how often do you masturbate

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right?

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Once a day 6
More than once a day 4
Once a week 3
Irregularly 2


been HOOS, where yyyou steene!? (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 8 March 2009 00:19 (sixteen years ago)

kinda limited options here homie

wow heaven is cool (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 8 March 2009 00:22 (sixteen years ago)

Although it does reveal exactly how often hoos masturbates.

I f'd up the word rear (Z S), Sunday, 8 March 2009 00:27 (sixteen years ago)

lool

been HOOS, where yyyou steene!? (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 8 March 2009 02:08 (sixteen years ago)

i knew i was missing a step

been HOOS, where yyyou steene!? (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 8 March 2009 02:08 (sixteen years ago)

Man, I am so far behind the curve on this one.

Note to self: be more sexual.

I can't even quote Woody Allen here. Masturbation is sex with an annoying cunt I hate, but can't bring myself to ever actually leave.

Dances With Psychedelic Owls (Masonic Boom), Sunday, 8 March 2009 11:10 (sixteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Monday, 9 March 2009 00:01 (sixteen years ago)

[people on the internet zing]

been HOOS, where yyyou steene!? (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 9 March 2009 00:18 (sixteen years ago)

[they do?]

Mark G, Monday, 9 March 2009 10:13 (sixteen years ago)

lovin this guy

been HOOS, where yyyou steene!? (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 9 March 2009 10:20 (sixteen years ago)

lol

Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Monday, 9 March 2009 12:26 (sixteen years ago)

Maybe I should do a reverse Lent, and like, masturbate every day for 40 days (get Sundays off, though) whether I feel like it or not, and see if it improves my mood any.

Dances With Psychedelic Owls (Masonic Boom), Monday, 9 March 2009 13:09 (sixteen years ago)

(get Sundays off, though)

this WAS intentional, wasn't it?

czech blastcore and superHOOS culture (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, 11 March 2009 04:59 (sixteen years ago)

Need new subcategory poll for the more-than-once-a-day-ers.

Eazy, Wednesday, 11 March 2009 05:14 (sixteen years ago)

Twice a day on days when I'm not having sex.

too many misters not enough sisters (milo z), Wednesday, 11 March 2009 22:23 (sixteen years ago)

thanks for that.

Plaxico (I know, right?), Thursday, 12 March 2009 00:45 (sixteen years ago)

Hey, no complaining - it's called TMI for a reason!

I made you a Justice bass sound, but I EATED it (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 12 March 2009 10:16 (sixteen years ago)

well, I was the one lurking, I think that's probably creepier!

Plaxico (I know, right?), Thursday, 12 March 2009 10:37 (sixteen years ago)

I only really ever get the physical urge to actually wank, like, *right* before my period. In fact, sudden random horniness is a pretty good indication it's in the post.

I made you a Justice bass sound, but I EATED it (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 12 March 2009 12:07 (sixteen years ago)

two years pass...

BRAZIL, May 11, 2011.- A woman aged 36 was enabled by the justice to masturbate in her workplace because she has a strange disease.
This is the story of Ana Catarina Bezerra Silvares, an employee of an accounting firm, a divorced mother of three who lives in the village Vila Velha, Espírito Santo.

The woman suffers from a rare condition known as “compulsion orgasmic”, caused by a chemical alteration in the brain region of the cortex, which leads her to masturbate several times a day to relieve the deep anguish that it causes.

Under this circumstance, Bezerra started legal proceedings with the company where she works that eventually won and that enables to masturbate for 15 minutes every two hours, besides using the computer to see erotic images that stimulate her desire.

The Brazilian newspaper North Regiao reported that the woman confessed, “There was a day I had to masturbate 47 times”, adding: “I began to suppose that this could not be normal, and decided to seek help.”
Currently, Bezerra follows a treatment that includes a potent cocktail of sedatives which gets her to “only” masturbate 18 times a day.

http://m24digital.com/en/2011/05/11/the-court-ruled-in-her-favor-and-now-she-can-masturbate-at-work/

sam500, Thursday, 19 May 2011 01:10 (fourteen years ago)

o_0

Trip Maker, Thursday, 19 May 2011 15:29 (fourteen years ago)

that actually sounds like it really sucks

las bolas de sudor (Neanderthal), Thursday, 19 May 2011 15:31 (fourteen years ago)

wow

hillybilly death worship (absolutely clean glasses), Thursday, 19 May 2011 15:31 (fourteen years ago)

I'm amazed they didn't toss the case out.

Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 19 May 2011 15:41 (fourteen years ago)

Apparently, this is a month-old hoax that has been enthusiastically copied by just about everyone by now.

http://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&twu=1&u=http://trimiliquis.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/a-falsa-masturbadora-maluca-de-vila-velha/

StanM, Thursday, 19 May 2011 15:43 (fourteen years ago)

Mixtape title of the year, right there.

more horses after the main event (Eazy), Thursday, 19 May 2011 15:43 (fourteen years ago)

Worsens when the portal comes from a nonsense, because if you get to auntie and say 'look, this here is fake! "She rub A LINK in your poke. E aí? So?

las bolas de sudor (Neanderthal), Thursday, 19 May 2011 15:44 (fourteen years ago)

the translation's even better than the story

she rub A LINK in your poke (Neanderthal), Thursday, 19 May 2011 15:45 (fourteen years ago)

The deep mental anguish of not having an orgasm right now is pretty much what we call life, amirite?

boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Friday, 27 May 2011 02:36 (fourteen years ago)

^^^^

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 29 May 2011 00:06 (fourteen years ago)

i've resorted lately to thinking up what female friend would be the best candidate to become a FWB...

lolford brimley (Neanderthal), Sunday, 29 May 2011 00:33 (fourteen years ago)

also twice per day, sometimes three times

lolford brimley (Neanderthal), Sunday, 29 May 2011 00:39 (fourteen years ago)

Maybe you should start holding auditions.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 29 May 2011 20:08 (fourteen years ago)

the FWB thing is still uncharted waters 4 me

LL Coolna (absolutely clean glasses), Sunday, 29 May 2011 20:39 (fourteen years ago)

I used to think BFF was some sort of acronym for something similar.

I'd watch that Paris Hilton show and think "What is she going to do with the winner then?"

Mark G, Tuesday, 31 May 2011 08:20 (fourteen years ago)

I prefer "shagbuddy" to FWB as how to view it.

The man who mistook his life for a FAP (Trayce), Tuesday, 31 May 2011 10:04 (fourteen years ago)

In Finland we have two terms: "vakipano" ("steady fuck") is for someone with whom you're having regular, no-strings-attached sex, but you don't necessarily hang out with her; and "panokaveri" ("fuck friend") is for a friend with whom you might occasionally have sex.

Tuomas, Tuesday, 31 May 2011 11:17 (fourteen years ago)

which is different from sweden, where they have terms "steady friend" (someone who you're friends with regularly but never have sex with) and "fuck fuck" (someone you fuck all the time, regardless of whether he/she is your friend).

and you are a part of everything and everything is like melting (ytth), Wednesday, 1 June 2011 06:21 (fourteen years ago)

and "fuck fuck fuck" is for when you hit your hand with a wrench when fixing your car.

Mark G, Wednesday, 1 June 2011 08:58 (fourteen years ago)

lol

whenever the vein was to throb (the table is the table), Wednesday, 1 June 2011 21:52 (fourteen years ago)

two years pass...

predict thread connections will see a lot of action tonight

too busy s1ockin' on my 乒乓 (wins), Friday, 7 June 2013 22:15 (twelve years ago)

What is that mushroom/glans/upside-down vajayjay type thing speaking the text balloons supposed to be, btw? xpost

StanM, Saturday, 8 June 2013 04:34 (twelve years ago)

http://www.gamification.co/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/HPT-1-168x300.png

Treeship, Saturday, 8 June 2013 04:36 (twelve years ago)

I may never be able to fuck again after seeing that cartoon vagina. Thanks Obama!

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Saturday, 8 June 2013 06:22 (twelve years ago)

you're welcome

pink, fleshy, and gleeful (sic), Saturday, 8 June 2013 06:24 (twelve years ago)

omg obama

Treeship, Saturday, 8 June 2013 15:30 (twelve years ago)


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