You Belong To The Clitty

You totally beat me to it.

I was going to go with a Del lyric for the title: "People call me nasty, that's because I eat the cat."

Yours is better.

These polls really should be postponed until after New Years Eve.

They'll keep.

Male; year. Wish there was a '2 months' option. Last sexual encounter included sex but no going down, not because I am ungentlemanly but because it would have been 'inconvenient'. You will find the Suggest Ban button conveniently located after 'Bookmark'.

Absolutely honestly, not exaggerating, I read your post too quickly and thought you didn't go down on her because it would have been 'incontinent.'

Mods plz to add "Suggest pussy eating" button

xpost Ew

would have been 'inconvenient'.

Inconvenient? What, were you having sex on a circus trapeze or something?

Male; year. Wish there was a '2 months' option. Last sexual encounter included sex but no going down, not because I am ungentlemanly but because it would have been 'inconvenient'. You will find the Suggest Ban button conveniently located after 'Bookmark'.

this joke made me laugh even harder the 2nd time & I am thanking u

would have been 'inconvenient'.

Inconvenient? What, were you having sex on a circus trapeze or something?

I think maybe we're talking about, well, you know...

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_imagearticle602.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrrEo3hZABU

well i don't wanna gain a reputation

lol kenan you goddamn expert, i bet you've got that image bookmarked

It's just a bit of blood, wash your beard out afterwards. Or use a dam.

xp No, I swear, I Googled it all over again.

And come on. "Falling to the communists" is fucking funny.

You people know too much about me.

'Walking along the beach in soft-focus' was my favourite but yeah

new york city clitty committee pity the fool that act shitty, in the midst of the calm, the witty

conway clitty

xxp - does anyone really call it that?

Call what what?

Call menstruation 'Walking along the beach in soft-focus'

And no, I don't think anyone does.

No it's a joke about douche commercials.

Which now that I think of it, you don't see anymore.

You know, the classic: "Mom, sometimes I just don't feel fresh."

Mom: "Take a fucking shower."

Actually, douche commercials were allowed on television to make up for lost revenue from the ban on cigarette advertising.

see also: the douche tax

Shall I compare thee to a summer's eve?

That time of the month thou may'st in me behold

I do hope that the Age of the Vaginal Douche is over. Not to mention the attendant commercials.

"Mom, sometimes I'm afraid that my pussy smells like a pussy, and that boys won't like me because of it."

Surely this went out of style as cunnilingus became a standard practice.

huh, i've never seen or heard of a commercial like that

No man has has ever said, "Honey, I'm concerned that your pussy smells and tastes like a pussy. Is there something you can do to make it more like a dressed salad?"

pretty sure cunnilingus predates douche commercials.

lollllll at the idea of cunnilingus being a post-douche revolution

"Post-douche revolution" to the tune of The The's The Beaten Generation is now stuck in my head.

clitty clitty bang bang

xxp I'm not saying that, I'm postulating that the viability of this silly product declined and the product itself became unsalable as women realized that the natural smell of their stuff was not something that made men run for the hills, as they had been told for a very long time. And I think that one of the cultural shifts that made this possible was men's hesitant-at-first but then eager willingness to get down in it.

you have interesting theories, but i have no wish to subscribe to your newsletter at this time.

ilx really is ending 2009 on some high notes. well done kenan. apart from for that^^ yawn.

So you're positing that men were hesitant about giving women oral sex for thousands of years and at some point in the 1990s only became unhesitant?

tang is straight fire obv

tang is straight fire obv

I have no idea what this means.

poontang obv

So you're positing that men were hesitant about giving women oral sex for thousands of years and at some point in the 1990s only became unhesitant?

I'd say 70's or 80's but basically, yes. It was done, I'm sure. But it wasn't done widely, and it certainly wasn't something women felt entitled to, if even comfortable with. And it CERTAINLY wasn't something men felt good or manly or accomplished about doing.

