprocation under the delusion that they are going to *make* me enjoy it, when really it's something I'm suffering for their sake. You know, if you want to send me into orbit, sexually, there's several other distinct things you could be doing, but there's this delusion among post-feminist men that somehow cunnilingus is *the* way to be "Good In Bed"... (cue Julie Burchill)

I know, I know, getting in Jagger territory, there may well be men who enjoy eating pussy for the sheer joy of the taste/sensation/whatever. But it's always felt like they were doing it because they thought that's what it takes to satisfy a woman - and it just doesn't satisfy me.

I see your point, but in my experience for many women getting good cunnilingus is something they enjoy and something that makes them come more easily, which is why I generally tend to do it in bed. I do find it perfectly enjoyable though, so it's not like I'm only doing it out of some feminist sense of obligation. I have, however, learned that if my partner says she doesn't really enjoy cunnilingus, even my superior skills are unlikely to change that... :)

Head = (1/Head)

??

Is it selfish to assume that if you give it you also get it back?

I think it's silly to assume, which is why you discuss these things at some point between or previous to head-giving sessions. These things needn't be a mystery between one and their partner.

I have ticklish knees and often if I'm being given head, her boobs will stroke them and put me off. That's the only reason I don't like receiving.

must have some long boobs or high knees

or a short dick

/autozing

actually i think itd have to be a long dick

I have ticklish boobs and often if I'm giving head, his knees will stroke them and put me off. That's the only reason I don't like giving.

Pussy eaters do my head in; discuss

I guess they're more comfortable with an innie and are a little rough with an outie.

If you think in terms of should, then yr sex life will suffer commensurately.

I.e., Sex isn't a democracy, Tuomas.

how would you calculate the majority vote for a start

Sex isn't a democracy, Tuomas

This really should be the board description.

I know no one "should" do anything in sex or that isn't a democracy, but don't don't you think there should be a certain reciprocity in sex in general, at least if you're having a longer sexual relationship with someone? "I give you pleasure and you give me pleasure". At least that's been the case with almost all of my relationships. Wouldn't it bother you if it was always one-sided?

sometimes people just like giving.

i'm actually not a huge fan of getting. i mean it's fine. the right person is great. but whatever. i know WEIRD.

it is better to give than to receive. or so i've heard...

what do Christians know?

Sometimes there's an equal exchange of pleasurings. Sometime's there's not, and the imbalance isn't necessarily in favor of one particular gender. You just have to navigate things and figure out what makes sex work in the context of whatever kind of relationship is in play at the moment. There's no universal should or shouldn't here. For a dude as sexually experienced as you, Tuomas, I'm surprised that you don't realize this.

I used to date a chick who got pissed off if she didn't have five orgasms during one sexual escapade (to my one). That really wasn't so fair and balanced, now was it? It worked out fine in our relationship until one day I decided to skip 3 or 4 and she dumped me like a couple days later. Moral of the story? Always take one of those counting clicker things to bed.

What?! That's absurd in so many ways.

Wouldn't it bother you if it was always one-sided?

no, not if ur on the receiving side my dude

I'm a bit glib about it, but that's basically the truth. She wanted someone more focused on her sexual needs, which is fine. I just wasn't that dude. In all fairness to me, though, she was really incredibly sexually demanding, and I think a lot of guys wouldn't have been able to keep up.

Anyone who needs to have five orgasms during each sexual encounter is probably a little off.

Anyone who goes to math grad school is also probably a little off, not entirely coincidentally.

not necessarily but if not then at least make the tea after ffs

orig q oddly myopic imo. sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't

Myopic to assume reciprocal oral is focused on a nut imo

yr right of course i just liked my joek :(

I used to date a chick who got pissed off if she didn't have five orgasms during one sexual escapade (to my one). That really wasn't so fair and balanced, now was it? It worked out fine in our relationship until one day I decided to skip 3 or 4 and she dumped me like a couple days later. Moral of the story? Always take one of those counting clicker things to bed.

― NJ Sucks (libcrypt), Friday, October 10, 2008 10:51 AM (6 years ago)

http://replygif.net/i/440.gif

i think that dude is married fwiw

had one ex who very much reciprocated in terms of one for one but the amount of time I was expected to stay down there was insane some nights.