yr real life TMI conversations

"i've never seen so much blood come from a penis before!"

lady friend discussing the disappointing size of a (mutual friend's) penis

college friend asking me for advice on video cameras that have good zoom, then telling me that he wants one to document his poop while he does one of those cleanse things.

re: friends' penis size - of two different friends of mine, i have heard "big to the point of uselessness" and "a sad little creature"

i drove this girl around in circles for like 15 minutes and made her late to a class so she could tell me about this dude that i have crush on's penis

When I was a teen two of my female friends were always talking about the penises of the guys they slept with. Sometimes it was kinda weird meeting their boyfriends, when I knew nothing about them except how big/small their dicks were.

one of my female friends told us about her ex-boyfriend had a tail. This is someone I sorta knew already. And he was a total asshole to her, so it crossed my mind that she could be inventing this story as a subtle means of revenge. But, after hearing about this appendage, every time I'd see him after that I would always be looking for corroborating evidence. He had a habit of wearing baggy pants, etc.

ex's older sister letting me know about the mechanics of childbirth

xpost say something he likes, and see if it wags.

xp unfortunately, he has moved to Bali, so I can't test this method.

lol @ jordan

^

tbh it was so necessary - it was like i was doing a science experiment, needed to prove my hypothesis and shit

^ can totally relate. I was at a party recently with this guy I once had a crush on, who is tall (over 6ft). For whatever reason, he mentions his shoe size ... which is actually kind of small considering his height. The shoe size / penis size thing immediately came to mind, but I had no way of discreetly researching this.

I don't think there's any scientific truth to that theory. At least in my experience.

it is a foolish idea

I've got average feet and an average cock, if that proves anything.

my wenis is long

http://www.wenisworks.com/wenis_pics.asp

sick mouthy with some anecdotal

i saw this dude i used to work for the other day on the street. we're talking about our kids and stuff and he's telling me about how his son, 12, is 'just now catching a whiff of something in the air, only he doesn't know that it's pussy'; and that they went on a lake vacation recently with his brother and his girlfriend, who is a stripper. apparently the stripper and the kid go out on the innertube together and her top gets pulled off. he later asked his son 'well, did you touch them or get a good look at them or something' and the boy said 'no' and at this point in the story a man and his 8 or 9 yr old daughter come walking up behind him and i can tell the kind of thing he's building up to say and trying to make sssh handsigns but it's too late because he's shouting 'SON, YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULDN'T PAY TO GET A STRIPPER TOPLESS ON AN INNERTUBE!!' and realizes right then that he's basically just yelled that at this father and daughter on what i'm sure was some lovely walk in the park. and laughs. and i laugh. and we are a couple of notoriously loud laughers. what i wouldn't give to see the look on that little girl's face again.