You think I'm crazy, mock me as you wish. But boys eating pussies en mass is a very recent cultural development.

uh, but the golden age of the douche commercials were the 70s/80s/early 90s - that kinda doesn't support your theory.

i just googled "qu'uran cunnilingus". this thread is a bad influence.

I think you are just making shit up at this point, kenan.

you are more cautious than kenan who recklessly said he thought he'd 'licked the problem'.

the only thing this thread makes me want to bury my face in is my hands

If your palms have as much hair on them as mine, then it's a reasonable approximation.

eh not unless it's trimmed into a cute little pink heart it's not

no, normally I just give each palm a side parting

not what you'd think after reading this thread: http://brasilmagic.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/brazilian-manicures-are-the-best/

wow kenan I got love for you but you kind of are so wrong in this thread it's ridiculous

Yeah, I think I need a new topic for my dissertation.

Un-creeping Oneself: Methods of Recuperating one's Internet Reputation

co-authors, kenan and jagger, l.

Methods of Recuperating one's Internet Reputation

One way to go about it: http://www.onthemedia.org/transcripts/2009/12/18/06

lj is on his fourth? fifth? user name.

clitty clitty bang bang

― gastro pub n' tug (carne asada), Thursday, December 31, 2009 7:48 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark

was gonna make this a user name but decided against it

i'm 2 legit to clit

hey kenan, this is a reminder - don't fuck my mom! Have a nice lunch!

^ she takes care of me.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Didn't see this poll before.

(What's the time? OK, subtract 10 hours..)

Last chance.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zs4XgnDNHjI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktVcFNH_HHs

results indicate most of ilx are men in successful relationships?

That poll option would be "I am male and have had my cock in someone else's mouth in the last 48 hours."

didn't realize ilx was so very gender-skewed! or maybe it's just this poll.

12 men on ILX have never been down in it? I guess we all started somewhere

pssst also some guys are not interested in women

not thinking as usual

shit, that's bad actually. very bad. that's the kinda lunkheaded heteronormative shit i thought i was bigger than

altho i do believe everything should be tried once, and fully intend to have the inverse experience at some stage in the not too distant future

LJ I think the only way you can rectify this is by rolling one around in yr mouth for a bit.

ugh wait I apologize

you have gobstoppers in the usa? coz that's how i'm gonna interpret that

also yes i shall apologise to the world's gay population through the international language of ceremonial fellatio

fully intend to have the inverse experience at some stage in the not too distant future

how many years has dude been promising this to a disinterested public now, ban lj from tmi

face being down in it. 3

?

what, right now?

wau

no, i think it was at the time of voting.

I KNEW IT

there are no lesbians. lesbians are a myth that the pr0n industry made up to sell us vampire the buffysucker videos

acoleuthic is turning into bret anderson circa 1992 well laddie i got yr bisexual experience right here in my pants

lol get in the queue galahad

http://www.workthatclitcumgirl.com/

fucking EW

well that was . . . odd

i used to have sex with a girl who didn't like guys going down on her. Weird.

i'm sure it was just you

i have a friend who doesn't enjoy oral (giving or receiving). one of her past boyfriends didn't either. people are different. CRAZY.

haha, very funny. No like I went to go down on her and she stopped me saying "she didn't like it" before I had even started.

not enjoying receiving oral sex is like not enjoying a beautiful sunset or something. It's inhuman.

if the oral sex is more like gathering stormclouds at dusk then i generally curtail it tbh - genuinely more pleasurable to give than receive imo

disagree but maybe that's a gender thing. not sure how to interpret "gathering stormclouds at dusk" though....

if it's...not exactly sensual, hard work, mechanical, or generally just enough to tickle but not to send shafts of pleasure thru one's form...then it's gonna fizzle out in a damp squib at some point down the line. so unless they're really into it, better idea to suggest something else! it's not like foreplay options are limited.