how often do you masturbate

kinda limited options here homie

Although it does reveal exactly how often hoos masturbates.

lool

i knew i was missing a step

Man, I am so far behind the curve on this one.

Note to self: be more sexual.

I can't even quote Woody Allen here. Masturbation is sex with an annoying cunt I hate, but can't bring myself to ever actually leave.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

[people on the internet zing]

[they do?]

lovin this guy

lol

Maybe I should do a reverse Lent, and like, masturbate every day for 40 days (get Sundays off, though) whether I feel like it or not, and see if it improves my mood any.

(get Sundays off, though)

this WAS intentional, wasn't it?

Need new subcategory poll for the more-than-once-a-day-ers.

Twice a day on days when I'm not having sex.

thanks for that.

Hey, no complaining - it's called TMI for a reason!

well, I was the one lurking, I think that's probably creepier!

I only really ever get the physical urge to actually wank, like, *right* before my period. In fact, sudden random horniness is a pretty good indication it's in the post.

BRAZIL, May 11, 2011.- A woman aged 36 was enabled by the justice to masturbate in her workplace because she has a strange disease.
This is the story of Ana Catarina Bezerra Silvares, an employee of an accounting firm, a divorced mother of three who lives in the village Vila Velha, Espírito Santo.

The woman suffers from a rare condition known as “compulsion orgasmic”, caused by a chemical alteration in the brain region of the cortex, which leads her to masturbate several times a day to relieve the deep anguish that it causes.

Under this circumstance, Bezerra started legal proceedings with the company where she works that eventually won and that enables to masturbate for 15 minutes every two hours, besides using the computer to see erotic images that stimulate her desire.

The Brazilian newspaper North Regiao reported that the woman confessed, “There was a day I had to masturbate 47 times”, adding: “I began to suppose that this could not be normal, and decided to seek help.”
Currently, Bezerra follows a treatment that includes a potent cocktail of sedatives which gets her to “only” masturbate 18 times a day.

http://m24digital.com/en/2011/05/11/the-court-ruled-in-her-favor-and-now-she-can-masturbate-at-work/

o_0

that actually sounds like it really sucks

wow

I'm amazed they didn't toss the case out.

Apparently, this is a month-old hoax that has been enthusiastically copied by just about everyone by now.

http://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&twu=1&u=http://trimiliquis.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/a-falsa-masturbadora-maluca-de-vila-velha/

Mixtape title of the year, right there.

Worsens when the portal comes from a nonsense, because if you get to auntie and say 'look, this here is fake! "She rub A LINK in your poke. E aí? So?

the translation's even better than the story

The deep mental anguish of not having an orgasm right now is pretty much what we call life, amirite?

^^^^

i've resorted lately to thinking up what female friend would be the best candidate to become a FWB...

also twice per day, sometimes three times

Maybe you should start holding auditions.

the FWB thing is still uncharted waters 4 me

I used to think BFF was some sort of acronym for something similar.

I'd watch that Paris Hilton show and think "What is she going to do with the winner then?"

I prefer "shagbuddy" to FWB as how to view it.

In Finland we have two terms: "vakipano" ("steady fuck") is for someone with whom you're having regular, no-strings-attached sex, but you don't necessarily hang out with her; and "panokaveri" ("fuck friend") is for a friend with whom you might occasionally have sex.

which is different from sweden, where they have terms "steady friend" (someone who you're friends with regularly but never have sex with) and "fuck fuck" (someone you fuck all the time, regardless of whether he/she is your friend).

and "fuck fuck fuck" is for when you hit your hand with a wrench when fixing your car.

lol

http://www.gamification.co/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/hpt-infographic.png

http://www.gamification.co/2013/06/07/happyplaytime-and-the-gamification-of-female-masturbation/

predict thread connections will see a lot of action tonight

What is that mushroom/glans/upside-down vajayjay type thing speaking the text balloons supposed to be, btw? xpost

http://www.gamification.co/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/HPT-1-168x300.png

I may never be able to fuck again after seeing that cartoon vagina. Thanks Obama!

you're welcome

omg obama